Wedding Etiquette Forum

SRY gotta DD this

coolwhipz1coolwhipz1 member
Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
edited October 2013 in Wedding Etiquette Forum

Sry gotta DD this, there is a good chance this will be seen by a bride here planning her own wedding.

 

Thanks for all your responses!

Re: SRY gotta DD this

  • I would just stop hanging out with them.
  • I would minimize hanging out with them and when you do take cash so you can pay your portion of the bill (i.e with the ping pong table; if you're all there and they say "that'll be $30" you say "oh that's $5 a person; here's our $10" and make them pay right on the spot rather than covering it and having to ask for money back).

    As for them coming over and not bringing anything - I don't expect people to bring anything when they come over; but I can see how it would get really frustrating if you're ALWAYS hosting and they're never contributing.  Especially when you're getting shafted elsewhere.  This is your FI's BM so obviously they're close.  If he wants to continue the friendship you're just going to have to come to terms with the fact that you'll always be putting more in.

  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • FI and I had a friend like this. We would go out to dinner, they would get an appetizer and drinks and expensive entrees and expect to split the bill. We stopped going out with them. In the reverse, another friend tips 50% of the bill when we go out to eat and expects us to do the same. We don't really go out to eat with them either.

    If your FI doesn't want to continue thee friendship, then stop hanging out. Otherwise, don't cover expenses and ask to be paid back - have them cough up the cash there. Either stop going out to eat with them or ask for split checks every time. As for them offering to bring something over, I guess you can't really expect that, but it would annoy me too.
  • I would limit "going out" to casual bar situations where each couple just gets their own tab, and feel free to stop having them over.
  • My question is how would you handle this situation? Should we just keep avoiding offers to hang out or should we say something? He is the type that would get very offended if anything was said to him. They are nice people but I'm just sick of the constant cheapness and avoiding his part of the bill.

    I would handle it by not hanging out with him anymore.
    You could continue asking for separate checks at restaurants... make sure you hand your half of the money WITH tip directly to the server. ANY tip that guy doesn't leave will only reflect on him AND the server will remember that for the next time you guys go there.
    image
  • coolwhipz1coolwhipz1 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited October 2013
  • coolwhipz1coolwhipz1 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited October 2013


    thanks for the replies!
  • MsYeckMsYeck member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its
    While I agree it's everyone else's advice I would maybe talk to him first about it. It am be possible that the guy doesn't even fully realize what he is doing. He may change his behavior.
  • I don't get why you don't ask for separate checks more often?  It's not your fault he doesn't tip.
    Consider it my years as a waitress rearing their head, but it still reflects badly on the entire table if the overall tip sucks because of one douchebag. I personally would rather pony up the extra (and resent the jerk who sucks at tipping) than leave the server with less than they should get from the table. OP, stop going out to eat with these people.
  • And I understand that if we invite them over they aren't expected to bring anything, but it still bothers me that they never even offer. There was one time we told everyone to BYOB and he brought a single corona.......

    thanks for the replies!
    To be fair, BYOB does mean Bring Your Own Beer. Not Bring Your Own Beer for Yourself and Everyone Else. While it's nice to bring enough for others, that's not always what happens. I really only side-eye it when someone brings nothing and takes other's drinks without a thank you.

    Having said that, I'd never show up to a get together empty handed, but clearly this guy isn't into that lol.
    image
  • I don't get why you don't ask for separate checks more often?  It's not your fault he doesn't tip.
    Consider it my years as a waitress rearing their head, but it still reflects badly on the entire table if the overall tip sucks because of one douchebag. I personally would rather pony up the extra (and resent the jerk who sucks at tipping) than leave the server with less than they should get from the table. OP, stop going out to eat with these people.
    That's depressing to know, and I think unfair.  If I'm out with a party of people, I don't demand to see what their tips were, then sit there and lemon face at them until it's adjusted to MY standards.  That would be horrifically rude and leave my H and I friendless REALLY quickly.  Now I don't want to go out and eat at all, for fear of having a repeat waitress that was jilted by a friend of mine without my knowledge.  I had no idea it'd be held against me.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

  • I would not break up the friendship over $5. However, I would limit seeing them to events that don't require you to put out cash and wait to be reimbursed.

    If you go out to eat, ask the waitress politely at the beginning for separate checks. (I have friends who order lobster, filet and 4 glasses wine, while we have chicken and pasta and water. Then they say, "let's split it!" Ugh.)

    Also, try to find places with an entrance fee (no idea what though - movie, public pool, concert) where you each have to pay your own way to get in.

    Over time, the friendship may fizzle - or not. But confronting them won't fix his ways.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    image 293 (Adults) Invited
    image198 Yes (+ 12 children and 3 babies)
    image95 No
    image0 Unknown

  • MsYeck said:
    While I agree it's everyone else's advice I would maybe talk to him first about it. It am be possible that the guy doesn't even fully realize what he is doing. He may change his behavior.
    Something tells me this would not go well and would not be worth OP's time...
    *********************************************************************************

    image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards