Wedding Etiquette Forum

Intimate Ceremony - Should I still have a reception?

Hello!
My SO and I have decided to have a short ceremony on a hot air balloon field and then jump into a hot air balloon and go for a ride as newlyweds! The ceremony will only have about 11 people there (immediate family and a couple close friends) due to the location and the policies (no chairs allowed, no PA system - everyone will just stand around us so we don't want 40 people standing around trying to hear us UNLESS you think that is a fine idea, I would just feel like that many people would be uncomfortable and would have trouble hearing us as i said). Anyway... there are still several people I want to celebrate with afterwards, is it okay to host a small reception with food and drinks for the other 30 people that I have in mind (aunt uncles cousins and some more friends)? I would like to eat, drink, and be merry with these people because I care about them! (we are not asking for gifts or registering anywhere)
so basically I have two options:
1. invite about 40 people to a standing only ceremony (ceremony would last 10 min probably but people would most likely be there for at least 30 min - do you think people will be uncomfortable/have trouble hearing?) and host a reception afterwards for everyone 
OR 
2. keep it very small at the ceremony and host a reception for about 40 guests later that evening?

thanks :D sorry for the rambling or if there is any confusion.

Re: Intimate Ceremony - Should I still have a reception?

  • edited July 2013
    - provide seating
    - host your guests to thank them for attending (reception - can be simple)
    - don't have a gap (give them a cocktail hour while you're on the ride)

    ETA What if you did the ceremony/reception somewhere else and did the balloon ride after your send off?
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  • We don't have the money for a different location, this is within our budget and seating is not allowed. personally I prefer a much smaller ceremony (so I prefer option 2) I just wasn't sure if people would be upset if they couldn't come to the ceremony and were only invited to the reception
    We would have a cocktail hour during the ride - it would be just like the time dedicated for photographs between ceremony and reception at other weddings I've been to (the ride is about 45 min)
  • thanks guys :)

  • No matter how many people attend the ceremony, you need to have seating for everyone. If the venue doesn't allow that, then you need a new venue.  Hay bales covered in blankets won't damage grass and are fine for a short ceremony.

    A reception can be as simple as cake and coffee after the ceremony, so long as it's not at a mealtime.  You do need to do something for those that show up. Cake and coffee, lunch at a restaurant, pizza and beer at the venue, there are lots of things you can do that are still proper.

    It's technically OK to invite people to the reception only, but I'm in the camp that you should really invite everyone to everything, just decide how many people you want in total. For me the ceremony is the important part, and if I don't get to see that, I don't usually choose to attend the reception.
  • Etiquette-wise it's okay to have a private ceremony followed by a reception.
    I don't get it, though. If the reception is a thank you to the guests for coming to the ceremony, then shouldn't you be inviting them to both?

    Whatevs. I honestly think you should have a butt for every seat, even just 11 people.
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  • the reception is so i can celebrate with people because I want a private ceremony 
  • You could just have the ceremony be the two of you with an officiant. Then have the reception later that day.
  • If you want a private ceremony at this location, then you can't invite anyone.  Because you have to have seats for everyone invited, and if they won't let you have seats, then it's not a good place to invite anyone to.
  • thanks guys - we will most likely do a sit down dinner with only ceremony guests and not hold a reception for a bigger group. thanks

  • My parents wanted to do the hot air balloon thing, but my grandma threw a fit and they ended up having a full Catholic mass instead.  Although it's really against etiquette, I understand the difficulty for providing seating near a hot air balloon (my parents didn't just want to get married in a balloon for the hell of it, they crewed the whole time they were dating and have been doing it now for over 30 years, so I grew up doing it as well), so I'd advise you keep the ceremony as small and quick as possible.  I'd still look into the hay bale option if possible though.

    For the reception...what time are you doing your ceremony?  Where I live, balloons typically fly at sunrise, and we always do a breakfast tailgate afterwards with mimosas.  If that's the case, I would keep it limited to the people that attend the ceremony.  If it's later in the day, then you can host a larger reception for extended family, but you still need to be mindful of a gap for those that attended the ceremony (as in, don't have one).
  • My mom dad sister as well as my groom's mom dad brother and sister, as well as my two invited friends are fine with standing (these are the people that will be there).... but thank you for the suggestions regarding the ceremony, even though i was asking about the reception.
  • beardove said:
    Hello!
    My SO and I have decided to have a short ceremony on a hot air balloon field and then jump into a hot air balloon and go for a ride as newlyweds! The ceremony will only have about 11 people there (immediate family and a couple close friends) due to the location and the policies (no chairs allowed, no PA system - everyone will just stand around us so we don't want 40 people standing around trying to hear us UNLESS you think that is a fine idea, I would just feel like that many people would be uncomfortable and would have trouble hearing us as i said). Anyway... there are still several people I want to celebrate with afterwards, is it okay to host a small reception with food and drinks for the other 30 people that I have in mind (aunt uncles cousins and some more friends)? I would like to eat, drink, and be merry with these people because I care about them! (we are not asking for gifts or registering anywhere)
    so basically I have two options:
    1. invite about 40 people to a standing only ceremony (ceremony would last 10 min probably but people would most likely be there for at least 30 min - do you think people will be uncomfortable/have trouble hearing?) and host a reception afterwards for everyone 
    OR 
    2. keep it very small at the ceremony and host a reception for about 40 guests later that evening?

    thanks :D sorry for the rambling or if there is any confusion.
    Option one is not an option.

    It is fine to invite people to the reception only, especially if the ceremony is very private. But, what will everyone at the ceremony do while you have your hot air balloon ride?
    I disagree.  I don't think it's fine to have a private ceremony with 11 people, then invite another 20-30 other people to just a reception.  
    I agree with this.  I would say either invite all 40 people to the ceremony and reception, or just invite the 11 people to the ceremony and reception.
  • beardove said:
    thanks guys - we will most likely do a sit down dinner with only ceremony guests and not hold a reception for a bigger group. thanks

    I think this a good plan! To make sure there is seating, could you see if the hot air balloon field will let you put down some straw bales with blankets on them for seating?
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