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I'm sorry for any snarky thought I've had that is wedding related...

Before getting engaged I would read through a lot of these posts and have a lot of snarky, snippy comments run through my head about how silly the dilemma was.

If you don't want to invite your cousins, don't.  If you want a bar, have a bar as long as the guests aren't paying for it.  Your family drama is made up, get over it.  And on and on and on...

Now that I am starting to plan a wedding I see where everyone is coming from.  We are debating our guest list and there are some family members I would rather not have but feel I need to invite.  I don't particularly want a DJ and dancing but some of our friends will expect it.  I would like a bruch reception but I worry about "entertaining" our guests without dancing and on and on...

So, I apologize for my snarky thoughts (at least most of them) and I have more sympathy for people now.  Mentally planning a wedding is very different from actually planning a wedding.  
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Re: I'm sorry for any snarky thought I've had that is wedding related...

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    It definitely has made me appreciate (and roll my eyes at some things) others weddings more since I know how much time and energy went into it. 
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    I will never apologize for my snarky thoughts and posts. I'm actively planning my wedding too and have been planning for the last seven months and I will still call people out on their shit without a second thought. People put way too much weight on a single day in their lives -- it would be a lot easier if people gave less shits about their weddings and just rolled with it.
    Oh, some people still need called out on some things...  I just see how brides can take a small detail and turn it into a big major production without realizing what they are doing.  I'm sure I will still have snarky thoughts but I do have a little more sympathy now.
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    I don't think I would ever say anyone's family drama is made up.  I'm guilty of perhaps over-reacting to potential drama; but you can't say it's made up.  You don't know dynamics, history or any of that.

     

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    When I started planning my wedding, and a friend of mine had just had hers a few months prior, we were watching Bridezillas and suddenly we were like "You know... Some of these "bridezillas" really aren't so bad!" xD Granted, MOST of them really are just awful and OTT, but some of them had problems that the show was implying wasn't a big deal or they were being "bitchy" for no reason over, and we were like "No, I totally get why she is upset" even if we would handle the situation differently LOL.
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    I don't think I would ever say anyone's family drama is made up.  I'm guilty of perhaps over-reacting to potential drama; but you can't say it's made up.  You don't know dynamics, history or any of that.

    While I agree that someone's family drama most likey is not made up, I do think some of ladies on these boards who come here with their drame need to learn to either a.) deal with the fact the with money comes strings, b.) turn down any money that may be causing the drama or c.) just plain old stick up for themselves or call their families out on being ridiculous.

    I had my step mother call me from my cousin's house the week after save the dates went out (8 months before the wedding mind you) and tell me that my cousin didn't have a babysitter and she didn't know what she was going to do. So essentially trying to make me feel guilty that the child will not be invited. My response "She has 8 months to find a sitter I don't know why we are having this conversation right now or why it's my issue to begin with."

    And I totally agree with PP, people put WAY to much emphasis on one day. It

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    hordolhordol member
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    I don't think I would ever say anyone's family drama is made up.  I'm guilty of perhaps over-reacting to potential drama; but you can't say it's made up.  You don't know dynamics, history or any of that.

    The way I took the made up drama statement (and OP can correct me if I'm wrong and misinterpreted it) is that certain situations are only dramatic if you let them be. You have control over your emotions. Maybe your aunt is pissed that you didn't invite your 4th cousin twice removed (or whatever) but you can just let her be pissed. You don't have to let her emotions affect yours. If someone is trying to create strife, you have a choice whether or not to give in to their game.
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    hordol said:
    I don't think I would ever say anyone's family drama is made up.  I'm guilty of perhaps over-reacting to potential drama; but you can't say it's made up.  You don't know dynamics, history or any of that.
    The way I took the made up drama statement (and OP can correct me if I'm wrong and misinterpreted it) is that certain situations are only dramatic if you let them be. You have control over your emotions. Maybe your aunt is pissed that you didn't invite your 4th cousin twice removed (or whatever) but you can just let her be pissed. You don't have to let her emotions affect yours. If someone is trying to create strife, you have a choice whether or not to give in to their game.
    That is the point I was trying to make there is a difference between disagreements and DRAMA.  A disagreement does not have to equal drama but a lot of people make it the same thing.  I see where we, as brides, can get caught up in every. little. stinking. detail, but it isn't necessary.  Going through the process now though, I can see how easy it is to buy into the wedding industry hype, even if you are normally a level headed person.
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