Wedding Etiquette Forum

Best man troubles

My groom's best man is his brother. Everything including rsvping to the wedding he hasn't done. Took up until the last minute to get his tux, my groom is planning his own bachelor party, the priest wanted them to do a write up on the relationship for his homily... not done, and he is going to announce that his wife is pregnant the day before the wedding. My guy is stressed! What can I do?!

Re: Best man troubles

  • None of this should be stressful. All he has to do is show up in the tux on time. He got the tux so don't worry about it.

    And your fiancé shouldn't be planning his own bachelor party. If no one offers to throw it, he doesn't get one.
  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    My groom's best man is his brother. Everything including rsvping to the wedding he hasn't done. Took up until the last minute to get his tux, my groom is planning his own bachelor party, the priest wanted them to do a write up on the relationship for his homily... not done, and he is going to announce that his wife is pregnant the day before the wedding. My guy is stressed! What can I do?!

    Your FI shouldn't plan his own bachelor party. A bachelor party is a gift, not an entitlement.

    You can get a tux like 2 days before an event. When is your wedding?

    Why is the brother supposed to be writing up something about your relationship for the priest? Shouldn't you and your FI do that?

    Your BIL and his wife can announce their pregnancy whenever they want. You don't own your wedding day, or any other day of the year.

  • Why would you need to do anything? I don't see the problem here. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • He has his tux so all he has left to do is his homily thing, correct? When does that have to be in by? Just let fiance email/text/call the deadline in to him and let it go. What happens if he misses the deadline?

    Your fiance will be a lot less stressed if he stops planning his own bach party. Your fiance CHOSE to throw this party so he chose the stress that often comes with throwing parties.

    Don't dwell on the fact that they're announcing the pregnancy the day before your wedding. Your wedding is special and no one is going to forget your wedding in favor of the pregnancy, kwim?
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary

    N/M I found your wedding website and I see you're getting married on July 6th.

    Aaaaand are having a 3 hour gap. Nice.

    Enjoy your day and leave BIL alone.

  • It sucks that he's unresponsive and a procrastinator. I'm sorry that it's causing you stress. 

    Luckily, all of this stuff you can either deal with or not worry about: 

    1) RSVPing - he's coming right? even if he doesn't fill out the little card it's not life/death (if it makes you feel any better, my parents never sent ours back..we know they're coming); 
    2) announcing the pregnancy - it's annoying they'd choose that timing, but nothing for you to worry about; 
    3) planning the bachelor party - obviously your FI wanted one badly enough to break etiquette by throwing one for himself, so it can't be that bad; 
    4) GM has his tux... check;
    5) homily - you and FI can write this and if FI's brother is a flaky as you say, he'd probably just throw one together without much thought. Think of this as an opportunity.

    There. All set.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • itzMS said:

    N/M I found your wedding website and I see you're getting married on July 6th.

    Aaaaand are having a 3 hour gap. Nice.

    Enjoy your day and leave BIL alone.

    Aaaaaand listed your dinner menu?  What is up with that?

    Aaaaaaandplusalso, this is why we tell noobs not to use their full name as their screen name. 

    Internet security people.  Gawd!
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    Wedding Countdown Ticker


  • itzMS said:

    N/M I found your wedding website and I see you're getting married on July 6th.

    Aaaaand are having a 3 hour gap. Nice.

    Enjoy your day and leave BIL alone.

    .. but guests get to enjoy the museum for FREE for three hours!
  • Um, if he has is tux, then "everything" is done aside from showing up for the ceremony.  The Best Man isn't required to throw a bachelor party, and he certainly isn't required to help the groom write up things for the ceremony!  

    What you can do is chill out and suggest to your FI that he do the same and stop using his brother's lack of involvement as an excuse for HIM not doing things (like the write up for the homily).

    What she said.
  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Oh joy. More flagging from posters who simply don't agree. @KnotPorscha, is there ever going to be a solution for this?
  • @itzMS Any flags that aren't abuse/spam will be removed (along with the points). Tech is working on a bug in our system, so I won't be able to remove the flags until it is fixed.
  • @itzMS Any flags that aren't abuse/spam will be removed (along with the points). Tech is working on a bug in our system, so I won't be able to remove the flags until it is fixed.

    But are you actually telling posters that that is not how the flag system is supposed to be used? My guess is no since they keep doing if.
  • LiLe422LiLe422 member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited June 2013
    AddieL73 said:
    Put me down for that grand marnier chicken. That sound delicious! I know I wasn't invited, but I know when and where, and I want to come now. 



    She has online rsvp.  Maybe put your name down and see what happens?
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    Wedding Countdown Ticker


  • edited June 2013
    I'm waiting very patiently for TK to have their collective lightbulb 'aha!' moment about flags: make abuse flags invisible to users and love its visible.

    You'd stop receiving complaints about inappropriate flags within days, and could still review flags yourselves. For reals, my free advice to you to make your lives better.

    ETA: the only real reason people care about flags where they didn't before is their big ol wall of shame that neon lights their abuse points. Remove that and people will go back to not caring, exactly as before when we had invisible flags reviewed by mods.

    @KnotPorscha
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • LiLe422 said:
    AddieL73 said:
    Put me down for that grand marnier chicken. That sound delicious! I know I wasn't invited, but I know when and where, and I want to come now. 



    She has online rsvp.  Maybe put your name down and see what happens?
    So tempting.....but I don't know if I could be that obnoxious!  

    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • All this aside, OP, you seriously need to change your screen name and make your wedding website private. After PP pointed it out, I googled it just because it freaked me out and I found it really easily.



    Anniversary
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