Wedding Etiquette Forum
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"What should we wear?"

I may be overthinking this, but I'd like to know if you ladies think I said the right thing in case it comes up again...

I saw some aunts and uncles last weekend that I hardly ever see. We were talking about my upcoming wedding, and one of my aunts asked me what they should wear. I said, "Well it's indoors on a Saturday night, so I don't think you would feel overdressed if you wanted to wear a long dress. A cocktail dress would be fine too though."

I know they can wear whatever they want, but I personally get annoyed if I specifically ask someone what I should wear to something and they say "Whatever you want." That's not helpful. But do you think I said too much? 

Part of the reason I'm asking is that in the process of planning my sister's shower a couple years ago, I know I made some terrible etiquette blunders regarding this part of the family. I haven't been close to them my whole life, and we are really just starting to build a relationship. I really don't want to say anything wrong that could make me look like a bridezilla and give them the wrong impression of me. 

Edited because I can't type

Re: "What should we wear?"

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    TKzillaTKzilla member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited May 2013
    In Response to Re: "What should we wear?":
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: "What should we wear?" : I was just saying it's obnoxious not to answer a simple question when the information is necessary.  If I'm asking how much your wedding costs, give me some bullcrap answer like "30 goats, 3 mechanical pencils, and half a tractor."  If I'm asking what to wear to your wedding because I want to be appropriate at an important event in your life, don't say a friggin cape.
    Posted by KindaSparkly[/QUOTE]

    Luckily my friends can take a joke. Perhaps I want them to wear capes. Maybe I'm having a superhero themed wedding.

    It's just not that serious. I honestly do not care what people wear. And after getting three phone calls at work from different people asking the same question within the span of a few hours, it was time to get creative.

    Please note that I am not seriously saying "Yes, wear a cape and a monocle and your underwear on the outside." It's "I don't really care, it's on the beach so it's pretty laidback. You could wear jeans or a top hat, I just hope to see you there."

    The conversation does NOT go:

    Q: Court, what should I wear?
    A: Definitely a cape.

    See?

    ETA: The people who know me and FI know that this is not some big black tie affair. I get wanting to be "absolutely sure" but we're having 75 guests and half of that is wedding party and their SO's, spouses or parents. It's pretty much like "Can I wear jeans?" Yes. Yes you can.

    image
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    TKzillaTKzilla member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to Re: "What should we wear?":
    [QUOTE]Courtania...obviously she was generalizing, not being serious that she would show up in shorts and a tank top.   -ALSO- Did anyone see the pictures from Mama June's wedding this last weekend?  Yikes.
    Posted by Alaynajuliana[/QUOTE]

    Obviously I'm not actually suggesting people seriously wear capes to my wedding.
    image
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    for the OP, people who ask you what to wear do not want to feel uncomfortable by showing up wearing something substantialy different than the other guests. If you have seen them at other events, it's even okay to say "something like what you wore to cousin bobs wedding."
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    ally91ally91 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    In Response to Re: "What should we wear?":
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: "What should we wear?" : Obviously I'm not actually suggesting people seriously wear capes to my wedding.
    Posted by CourtaniaLynn[/QUOTE]

    That would be awesome though.
    Soon-to-be Mrs. Kent
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    In Response to "What should we wear?":
    [QUOTE]I may be overthinking this, but I'd like to know if you ladies think I said the right thing in case it comes up again... I saw some aunts and uncles last weekend that I hardly ever see. We were talking about my upcoming wedding, and one of my aunts asked me what they should wear. I said, "Well it's indoors on a Saturday night, so I don't think you would feel overdressed if you wanted to wear a long dress. A cocktail dress would be fine too though." I know they can wear whatever they want, but I personally get annoyed if I specifically ask someone what I should wear to something and they say "Whatever you want." That's not helpful. But do you think I said too much?  Part of the reason I'm asking is that in the process of planning my sister's shower a couple years ago, I know I made some terrible etiquette blunders regarding this part of the family. I haven't been close to them my whole life, and we are really just starting to build a relationship. I really don't want to say anything wrong that could make me look like a bridezilla and give them the wrong impression of me.  Edited because I can't type
    Posted by Salsera29[/QUOTE]

    I think what you said is fine. .No worries
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    I went to a wedding last year where the bride and groom answered just about every question with, "We're not having a traditional wedding!"

    They used this phrase to answer questions like:

    "What time should we arrive?"
    "How late will the reception go?"
    "Is the wedding indoors or outdoors?"

    And of course:
    "What should we wear?"

    Yes, it can get annoying to answer the same question over and over. Yes, it can be irritating when you think guests should know better. But it was very stressful for many of us to prepare for the wedding, especially because we had no idea what to wear.

    I recommend coming up with a brief description of appropriate attire, and/or creating a page on your wedding website with examples. If I had been told, "Our wedding will be taking place indoors and outdoors, but most female guests will be wearing sundresses and sandals, and most male guests will be wearing jeans, button-down shirts, and sports coats," I would have been so much less stressed!
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