Wedding Party

Too many kids in the Wedding?

We are having our wedding June 7th 2014 outside at a park and I am trying to put together our wedding party.
I have chosen 4 bridemaids (my sister, 2 best friends, *mary & *jill, and my cousin) and 1 jr bridesmaid (the daughter of *mary). 
My sister has 2 young kids, a boy- 2yrs and a girl- 11mo. 
Mary has 4 kids, Boy- 9mos, Boy- 3yrs, Girl- 5yr, Girl-12
My cousin has a Girl- 5yrs

(My Fiance does not have any children or any siblings to include in the wedding.)

So now all the numbers are out lol This is how I was going to include everyone because the are really close to me and could not picture my day without them. 

4 bridesmaids ( No MOH because I just can not choose one person) 
1 jr bridesmaid (12 yr old)
2 flower girls ( the 2 five yr olds) 
2 ring bearers ( the 2 & 3 yr olds)
then have the babies ( 9mo & 11mos) in a wooden wagon with "Here Comes the Bride" on the back being pulled by the jr bridesmaid.  

Is this too many children? I figured kids are unpredictable so having more could come in handy if one backs out.  


As far as the groomsmen, my fiance has his best friend and his dad. He does not have one else that he is really close to. What could be other ideas for 2 other groomsmen or do we need the same GMs as BMs? Another question, who does he choose to be the best man? He is closer to his best friend than his dad.  

Any advice or suggests? 

-Thanks! 

Re: Too many kids in the Wedding?

  • amalamaamalama member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited June 2013
    No you don't need the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, I have 4 on his side and 5 on mine. He chooses whoever he wants as best man or just have both be groomsman. If he's closer to his best friend than I would guess he would rather have him.

    As far as the kids, I am definitely not one to tell you it's too many (we're having all of our nieces and nephews). But, I am going into that completely aware that who knows what will actually happen that day. They all get nice outfits and presents and if they want to walk down the aisle they will. We had them all because they all (well all that are old enough) wanted to be in it and they are as important to us as our bridesmaids and groomsmen, not just because we wanted some kids to look cute for the ceremony. I know you said something similar, I just wanted to point that out because you mentioned having "backups". My advice would be to only include that many kids (especially that young) if you are okay with whatever happens, all walking down, none walking down, someone having a fit in the middle of it, anything. Oh and I am not a big fan of the wagon thing, but that might just be personal preference. Our littlest niece (the only one not old enough to walk) is wearing something matching (her mom's choice, we didn't require it) and will probably be carried down the aisle with one of her parents (they are both in the wedding party too).
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  • Infants do not belong in weddings, especially in a wagon. They could fall out and be hurt. Aside from interrupting your wedding day, I'm sure you don't want these babies getting injured.

    I know no 12-year-olds who want to be called 'junior' anything. I'm sure she will be much happier as a bridesmaid.

    Other than that, just be aware and okay with the fact that the younger children in particular might not make it down the aisle without having a meltdown. If they are too young to tell you in a full sentence what their role in the wedding is, IMO they're too young to be in it.

    For the record, my cousin is getting married in a little less than 6 months and having around 10 kids in the wedding. I think she's nuts, but they're all going to be at least 3-4 years old, and the oldest are 10-11. And she's well aware some of them might refuse to cooperate, and does not feel it will ruin her wedding if they do.
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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited June 2013

    You have a year before your wedding. I would wait and pick your BP in 3-4 months.

    I would not use the infants in the wedding. And nix the sign, everyone knows the bride is coming.

    Make the Jr BM a regular BM. There isnt a difference between the two.

    Please dont have your fi randomly select people to stand up with him to make even sides. Let him pick his nearest and dearest and leave it at that.

    Also, can you afford to buy gifts for all these people? including the children? It is something  to consider before picking a large BP.

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  • The babies would be in some kind of seat with a buckle. I def would not want them to get hurt. I am also know what could happen with all the kids and cool with that. I will not make they walk or even be in the wedding if they don't want to. They ya'll can talk besides the babies, so I will just go with the flow depending on how the kids are that morning. Thanks! 
  • AddieL73 said:

    It's my personal belief that babies do not belong in weddings. Unless they can get themselves down the aisle on their own, I feel they are too young and are just being used as props. 





    Seconded. At that age, I think they will be very restless and miserable buckled into anything. I have also not encountered a wagon seat safe for that age group, though it may exist.

    The rest of your plan sounds fine, as long as you're willing to roll with the punches on the ring bearers. Definitely don't have your FI ask people he's less close to, uneven sides are fine!
  • I personally do not like the wagon idea.  And what are you going to do with the wagon once it gets to the front? Are the kids going to sit in it for the whole ceremony?  Are they going to climb out and run around?  The kids may be better off staying with their family members during the ceremony.  In case they have a meltdown, someone can easily escort them out, instead of making a scene at the alter while you're saying your vows.  It just sounds like a lot of work (buying outfits, making a sign, finding a wagon, buying a gift for them) for a 10 second walk up the aisle. 

    And ditto what other people have said about the jr bridesmaid... just make her a regular bridesmaid.   

  • You don't have to "include" every member of your family in the wedding party.

    Please don't put the infants in it.  They are not old enough to understand what's going on, and babies don't handle breaks in their routines well.  They might have meltdowns, and if they're in the wedding party, that's going to delay your ceremony while someone whisks them out. 

    Also, lose the wagon and the sign.  A child who can't get down the aisle and back on his or her own is just too young to be in a wedding.  Wagons have to be pulled up and down the aisle by someone, they can cause damage to the floor or runner, and the sign is unnecessary and at least for me, it doesn't come off in a positive light, just as striving too hard to be "cute" without succeeding.

    And finally, ditch the "junior" bridesmaid title and just have this girl as a regular bridesmaid, a reader, or a guest.  All are perfectly okay.
  • Thanks everyone! I'll just make the junior bridesmaid, either a bridesmaid or something else within the wedding. I may rethink the babies although their parents are going to be the wedding which would mean someone else would have to worry about taking care of them. I thought the wagon idea was cute though and because it is outside I would not have worry with mess the floor up, but like mentioned where would I put it. Ya'll have given me many things to think about and I plenty of time to make up my mind.  
  • My first suggestion is to sleep on this for many months, you def. have time. I think there's just way too many kids involved here.

    I agree with Retread, just being at the wedding is a position of honor.  I mean that truly. I don't want kids at my wedding at all, so you're being generous to invite them.

    I would choose 1 flower girl and 1 ring bearer and no babies.

    How about Mary's 5 year old for FG and Your Sister's 2 year old for RB? Scratch the Jr. BM.

    Any more than that and you're going to have a little circus parade in the aisle that will just be a spectacle, IMHO.

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  • lifeonthehilllifeonthehill member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited June 2013

    Did I miss something? If you re aving this wedding in one years time wont these kids be a year older? Making these infants 23 and 21 months?

    If I am wrong then I agree with PP that leaving the babies out would be best. Kepp your FG and RB if you would like. I have 3 FG. They are 7,7,9 in age.

    Edited: I cant do math this morning.

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  • Did I miss something? If you re aving this wedding in one years time wont these kids be a year older? Making these infants 23 and 21 months?

    If I am wrong then I agree with PP that leaving the babies out would be best. Kepp your FG and RB if you would like. I have 3 FG. They are 7,7,9 in age.

    Edited: I cant do math this morning.

    Even 23- and 21-month-olds are too young to be in a wedding in any capacity other than "guest."  That's still under 2 years, and I wouldn't have anyone younger than at least 3 in it.
  • AJ4ever08 said:
    Thanks everyone! I'll just make the junior bridesmaid, either a bridesmaid or something else within the wedding. I may rethink the babies although their parents are going to be the wedding which would mean someone else would have to worry about taking care of them. I thought the wagon idea was cute though and because it is outside I would not have worry with mess the floor up, but like mentioned where would I put it. Ya'll have given me many things to think about and I plenty of time to make up my mind.  

    Yay! But just let her be a bridesmaid. She'll be thrilled to be included with the older girls.
  • All the ages are how old the kids will be when we have the wedding. 
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