Wedding Etiquette Forum

Very recent unemployed College Grad Trying to Budget A Wedding

Hi everyone, 

I graduated less than a month ago and have no idea when I'll get a job or what I'll be making but my fiance (who has a job) and I are looking at reception places so we need a budget. I know there is a budget board but since there is also this lovely etiquette board I thought I would ask your advice first. Can you think of any traditions or items I could cut or change from my wedding without seeming rude? The only example I can think of is revamping the traditional rehearsal dinner. Thanks in advance!

Re: Very recent unemployed College Grad Trying to Budget A Wedding

  • Cut favors and programs, neither are needed.  A RD is not even needed, unless you are having a reshearsal.  And a RD can be as simple as a backyard BBQ or pizza.  Look into vistaprint.com for your invitations, they have sales all the time but also often have groupons you can purchase.  Think about alternatives to fresh flowers for bouquets and centerpeices.  Lastly, look at website where other brides are selling their wedding dresses, you can save a lot of money finding a second hand dress.

  • You could have a short afternoon ceremony and reception and host cake and punch. But it should not go into any meal times.

    Why aren't you interested in waiting to marry until you have some more money saved up and you're employed? I graduated college just four years ago and I spent several months without a full-time position and I can't imagine hosting a wedding during that time.
  • acr2014 said:
    Hi everyone, 

    I graduated less than a month ago and have no idea when I'll get a job or what I'll be making but my fiance (who has a job) and I are looking at reception places so we need a budget. I know there is a budget board but since there is also this lovely etiquette board I thought I would ask your advice first. Can you think of any traditions or items I could cut or change from my wedding without seeming rude? The only example I can think of is revamping the traditional rehearsal dinner. Thanks in advance!
    Don't have an evening dinner wedding. Do a brunch wedding or afternoon wedding. Keep the guest list small. If you have a rehearsal, you must have a rehearsal dinner. It can be pizza and beer, but you have to feed people. Skip the rehearsal, and you don't have to have a rehearsal dinner. 

    What kind of "traditions" are you wanting to cut? At the end of the day a wedding is two people, and officiant, witnesses, and some sort of hosted reception after the fact. 

    Though I have to be honest here. I'm a grad student planning a wedding, but if I knew I was unemployed after school there is no way I would have started to blow money on a wedding before I had a job. Do you and your FI have a financial plan and household budget worked out? 
    image
  • PPs have great advice.

    The biggest thing you can do to save money is to have a small guest list.  It can be hard to do, but it can save you a lot of money-less people to host, less invitations and postage, etc.  Having a reception during a non-meal time can also save you a ton. 

  • SB1512SB1512 member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    123print.com has invitations for low prices.  We used them and were very happy with the result.
  • You said it way better than I did, PDKH!

    Honestly, if you're looking for a simple, inexpensive wedding to happen in the very near future, head to the courthouse with a couple witnesses and then go out for a nice dinner with them (on your dime). Hire a young photographer or photographer assistant to capture the day and take some photos before your ceremony. Sounds like a lovely wedding to me.
  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary

    Everyone covered most of the basics.

    Two more tips from me:

    We didn't have wedding cake (I know, I know *gasp*). We opted for the dessert that was included with the dinner at our reception instead. Saved several hundred dollars there.

    We also used our local grocery store as a florist since all we wanted was basic bouquets and arrangements. Saved several hundred dollars there.

     

  • Do you have any money? If you have your heart set on getting married right away cut out all the cliche wedding stuff, go to city hall, and get married. Done.

    You make a budget by looking at how much you have to spend, and allocating it. Not by starting with what you think you need and then scrambling for cash.
  • My wedding cost about $900 and that includes our rings.  We held the ceremony at our house (since you may not have your own, a parent's house may be an option), with a justice of the peace, at a non meal time (we did ours at 8pm and had no traveling guests and a casual wedding), small guest list, we prepared our own food for the reception, and borrowed chairs.  I also made my own dress (<$150) and he bought his clothes on sale, but the goodwill or salvation army are other good options.  So our cost break down was ~$350 for rings, ~$200 clothes, ~150 for food and drink, and ~ $200 for miscellanous fees, decorations, and invitiations/thank yous.
  • The only thing you NEED to get married is the two of you and an officiant.

    If you add in guests the things you must have are chairs and refreshments appropriate to the time of day (so cake and punch at 2 or 3pm; full meal any time between 5 and 8; back to cake and punch after 8pm).  You do not have to have an expensive gown, alcohol, music, favors, programs, etc.  Those things enhance a reception (and in the case of alcohol and music will likely make your guests stick around a lot longer than if those things are absent), but are not necessary (but if you have them you must pay for them).  Outside of that there's really nothing etiquette-wise that's necessary that I can think of.

     

    If you come up with some budget busting ideas lay them on us, we're happy to tell you if something's not etiquette-kosher.

  • NerdyLucyNerdyLucy member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited June 2013

    FI and I are getting married in October and we're having a lower-budget, small wedding.  We're only having 50-75 guests, which I realize is quite a bit smaller than most people's weddings, but that does help with costs.

     

    Our venue for both the ceremony and reception is at a nearby state park.  I had read once that state parks are great for being inexpensive, and in my experience, that is absolutely correct.  We're catering in-house, so the restaurant within the park's lodge (same building as our reception) is making a buffet-style dinner. 

     

    I am not wearing a typical bridal gown.  I've got a dress from Nordstrom that I've bought, and he is probably wearing a suit that he already owns. 

     

    We're not having a bridal party.  That's not for budget reasons though, but I'm sure that we could potentially be saving some money there if I would've paid for hair and makup or something for BMs.

     

    We're not having a rehearsal dinner....or a rehearsal, for that matter.  Just a ceremony and reception.

     

    I'm not sure what we're doing about cake. I don't care if we even have a wedding cake, but I know the guests may expect something at least remotely cake-like, so we'll get one after all, just not a fancy, four-tiered sculpture.

     

    We didn't do Save-the-dates because we just got engaged in April.  We're getting our invitations and RSVP cards from Vista Print. We're not bothering with programs or anything.

     

    Our music will be from an iPod.

     

    Basically, our largest expense is the dinner.  I don't know how much the decorations will be, but I'm not that concerned.  I don't plan on getting a lot of flowers and we'll probably not use flowers for the centerpieces, so I'm hoping to save money there.

     

    ETA: Oh wait, I forgot about photography.  Our other larger expense will probably be that.  We happen to have a good friend whose father is a professional photographer and does great work. FI and I both know him and his wife, but FI is particularly close with the family.  We may be getting a discount, but maybe not. We're 100% happy to pay full price for his work.

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  • Do you have any money? If you have your heart set on getting married right away cut out all the cliche wedding stuff, go to city hall, and get married. Done. You make a budget by looking at how much you have to spend, and allocating it. Not by starting with what you think you need and then scrambling for cash.
    What Starmoon said. As someone who's FI has now been unemployed for 6 months, I would say in your sitation either go down to City Hall and do it in a small, special way, or wait until you are financially stable. Had we not planned a wedding we could afford without strain, our current financial situation would have taken all of the fun out of the planning because every expense would be a stress. And if I had a crystal ball and knew that we'd be in this situaion, I would have done a City Hall ceremony and been more than happy with it.
  • I can't imagine being unemployed but planning to spend thousands of dollars on a reception.  You can get married on a budget-it's called the courthouse, and it can be very lovely.
  • As a recent grad with no job, I'd really recommend holding off on planning a wedding until you are in a more stable position.  However, if you are set on getting married soon, I'd go with something small and simple (ie, courthouse with a nice dinner after) and save your money for your future.

  • FI and I started planning a wedding before he started into his career, but he had a job that started right after he graduated and I have a full time job that I've been working at since college. I'm assuming here that your FI is making enough to support both of you and you're job-searching. So, start by looking at how much FI makes, how much you both spend, and how much you can reasonably save up each month. Once you have a budget, start looking for venues.

    Things you can cut:

    The fancy cake. Try looking at national food distributors. FI and I are not cutting a cake - it will simply be served from the back.

    Programs, favors, decorations, STDs. Look for invites on vistaprint.

    A new dress. Search for used dresses or go to the department store. If you want a big, poofy white gown, a white prom dress will work too. Make your own veil or don't have one or buy one used.

    Alcohol. Serve just beer and wine or cut it completely.

    Flowers. Look for centerpiece ideas that don't use flowers or make paper flowers. I'm making paper flowers and the cost of my supplies is up to $15 for them all now. It take a fair bit of time though.

    DJ. You can use an ipod and speakers.

    Rehearsal dinner. There's really no need for one. You can't do the rehearsal without the dinner though, so cut the rehearsal completely if you don't provide dinner.

    That's all I can think of for now.
  • Wow thank you all for your great ideas. Yeah my fiance is an accountant and can cover our basic expenses. I worked my butt off in college resulting with both a marketing degree and in art with internship experiences and a large portfolio. Therefore, I'm interviewing and hope on either getting offered a marketing job soon or I plan on saying yes to one of the sales offers I've been getting or doing something part time and selling art. Anything I make will go towards the wedding and our parents have said they want to contribute but not how much yet. We're looking at next year late in August for the wedding. We plan on having the wedding at sunset either at a park or a reception place we saw. 
    Oh here's a question, in regards to having alcohol how would it be with etiquette to have a champaign toast with us where we supply the 1 glass for everyone but otherwise going dry? 
  • The champagne toast will be the only alcohol?  Then it should either be on the tables when the guests enter the reception room or served to the guests prior to the toasts.  Also have a lot of non-alcoholic options: water, soda, tea, lemonade.  Remember that if you have your entire wedding in a park, you will need to check with whoever owns the park (state, county or town) to see if alcohol is allowed at all.  And if you want to stay completely non-alcoholic, then go with sparkling apple juice.
  • acr2014 said:
    Oh here's a question, in regards to having alcohol how would it be with etiquette to have a champaign toast with us where we supply the 1 glass for everyone but otherwise going dry? 

    Eh.  I don't think it's bad etiquette as long as everyone is offered the champagne toast (some people try to provide a champagne toast to only the wedding party, parents, etc. and not to the rest of the guests, and that is rude).  However as a guest, I would prefer to have a limited bar, such as beer and wine only, rather than have a few sips of champagne and then nothing else.  Price all of your options and decide how to best host your guests within the budget you have available.
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  • acr2014 said:
    Wow thank you all for your great ideas. Yeah my fiance is an accountant and can cover our basic expenses. I worked my butt off in college resulting with both a marketing degree and in art with internship experiences and a large portfolio. Therefore, I'm interviewing and hope on either getting offered a marketing job soon or I plan on saying yes to one of the sales offers I've been getting or doing something part time and selling art. Anything I make will go towards the wedding and our parents have said they want to contribute but not how much yet. We're looking at next year late in August for the wedding. We plan on having the wedding at sunset either at a park or a reception place we saw. 
    Oh here's a question, in regards to having alcohol how would it be with etiquette to have a champaign toast with us where we supply the 1 glass for everyone but otherwise going dry? 
    Good luck in the job search! Before you start planning anything (it's so hard to wait, I know!!), get the info from your parents on how much/to what they're willing to contribute and have an open dialogue of any strings attached to the money (i.e. "we'll only give you money if..."). Remember: s/he who pays gets a say. 

    Regarding having your wedding at sunset in August, make sure you look up sunset times for your area - this might be kind of late (wedding ceremony starting after 8pm). Check out www.sunsetsunrise.com. I think most people agree (chime in here fellow Knotties) that if you start the ceremony after 8pm and then have a reception, you can get away with snacks and no meal. So that might work great for your August sunset idea and limiting the budget.

    It's fine to have a champagne toast only if all guests are offered champagne. Poke around on TK boards for other ideas on how to limit your alcohol budget (please don't consider a cash bar - you'll get the gist of why by lurking around the boards). There are some really good ideas on how to budget for a bar without breaching etiquette.
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  • aphrodite0869aphrodite0869 member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited June 2013
    My FI and I actually both go to school and we both work a full time job and have four kids between the two of us.  We got engaged this past Christmas but aren't having our wedding until Sept. 2014 due to money.  If you do not want to wait for your wedding you can cut out paper products.  Maybe do e-vites or have a website such as facebook and ask people to RSVP there so you know how many to expect.  Also, have the reception at your house or a friends back yard and have a cook out of hamburgers and hot dogs or BBQ.  All that matters is you and him and if you feel as if you would be happy with a smaller wedding, go for it.  If you feel as if you want a bigger more elaborate wedding, then find out how much everything will cost first and then you can set a date depending on how much you want to spend on everything.
    Good Luck in your wedding and finding a job!
  • For a sunset ceremony, also keep in mind when you'll have time to do pictures.  If you are set on that time, you will likely have to do most of your pictures prior to the wedding otherwise you'll have no light.  So if you are hoping to go the traditional route and not see each other, it will make it very difficult.

    For our wedding, we opted to do our ceremony earlier so that we could take pictures during the sunset.  Of course, we still did a first look and got pics before the ceremony too, but we got some awesome sunset pics that we wouldn't have been able to if our ceremony was a little later.
  • kipnuskipnus member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    We cut the following...

    almost all decoration (we had none for the ceremony and very very little for the reception)

    flowers (only had flowers for WP and cake, and two bouquets at the altar)

    renting transportation of any kind

    fancy room for the wedding night

    favors

    programs

    alcohol
    We cut all of the above, as well, and we got our flowers from IGA and Costco. No fancy florists. Professional photography was very important to us, though, so we spent a little over a quarter of our budget on that (we went with the smallest package--6 hours). Our reception was in my parents' backyard, and we made all the food ourselves. We also kept the guest list in check.
  • If you want professional photography, look at those that do "a la carte" options and try to minimize the time that you need them... People are more likely to take candid photos on their own at the reception so ceramony and "formal" portraits only.  Make sure you get the rights to print on your own and use other printing sites.
    Avoid shoes labeled "wedding" if you look this summer I'm sure you can find good shoes cheap, even white ones.  Make or borrow or do without a veil... etsy is also a good option.  Do you own makeup and do your own or shop around for hair options. 
    If you are religious, a lot of churches rent halls for cheap.  Remember that they may have restrictions but the cost is often worth it.
    If you are pinched centerpieces are optional or there are lots of simple cheap options... guest probably won't remember them anyways.  Same with other decorations.
    Particularly if you aren't expecting people to dance, DJs are optional, an MP3 player and a basic sound system is all you need.
    Cheap basic thank you cards work just as well as expensive options.  STD are not needed, just pass around critical info word of mouth.  At minimum look for coupons for online store, but look at craft store print your own versions you can get with coupons for extra savings. You can ask your guests to call and/or email you in leiu of RSVP cards to save on postage. Remember that "rigid" items i.e. buttons, square cards add to postage in addition to anything over 1oz, which are a lot of invites.  Programs are not necessary, but if you want them, printing a self designed program black and white double sided on card stock is cheap.
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