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s/o no shows...

Did yours send a card/gift?

We had 4 no shows for the wedding, one was DH's friend and his gf and the friend texted him like 2 days before the wedding just saying "something came up with work can't come to the wedding." Never heard anything else, no card, no gift, no apology. The friend was only coming from about 3 hours away.

The other 2 were my dad's friend and his wife. The guy is kind of a flake in general and my mom was skeptical when he RSVP'd yes so she kept saying to him, "are you sure you're going to come?" and he said yes and since he is a chef he even added "I know how expensive these dinners are." Well they didn't show. I don't even remember what the excuse was, I think it was just something generic. No card, no gift.

I didn't invite people to the wedding for the gifts, but it just seems overly rude to me to spend the money on people who RSVP yes and then not even get so much as a card from them. Some acknowledgement of your wedding would be nice.

I have another friend who bailed on me as my photog 6 months before the wedding since he brother decided to get married the same day. I got screwed over there but let it go. Then she didn't come to my shower or bachelorette party or obviously the wedding and I never got anything from her either. I haven't even gotten so much as a personalized e-mail from her, just some mass e-mails she sends out to people.

Wow, I think this turned into a vent more than I anticipated it to. I just find it hard to believe that people can RSVP yes to a wedding and then just completely blow it off. I would never do something like that. I understand that for some people, things come up, but how hard is it to at least just send a card? Geez.
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Re: s/o no shows...

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    jrsygrl10jrsygrl10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    lemme think.

    the couple that didnt show on DH's side did send a card & gift. apparently the husband threw his back out and was laid up for a few days.

    my college roomate didn't show, she had been in the hospital for weeks prior and couldn't contact me. she sent a card & gift.

    and my count was off, we had 8 no show's, not 7. the others did not send cards or gifts, or even bother to contact me after the wedding. i was really miffed about 2 couples that didn't show up on my side-they were coworkers from the office i had worked in last and we were pretty close. they both text me the day before about how excited they were to attend and see me. i had them sitting at a table together, so with them not there the table was so obviously bare (and right in front of our sweetheart table).

    i think it bothered me so much because if those people had just said no in the first place, it would have decreased the table numbers by 2. and that stuff adds up! 2 CP's not needed, 2 table clothes down, 4 napkins down, 8 glasses of champagne not charged, 8 entree's that didn't have to be paid for. i figure that we wasted almost 1k on the 8 people that didn't show up and didn't bother to let us know ahead of time. what can you do though...sh!t happens. and i realize that some of them had real issues that totally trump any wedding.
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    edited December 2011
    Ugh, I am right there with you, K- didn't get any cards or gifts from the no-shows. Not that I expected to... I'm just more irritated that they RSVPed yes, and didn't show.

    Here is my vent:I am esp. mad at my cousin, who was so excited for my wedding and was going to read. She wasn't at rehearsal, so maybe that should have been a red flag. I was so busy though, I didn't even think to call her. My other cousin (her sister) didn't know where she was. I figured she'd show up the next day... well, about 15 min. before the ceremony starts, my other cousin comes in and tells me cousin that was going to read is not coming. Thankfully the other scheduled reader took over with no problem. I didn't have email access at the time, so when I finally checked my email when we returned from our HM, I saw that she had emailed me about half an hour before rehearsal saying she couldn't come b/c of "personal reasons." I wrote back saying that I hoped she was ok, but that emailing me was not acceptable. Never heard back from her! Not that we keep in touch a lot, but no further explanation provided, no "I'm sorry", etc. Still pisses me off to this day!!
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    jrsygrl10jrsygrl10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    oh, and i agree about people not bringing a card to the wedding. we had a couple of guests do that.....and they were family. it's really irritating when the same people that did not even bother to bring a card then expected a baby shower gift from us a few months later. i sent them a gift, but never received a thank you card/email/phone call/nada. GOOD GRIEF!
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    LaFemmeRousseLaFemmeRousse member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This is really interesting (and annoying!).  FI was wondering just last night if we should expect to have no-shows and I wasn't really sure what to tell him.
    7.17.10

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    edited December 2011
    I would think more times than not you're going to have at least someone not show up for whatever reason.
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    jrsygrl10jrsygrl10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i agree. i did not think that any one of our guests would be a no show (i suppose i hold our friends/family to high standards?!), so when we got to the reception and i saw 8 candles (our escort cards) still sitting there...i almost flew off the handle. my MOH had already seen them and was trying to distract me and position herself in front of them before i noticed them...lol.

    in hindsight, i wish i had knocked at least 3 off of our final count. they can always make more. if only i had taken the event planning course BEFORE the wedding! hindsight is 20/20!
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    CLW102409CLW102409 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I had 11 no shows, no explanation, no nothing.  Not that I care anymore about it.  What really made me mad was that I invited my uncles ex-wife, this was a women that has been a part of my life for 30 years.  She was one of the first people that rsvp'd with a note saying how happy she was to be invited and can't wait to see me walk down the aisle, etc. etc.  So just before we were all announced to walk into the reception, I asked my sister if she saw our aunt, she then told me (from what my cousin told her) is that my uncle made a huge deal about her being invited and how this wasn't her family anymore.  I even went as far as asking my cousin if it would've been an issues and she ensured me that they are all friends and get along great.  My aunt and her friend were going to be sitting at a table not even near my uncle.  I just found it upsetting that he would take it upon himself to uninvite someone to my wedding.  It still ticks me off.  oh well!!
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    JamieK1882JamieK1882 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I haven't had my wedding yet, but I had this occur for my shower. It ticked me off because we had a pretty expensive, sit-down luncheon at a country club and people started telling me the day before and even the day OF they weren't coming.
    However, I do have to say that all of them except one sent a gift with someone else so that was nice.

    FI is super annoyed right now because I invited all the wive's/girlfriends of his groomsmen (who I am also friends with). Three of them didnt' come and didnt send gifts. I honestly wasn't surprised but he was super fired up, especially because for all three of them he was in their wedidng party, sent wedding adn shower gifts (they had the guy/girl joint shower) adn we've always sent baby gifts. Honestly, I'm like whatever but some people are just like that.
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    jrsygrl10jrsygrl10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    half of the GM's wives showed up, the other half did not.. none of them let me know ahead of time that they couldn't make it for one reason or another..so i assumed they would all be there. there were only 4 GM's, but there is a big group of boys that are all close to DH so naturally i invited all of the wives. none showed. none sent cards. none sent messages to say sorry for not being able to attend. *shrug* i'm not really friends with any of them anyways.
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    edited December 2011
    Only one set of our no shows sent a gift and I think that was because they had sent a gift upon receiving a wedding invitation. It really annoys me when people say , "oh I have a card for you back home I keep meaning to send" then of course you've never gotten it. DH's boss was like that, he made DH's life living hell for a year then went off and left company high and dry. Beyond annoying/rude/etc. Speaking of beyond annoying, I sent a wedding gift with regrets to a sunday afternoon wedding 7 hrs away 4 days after bar exam and I got a thank you written on my fb wall with gee how come you're so busy...I've only talked to this girl a few times since we graduated high school- you're lucky you got a $100 gift- at least spend 44 cents properly thanking me!!! Good riddance if she thinks fb is an appropriate forum. Also, idk whoasked about pre saying fewer people to the facility, but we did do that. We said 5 fewer, assuming some of DH's frat bros wouldn't bring dates like they rsvp'd for and there might be some snow issues. Wish I would have said 10!
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