Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridal Shower Etiquette

So my mom has offered to pay for my bridal shower and we both know that this can look gift-grabby.  Would it be ok if we put the RSVP person as my sister since she is also my MOH?  My sister is very much looking forward to planning this party even though my mom is paying for it.

Secondly, how close to the actual wedding should the bridal shower be?  My mom and sister are currently working on a budget and hope to have everything settled by September/October.  That would put then at 6-7 months before the wedding.  My mom doesn't want to have it in December or January because of the holidays but she feels that March might be too close to the wedding and she doesn't want to do that either.  She is thinking either February or November.  

Any thoughts or opinions would be greatly appreciated!

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Re: Bridal Shower Etiquette

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    I think typically showers are held 1-2 months before the wedding, but it can be earlier especially if it's an out of town shower. 

    (For what it's worth, I got married in May but had my shower in late December---which is quite early---because it was the only time I'd be in my hometown before the wedding.  I don't think anyone raised their eyebrows because of it.). 

    It's perfectly okay for your mom to pay while your sister takes on the role of "host" by doing everything else and handling the RSVPs. =) 
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    My opinion on this may not be completely in line with etiquette, but I thought I'd share it...

    I think it really depends on your region and/or social circle when it comes to the MOB hosting the bridal shower. In the past it was considered gift-grabby for a mother to host a party for the purpose of gifting her own child, but really it's become very common as of late. I don't think it's a big deal at all... if your mother wants to host your shower and/or pay for it that is very gracious and shouldn't be a problem, as long as all the guests are hosted properly. If your sister is part of the planning then she's basically a co-host, even though mom is paying, and no one will really know (or care). 

    Honestly, I had the same question a few months ago and all the ladies on this board seemed to respond this same way. My mom hosted (and paid) for my shower (I am an only child) and my MOH (my only attendant) is hosting (and paying) for my bachelorette party. At first my MOH thought it was her responsibility to host my shower and was fully prepared to do so, but my mom brought up the point that she'd feel more comfortable hosting my shower if my MOH would like to host the bachelorette party, as she didn't think "mom throwing the bachelorette" would be appropriate. I didn't mind either way and was just grateful that they both wanted to host these parties at all. 

    We just had my shower last weekend (May 4th) and my wedding is June 8th. It went off without a hitch. We had a luncheon at a nice restaurant, hosted 15 guests, my FMIL baked cupcakes, I opened presents, we didn't play any games (not our style) and I made a toast to mom at the shower to thank her for hosting. Everyone had a good time and there was nothing weird about my mom hosting my shower at all.

    Hope that helps and good luck with your shower! 

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    I'm having a shower 3 months out because it's the only time I will be back in my hometown, so I think it will be fine to have it a little in advice if your mom is worried about holidays.  

    I think it's fine to have your MOH (sister) be put as the host for the shower if that's what your mom and you would like to do.
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    I would do it in February.  This will give some space between the holidays and your shower and still give you space between your shower and wedding so you can get thank you notes written.
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    My shower is in August and my wedding is in October. It's the only time that could work for my OOT family. It's fine for your mom to host and/or pay for the shower - I think that etiquette went out the door a long time ago with quite a few circles. In my circle, the mother is the one who usually pays/hosts for the shower and the BMs help plan it/co-host.
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