Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridesmaid & Groomsman Trouble

I asked FI cousin to be one of my Bridesmaids and He her husband to be a groomsman. Now they are getting a divorce. FI and his cousin do not want him in the wedding. I haven't known him long enough to make a judgement. I do not know how to go about "firing" him as a groomsman, is it just implied. He also just became an american citizen a few months ago and does not understand american culture/etiquette. 


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Re: Bridesmaid & Groomsman Trouble

  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary

    Your wedding is 16 months away? You shouldn't have asked your bridal party yet for exactly these reasons.

    Personally, I think your FI needs to call him, offer condolences on the divorce, and say he's sorry he can't have him in the wedding party.

    Normally, there's pretty much no reason to kick anyone out, and it's assumed that one (or both) of the couple would step down. Since you're concerned about cultural differences, it may be best to be blunt yet polite and move on.

     

  • Oh, this one's awkward. I don't even know. I guess my gut reaction is to stay out of it and let your FI handle.
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  • I agree with Lia. This may take care of itself. 
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  • Why did your fiance even ask him to be a groomsman if you guys are only close to him because of the bridesmaid?
  • kjlambkjlamb member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    FI used to be close with him, but he wants nothing to do with him now that he found out he was abusing his cousin,


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  • If spousal abuse was taking place, I would definitely have FI contact him and say that unfortunately, with the divorce, he simply doesn't feel right having this guy in the WP anymore. It's no longer just an issue of etiquette but also one of the cousin's safety.
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  • hlvonbhlvonb member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I agree with allispain. If there was abuse he should not be in the wedding party. I was always told the wedding party represents the bride and groom. I would not be the one to say anything to him since you do not know him that well but I would let your FI be the one to tell him. It's a bad, sucky, awkward situation but I think him not being in it is the best move / decision. Good luck with that.
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