I've been following these boards, and etiquettehell.com for a while now. FI and I were both raised with instruction in basic manners, proper behavior, etc. It wasn't till after he met me, though, that FI started writing thank you notes again at birthday and Christmas. He has also admitted having no clue about wedding etiquette. We recently had a conversation about planning our wedding that gave me an opportunity to help him brush up on this sort of thing....
FI: Do we have to give so-and-so a plus one? I mean, we want to keep it small....
Me: No. She's not seeing anyone. If she were dating someone, or still with ex-bf, then we would give her that option for her SO. But there's no one, so we should be ok.
FI: Do we have to do a first dance? You know I can't dance...
Me: No. But we do need to go and greet/chat with everyone at least briefly.
FI: Really?
Me: FI, we're inviting less than 50 people. You can chat with family and a few close friends. It won't kill you.
FI: Well, do we do the cake cutting stuff?
Me: Yes, but that is not an opportunity to start a food fight.
FI: I hate being the center of attention. Do we have to open gifts there too?
Me: (nearly drives off the road) NO! Absolutely not! That is extremely tacky, in poor taste, and it's a wedding, not a birthday party. If we were to receive anything, we wait till AFTER the wedding, and we will have a nice box of Thank you notes so we can start writing them immediately!
(Side note: we are not taking our honeymoon till after FI graduates next May, so we will be able to start notes the morning after our wedding)
FI: I have to write some of those too, don't I?
Me: You betcha, sugar lips. Even if we go to Destin for a week, no PF Chang's (his favorite restaurant) or McGuires (another favorite restaurant) for you until we write the notes!
FI: Seriously? No Chang's?
Me: No Chang's.
FI: Can we just elope and not have to do all this?
Me: Elopement will not save you from delayed Chang's gratification.
FI: Dang it! I love you.