Wedding Etiquette Forum

Coworker invite?

My FI and I are planning on having our wedding in SC where I grew up (we currently live in KS while I am in graduate school) and where my entire family is; his entire family lives in MI and we've discussed & decided that neither of us interested in having a wedding in MI.

With that being said, I plan to send out save the dates so people who need to travel will be aware of the arrangements ahead of time and can make plans accordingly if they plan to attend. This includes a group of co-workers that I've worked with for the past 3 years and have become very close too - we all hang out with each other outside of work and attend/support each others functions when we are available. I would invite these people if we were having a wedding in KS, thus I am going to still invite them even though our wedding will most likely be in SC because I feel it is only right and polite to do so. When my co-worker partner (who I work jointly with at the office) asked me about my plans, I told her what they were and she stated "oh I might come!" which I was surprised because I assumed (I know I shouldnt have) that no one would travel for my wedding from work.

So given that I am inviting these individuals from my work, my question is about a particular "coworker" K, that I don't consider a friend and I'm not close too. She hangs out with our group because she is best friends with one of the girls, M, on my team (who will be invited). K doesn't come around if M isn't at work - when M was on maternity leave a few months ago, we (myself and my other co-workers on the team) rarely saw K because she didn't come around. I had even mentioned this to M that "K. doesn't come around if you aren't at the office" which M said is typical of K.  K has insulted me to my face at times telling me I am stupid and that I annoy her. She never congratulated me on my engagement which was on May 2nd, even though I've been in the same car with her since then & have talked about wedding stuff which I found very rude, even if you don't like me the least you could do is congratulate me as I would only do the same for you...I only deal with her when I have to because she is generally invited to outtings automatically because she is M's best friend. Do I need to invite her because she is apart of our group even though she really only hangs out with us because M does? 

I am mainly asking because I want to do the polite and right thing, and because I know she made comments about my co-worker, C's wedding when he got married in last September and she wasn't invited. C explained to us that she wasn't invited because he isn't friends with her and doesn't need the negative energy around because all she does is insult people and basically is a b*tch to people and she'll even tell you she's a b*tch. It made sense to me, but I was wondering etiquette wise if it would be rude to not invite her? I had read somewhere that generally you invite people that are apart of groups, but I wasn't sure if that applied to friends or just family members.

Thank you!

Re: Coworker invite?

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    kmbryant2413kmbryant2413 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited May 2013
    Holy cow that was a long story. You're friends with a lot of your coworkers but not all. One in particular is rude. So invite who you want to attend, and don't invite who you don't. She's not part of your friends so don't invite her, especially if she is rude. ETA: Ditto Sparkly. Stop talking about the wedding around her. Like yesterday.
    my blog - for the love of ein
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    Thank you and will do!
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