Wedding Etiquette Forum

Please help me!

Hey, I am a long time lurker of The Knot. I know this is going to sound insane, but I would love some advice. My cousin is getting married this Nov and I'm so happy for her. But I'm afraid my brother might ruin it. It all started when he and some of his friends visit them during spring break. Apparently they all got along really well and my Uncle Gerry said that my brother can invite his friends to my cousin's wedding. I thought that was nice of my uncle but I'm afraid that my brother was given an inch and has taken a mile. He keeps inviting ALL of his friends, and every time I ask him if Brooke knows this, he always says that Uncle Gerry said he could. Its even worse because all of my dad's side of the family including Brooke live in Florida. So I don't want all of nicks friends to buy airplane tickets and fly all the way to Florida just to be turned away. And I don't want my cousin to be unhappy and I don't know if she will like inviting a bunch of nick's friends that she doesn't even know. Plus nick and his friends are all college students and they aren't really rolling around in money. Plus on top of all of this, nick keeps saying he is going to wear a camouflage suit to her wedding. Brooke has told me she wants a classy wedding so I'm not sure how she will react with that. My brother's excuse is that all of our family is "redneck" so it will be fine. While Uncle Gerry and his family is country I've never even seen any of them wear camouflage!  Brooke and I aren't extremely close but when I visit we always hang out at least once and I really like her. Is there anyway I can prevent my brother from being "THAT" cousin you always heard about that ruins weddings? Any advice is wanted! Thanks for reading my short novel! 
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Re: Please help me!

  • Ditto Lia. Mention to Brooke that your brother's invitees are climbing so she can tell him and her father to stop. Also, invitations haven't gone out yet, so she can just tell your brother to tell his friends, "Sorry. Ain't happenin'." 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • ok thanks guys! I thought I should do that, but I wasn't sure if it was my place to say something
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  • I think it's entirely possible that the Uncle hasn't told the bride that he's told your brother to invite his friends. I also think that Uncle is thinking a friend or two, not his entire fraternity or whatever.  Brother is taking things way too far.  If I was the bride, I would really appreciate the heads up so I could handle it before it gets out of hand. Because, if I didn't know about it and they all showed up at the wedding, I would be so pissed off I'd be spitting nails.
  • I agree with PPs.  Also, I find it a little odd that large numbers of your brother's friends are wanting to fly to Florida for a wedding of a complete stranger.  I mean, maybe they are just looking at it as a vacation with free food and beer for a night, but it still seems weird.  I mean, if one of my friends was like, "Hey, let's get a group together and go to my cousin's wedding in Florida", I would think it was really random.
  • haha well they are kinda a party crowd, he is actually in a frat. And there is going to be an open bar, so I'm guessing thats why a lot of them want to go.
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  • thanks everyone! I think I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to wait for invitations to go out and hopefully when not all of nick's friends don't get an invite they will get the hint. If they still think they can come, then I'll tell my cousin and see what she says. Thanks again!
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  • I'd definitely speak up, but honestly if the friends spend money on travel and accommodation without being invited, especially if they don't know the couple getting married, that's no one's fault but their own. So dumb. And I wouldn't feel bad for them either.
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