Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Wedding planning= opportunities to help FI brush up on etiquette

I've been following these boards, and etiquettehell.com for a while now. FI and I were both raised with instruction in basic manners, proper behavior, etc. It wasn't till after he met me, though, that FI started writing thank you notes again at birthday and Christmas. He has also admitted having no clue about wedding etiquette. We recently had a conversation about planning our wedding that gave me an opportunity to help him brush up on this sort of thing....

FI: Do we have to give so-and-so a plus one? I mean, we want to keep it small....

Me: No. She's not seeing anyone. If she were dating someone, or still with ex-bf, then we would give her that option for her SO. But there's no one, so we should be ok.

FI: Do we have to do a first dance? You know I can't dance...

Me: No. But we do need to go and greet/chat with everyone at least briefly.

FI: Really?

Me: FI, we're inviting less than 50 people. You can chat with family and a few close friends. It won't kill you.

FI: Well, do we do the cake cutting stuff?

Me: Yes, but that is not an opportunity to start a food fight.

FI: I hate being the center of attention. Do we have to open gifts there too?

Me: (nearly drives off the road) NO! Absolutely not! That is extremely tacky, in poor taste, and it's a wedding, not a birthday party. If we were to receive anything, we wait till AFTER the wedding, and we will have a nice box of Thank you notes so we can start writing them immediately!

(Side note: we are not taking our honeymoon till after FI graduates next May, so we will be able to start notes the morning after our wedding)

FI: I have to write some of those too, don't I?

Me: You betcha, sugar lips. Even if we go to Destin for a week, no PF Chang's (his favorite restaurant) or McGuires (another favorite restaurant) for you until we write the notes!

FI: Seriously? No Chang's?

Me: No Chang's.

FI: Can we just elope and not have to do all this?

Me: Elopement will not save you from delayed Chang's gratification.

FI: Dang it! I love you.

Re: Wedding planning= opportunities to help FI brush up on etiquette

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    haha cute. 
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    The last one sounds like something I'd tell Fi, except it would be no new video game.
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    I love E Hell and Hell's Bells!
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    hordolhordol member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Lol, my FI has had many etiquette blunders during this process, too. I have a couple cousins getting married a month or two after us this summer, and I asked him yesterday how much he thought we should spend on the gifts. He said, "Let's wait until after our wedding to see what they gave us." I explained to him why that was rude and he understood and agreed with me, but it just goes to show that good natured people can still be confused about good etiquette.
    image



    PitaPata Dog tickers
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    gmcr78gmcr78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    My FI likes to point out how I'm so "etiquette-obsessed" because of TK and roll his eyes a bit, but when I catch him explaining to his mother that "no, we cannot wait for declines and then invite the B-list because things might change, and that person who first RSVP'd no may be able to come after all" I smile to myself, because he's listening.
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    Both FI and I have learned a lot from this site, especially me. He had wanted to do the traditional head table, cash bar and dollar dance. Thankfully I was able to convince him that those were all bad ideas. The one thing I compromised on was the garter removal/toss. I hate those but it's the least of the bad ideas that FI wanted to do.
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