Wedding Etiquette Forum

Pre-addressed thank you cards?

This weekend my MOH and GM threw me a shower and it was absolutely beautiful! My mom made sure the first gift I opened was from her, and it was a box of custom thank you notes that matched the invitations to the shower. She also had printed labels already put on the envelopes, both with my return address, and then addressed for every person invited to the shower. I was kind of embarrassed to open this in front of everyone, especially right away, because it kind of relates to the "too lazy to take the time" to write out TY notes. The cards themselves are blank on the inside, though. 

Basically, would it be rude to use these? I would also kind of feel rude to my mom for NOT using them, but I don't want other people side-eyeing me either. Of course this is a huge convenience to me, but I had already planned on taking care of them myself (and actually ordered my own notes already). Any thoughts?

Re: Pre-addressed thank you cards?

  • vk2204vk2204 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    I wouldn't side eye this at all. You didn't ask your guests to address their own envelopes, so I don't see it as an issue. It would be the same as if you ordered your envelopes pre-printed yourself.
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  • I wouldn't side-eye that at all.  Everyone saw you open it, it was a gift from the heart from your mom and I think you shouldn't worry about it.
  • My vote is don't waste the paper, use them. I think it's more important that you write out thank you cards for the gifts & send them then the fact that the envelopes are already pre-addressed for you. That was nice of your mom to take care of that portion for you. It will help make the card writing process easier & quicker for you.

  • To me, what matters is whether or not I receive a thank you note at all (handwritten, that is). It would not bother me if the labels had bee pre applied by you or anyone else. I say use them.
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  • Use them!  And as to the ones you already ordered, can they be re-purposed for writing thank-you notes for wedding gifts after the wedding?  Or is it money down the drain?

  • I'd use them. Everyone knows they're from your mom.
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  • harper0813harper0813 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited June 2013
    I see no problem with using them - everyone knows it was a gift. I agree with PPs that your mom should have given them to you privately, but it was a thoughtful gift, for sure.

    Can you use the thank-you cards you already had for the wedding instead?
  • It's fine! no one cares how a TY note is addressed, they care what's written inside. Don't give it a second thought.
  • Thanks for the input. I figured that's what everyone would say, but I wanted to double check. I also wish Mom had given these privately, but my mother is not very familiar with the idea of humility.

    As for the notes I've already ordered, they are not necessarily "wedding" notes, so they can easily be re-purposed. But I won't be using them as TY notes for the wedding itself. I am changing my last name, and these include my maiden name, but that doesn't bother me that much if being used for family/people I know well in the future. I can also use them in between now and the wedding, like for my work shower, extra notes to friends, etc.

    Thanks for reassuring me!
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