Wedding Etiquette Forum

Shower invite list- ok to leave of close OOT guests?

Hi everyone! I am getting addresses together to give to my MOH, who is very generously planning a shower for me and FI. Most of the guests will be local to my hometown, where the shower will be held. I have a few guests who are very close friends, but live 4 and 6 hours away. Is it ok to leave them off the shower invite list? I don't want them to be upset if they find out there was a shower and they weren't invited, but I also don't want anyone feeling obligated to make such a trip to my little hometown just for a shower that will be mostly my close family anyway. Thoughts? Thanks in advance!
Daisypath Wedding tickers

Re: Shower invite list- ok to leave of close OOT guests?

  • If you would like to have them there if they could and wanted to attend, then invite them. Honestly, I do not understand this trend of everyone thinking they shouldn't invite people to things for fear they will feel obligated to attend or send a gift. People know it's an invitation and not a subpoena and that they are not obligated in any way. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Thanks, Addie! I know what you mean. I have always kind of been that way regarding inviting people to events. I will go ahead and send the addresses along!
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited July 2013
    Yes, do!

    And I hope I didn't sound snarky in my response b/c I didn't mean it that way. I am just really baffled lately b/c so many brides are constantly asking similar questions regarding whether or not to invite people or how to let people know gifts are not expected or that it's ok if they can't come, etc. It's like everyone thinks they have to walk on eggshells or make announcements and signs or offer explanations about this stuff. For me, it's starting to rank right up there with the multiple receptions to accommodate people who can't (or won't) travel.




     
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • No snark detected here! I usually agree with what you have to say when I do have time to read the boards and/or post, whether I mention it or not. I agree with you on the signs, explanations, multiple receptions, etc. That's why I came here to ask and get honest feedback- I knew I was "doing it again."

    The thing is, I'm fine with telling other people not to worry about stuff like this. My sister declined a baby shower prior to the birth of her daughter, but later on I organized a "meet the baby" family get-together, which was honestly more of an excuse to get everyone together and have cake (it went over wonderfully). She was so concerned that people needed to know that gifts were not expected. I must have said "Ot's not a shower, people will know- and if they do bring gifts, you accept them gratefully" until I was blue in the face! I guess some of us are better at giving advice than taking our own :)

    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • Hi! I would actually invite them, bc a good friend of mine who lives across the country told me she was really hurt that she wasn't invited to the shower - it made her feel out of the loop about the wedding..... just my experience!
  • I live about 9 hours away from where I grew up.  My friends where I live now threw a shower and I wasn't sure whether to invite a couple of my good friends that still live in my hometown for exactly those reasons (fear that they would feel obligated to try to come or obligated to get a gift).  Well, they were invited and both friends mentioned how happy they were to be included, even though they couldn't make it, and neither sent a gift. So yeah, those fears really are silly.
  • AddieL73 said:
    Yes, do!

    And I hope I didn't sound snarky in my response b/c I didn't mean it that way. I am just really baffled lately b/c so many brides are constantly asking similar questions regarding whether or not to invite people or how to let people know gifts are not expected or that it's ok if they can't come, etc. It's like everyone thinks they have to walk on eggshells or make announcements and signs or offer explanations about this stuff. For me, it's starting to rank right up there with the multiple receptions to accommodate people who can't (or won't) travel.




     
    Cosigned Jen4948.  It really surprises me how people feel the need to give so many heads-up.  People have become, or are being perceived as have become, so entitled lately that it's scary.
  • Thanks everyone!
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards