Sticky work situation

ScrubGirl83

So, a few weeks ago I finished mailing out my invitations for my wedding on August 3rd. I included my bosses from work. A few weeks ago, I put in for a transfer to another hospital within the same organization. It's much much closer to my home and a brand new facility. Today, I got the job! I got the offer letter and put in my two weeks and I start my new job on June 10th. The question is, should I extend an invitation to my new bosses? Granted, I have never met them. I interviewed over the phone yesterday and they gave me the job today. My dad says it couldn't hurt to invite them, but at the same time, I don't want them to feel awkward and obligated and again, I have never met them. I just feel like if I don't at least extend an invite I'm going to look rude? I don't know. I figure I will be working at the new hospital for a long time and I don't want to regret that I didn't invite at least my new bosses. I don't know if I'm making any sense.

The other sticky thing here is, while I am starting on June 10th, my department doesn't open til August 1st. I can totally work that day but then I'm going to need the weekend off to get married. And then the week after that for my honeymoon. Resort has already been booked but not flights. I haven't told them this yet. When should I do this? When I go into HR to fill out paperwork? When I actually sit down with my new boss? Should I see if we can reschedule the resort for a month later or something so I'm not taking 2 weeks off basically right after the hospital opens? I don't want to hide anything from them. Thoughts?

mstallae

I wouldn't invite the new bosses as you don't know them yet.  Yes you may get to know them very well but if your wedding is in August that isn't really a long time from now so I'd just invite the people you DO already know.  I'd feel strange getting an invite from someone I've never met that I work with especially if I was their boss. 

I also wouldn't change your honeymoon plans either.   Tell them asap when you go in to HR or whatever that you are happy to accept the new job and look forward to working there etc but you have made plans for your wedding/honeymoon several months (or more!) ago and will need that time off.  I'm sure they will understand as it was planned before you even applied for this job likely. 

ScrubGirl83

I don't want to make them feel strange. You don't think it would be rude though?

I have to meet with HR within the next 5-10 days so I think I will tell them about the wedding and honeymoon then.

Thanks for the advice!

AJuliaNJ

I wouldn't invite the bosses. It would be awkward because you don't know them. If you have a super great connection with them once you start working with them, you could always give them an invite later and say, "I didn't really know you when the invitations went out, but we've really become close and I'd like to have you at my wedding."

I'd let your bosses know about the wedding and honeymoon ASAP. I've always done that BEFORE giving my acceptance for a job. It can be very hard to get time off from a new job if you didn't negotiate it when you have the most power--when debating the offer.

ScrubGirl83

When I got the job offer over the phone, it was the corporate HR guy, not the HR guy for my new hospital. So he wasn't really the person to talk to about time off. Should I directly call my new boss on Monday to discuss time off or talk to the HR people for my new hospital? I've never been in a situation like this before. It's not as hard to get time off with my position as I work 3 12 hour shifts. It would be harder if I worked everyday.

hordol

I would not invite them. I guarantee they will not be sitting there wondering why they weren't invited. They will know it's because they just met you.

ETA: contact HR and ask what the procedure is for getting time off. After hearing back from them I would contact your boss.

loca4pook

I would NOT invite your new boss. They will probably find it odd. They will TOTALLY understand they were not invited.

 

I would talk to HR immediately if you need a honeymoon and do it BEFORE you book anything else as they have a right to decline days off to you.

allispain

I wouldn't invite them. Trust me, they would think it weirder if you did invite them - especially if you did it right away. Like PP said, if you click with them really quickly, you can always invite them later and say it's because they've already come to mean so much to you and you'd love them to be present, or some such.

ScrubGirl83

Thanks everyone for the advice!! I sent an email to my new HR person to set up my paperwork appointment and I will talk to them then. Hopefully this week as the paperwork has to be done within 5-10 days of your hire date.

And @misssax yaaay date twins!!!

SB1512

A friend of mine was in a similar situation.......she landed a nursing job about 2 months before she got married on went on her honeymoon.  She made sure her bosses knew about it ASAP.  I'm actually about to be in a similar situation myself.....my wedding June 29th and I just finished grad school and am job hunting.  I have 2 job interviews lined up for next week and if I get an offer from either one I'll also be in the tough position of letting them know that while I may be able to start on X date I will need time off for wedding/honeymoon.

heathertims

I'm in a similar situation myself. I got my present job last september, and sent out my invites uber early(soooo many out of towners and many other reasons) for my Sept 2013 wedding. I did not invite my bosses, and i sensed they seemed a bit let down. But boy am I glad I didn't cause I am havig a really really terrible time at work. Like come home every day for a month bawling and looking for jobs bad time!!
Anywho, yesterday I got offered a great job. I'm waiting for everything to be official, but I will not be inviting my new boss either. He's a very nice man, but I hardly know him, and think it would be weird to invite him to such a special moment in my life.
I start my job June 12th. Moving in to m y first home June 15th Getting Married late September (no honeymoon this year). He knows about the move, but not the wedding. Hope all goes well

Good luck with the new job

Viczaesar

Wait, you mailed your invitations for your August 3rd wedding a few weeks ago?  3 months before your wedding?  That's way too early.  When is your RSVP date?

crunchymamaof2

Viczaesar said:

Wait, you mailed your invitations for your August 3rd wedding a few weeks ago?  3 months before your wedding?  That's way too early.  When is your RSVP date?

Thank you, I was thinking the same thing.

I would not invite the new bosses. It would appear very gift grabby and kind of kiss ass-ey, IMO at least. I agree with the PPs who suggested inviting them later if you do hit it off.

wrigleyville

As a former "boss", I'd think it was really bizarre (nice, but bizarre) if a new hire invited me to their wedding. I would decline out of weirdness and probably side-eye it a little bit. Your heart is in the right place, but no.

Talk to HR about your wedding and honeymoon pronto. Since these are pre-planned events with firm dates, plane tickets, etc, you probably won't get any pushback. They'll advise you on the best course of action for notifying your department. The sooner you do this, the better. That way, they can plan for your absence instead of rearranging schedules just a few weeks beforehand. Lots of people take time off in the summer, so the more notice you give them, the better.

ScrubGirl83

My RSVP date is July 5th. Mother was chomping at the bit for me to get them out close to the 3 month mark. It seemed easier to just mail them last Wednesday than fight about it. So I guess it was really only a week ago now that I really think about it.

I won't invite the new bosses unless we really hit it off and I will speak to HR as soon as they call/email me back for the paperwork/physical day. Thank you so much everyone!

[Deleted User]

christinad18 said:

My RSVP date is July 5th. Mother was chomping at the bit for me to get them out close to the 3 month mark. It seemed easier to just mail them last Wednesday than fight about it. So I guess it was really only a week ago now that I really think about it. I won't invite the new bosses unless we really hit it off and I will speak to HR as soon as they call/email me back for the paperwork/physical day. Thank you so much everyone!

You're going to have a lot of unsure answers with a RSVP date that early. A lot of people will say "yes" and not show up and vice versa.