Awkward Shower Invitation

Amsdragonfly

So, the fiance of my fiance's friend from college messaged me about a month ago on facebook about an upcoming bridal shower that her sister is hosting for her. She told me that her sister had sent out invites, and mine got sent back. So she wanted to know our new address so it could be resent, and I gave it to her. Flash forward to now. A couple of days ago this person private messages me again on facebook, saying that her sister decided not to bother re-sending my invite, and here is where the shower is and this is her sister's rsvp number. And that was it. I didn't reply- I feel kind of weird- why wait so long to tell me all of this? I feel like I don't really want to go to the shower anyway, I'm not close to this person at all, but FI and I are going to their wedding in July. So... what do you all make of this? Is it dumb to feel kind of slighted? 

I wasn't really into going (I'm not into the whole shower thing) and now I really don't feel like going. Ettiquette-wise, do I send a gift still? Or just for the wedding? 

kmcclelland7

First, hooray we are date twins!

Second, I would feel a little weird about that situation as well.  The whole only being invited on facebook because her sister was too lazy to spend 10 seconds readdressing and stamping an envelope doesn't really scream "Hey I want you there because we are friends, not just for a gift."  If you aren't close and don't want to go to the shower, then don't.  And you don't have to give a gift for it as well if you aren't comfortable with that.  I think a nice wedding gift and a "Congrats!" when you see them at their wedding is plenty.  

Etiquette-wise you don't have to give a gift if you RSVP no (you should RSVP anyway even if you aren't going) and technically you don't have to give a gift at the wedding either.  Although I feel weird going to a wedding and not giving a gift or at least a card.

OliveOilsMom

You can attend or not, it's up to you.  I probably would not send a gift if you were not going to attend.  While the facebook invite is odd, I do give props to the bride for trying to fix her sister's bad etiquette.

Kate61487

I don't find it too odd - it sounds like she probably had a miscommunication with her sister and when she realized that her sister wasn't re-sending it she gave you the info.  Regardless you don't have to go (though you should definitely RSVP) and if you don't go you don't have to give a gift.

tiny speck

If you don't want to go, just rsvp no. There's no need to send a gift either if you're not comfortable doing so.

MuppetFan

I don't think there was intentional rudeness, but I appreciate that the bride tried to correct it. If you don't want to go, I'd decline via fb and send a gift if you want to. You don't have to.

allispain

I wouldn't feel badly about not going - I only go to showers for close friends and family - the SO of a friend of FI's? Not so much unless we happen to be friends ourselves. If you don't go, no gift is needed.

annmarie714

No gift is needed but if you plan on giving a gift for the wedding, head to the store before the shower so you have lots of options to choose from on her registry!

Amsdragonfly

Thanks ladies! I spoke to her and said I couldn't make it- but I'd see her at the wedding.