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Starting to Stress

I'm now under 80 days and just got my life back from directing our musical and headed into full wedding mode with a million questions and things to finish. Here are my top 3 right now:

1. I just got obsessed with preserving my bouquet. Did anybody do this and have a good experience? I found a company called Freeze Frame It out of OH that looks like they do really  nice work.

2. We don't have money in our budget for fancy transportation (ie--limo) but we also don't have a car that will hold me and my big dress. Did anybody rent a car for the day? Any cheap and creative ideas?

3. My FMIL invited a ton of people from the church to the wedding (it's FI's church).
My FI says that most of them will only come to the ceremony and not the reception. I don't want to end up paying for a bunch of people who don't show up, so how can I word the RSVP to get an accurate count? (We're doing a buffet, so I can't use a meal choice.)

TIA!

Re: Starting to Stress

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    edited December 2011
    I had a giant dress and was in the middle of nowhere new york - so to save money and avoid headaches, we just borrowed my grandparent's fleetwod cadiallac.  Renting a large car, or a large suv would work just fine!  See my bio to get an idea of how large my gown was. 
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    edited December 2011
    Hmm, not sure about your first question...I did not preserve my bouquet.

    For transporation, Your Designated Driver is really cheap - only about 400 bucks! Or I guess you could rent a car from a rental place?

    for your last question, this seems weird. So people who are invited to the reception are only going to go to the ceremony? I am guessing they will say they aren't coming to the reception on the response card. Really, the response card is only for the reception, not the ceremony right?

    I suppose you could do a ceremony only line, but it just seems strange to me.

    Good luck.
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    Dave & Jennifer 10.18.08
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    edited December 2011
    1. I highly recommend Petal A Memory in Monroeville. The business is just taking off, but Michele was so great to work with. This isn't whole bouquet preservation though. What she does is dry out your flowers naturally, then she mats them in picture frames and collages (you get to bring your own frame/collage). It was $90 I believe for my collage- I love it! Here is her website:

    http://www.petalamemory.com/

    I have pics of the frame in my bio, I believe under "Vendor Reviews."

    2. No experience with, but I agree about just renting an SUV.

    3. So you sent invitations to these church people? If you sent invitations with an RSVP card, to me that means they are invited to both the ceremony and reception. Like Jennybee said, I think they'll just decline on the RVSP card. I had some people come to my ceremony from my church, but not to the reception. They didn't get invitations, however. I'm not sure there's a way to check on which part they are coming to besides going by the RSVP card...
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    LaFemmeRousseLaFemmeRousse member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No help on your first two questions, sorry!

    As for the third- I agree that this is a little weird.  How did your FMIL invite them already?  Do you mean that she put them on your invitation list?  You definitely can't plan on them not showing up for the reception if they are receiving an invitation, no matter what your FMIL says.  I suppose you could do separate RSVP lines on the response cards for ceremony and reception, but for anyone not in this select church group, I think it would look strange to have to RSVP for each event separately, especially since as PP have said, the response card is technically responding for the reception.

    Is it possible for your FMIL to invite these people through word of mouth instead of by invitation if she only wants them to attend the ceremony?
    7.17.10

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    jrsygrl10jrsygrl10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    a tip i learned from an event planning course that i just finished up with (and a tip i wish i had thought to do):
    caterers/restaurants can always always increase their numbers, but cannot decrease. normal practice for event planners is to take the final count and knock it down by about 5-7ppl and turn that number in to the caterer. if more people are added, the caterer can increase the food. for buffet dinner's caterers have 1.5 portions for each person, so there is always more than one portion per person as it stands.

    but i agree-it seems weird that your FMIL invited people that would only show up to the ceremony. maybe you could make the verbage on your response card a bit more clear so that people are aware that they are RSVP'ing to the reception and not the ceremony?
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    concerto47concerto47 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know it's bizarre. I have no problem with people coming to the wedding (though his church is small and hopefully everyone fits!) as it is in a public place. All the church people on the list ARE invited to the reception, I just really don't want to waste money  on paying for people who don't show up. I've just never heard of someone being invited to a wedding then not attending the ceremony except for some random situation. FI and FMIL both seem to feel this will be very common.  ????
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    LaFemmeRousseLaFemmeRousse member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ok so I've been googling to figure out if I can find any other suggestions or advice for you.  It sounds like you're definitely doing it right by inviting them to both events, even if your FMIL think they won't come, because apparently it's improper etiquette to invite people only to the ceremony but not the reception.  I also found this on the Wedding Bee boards:

    "There really isn't a polite way to invite guests to a wedding and then inform them that they will not be invited to the reception. All wedding guests invited to the ceremony must be invited to the reception.  When I receive an invitation to a wedding, I just automatically assume I'm invited to the reception!

    HOWEVER, I have read that the only time it's okay to have a wedding & not invite all the guests to the reception ais an "open church" wedding. This is where you'd post an invitation in your congregation & anyone could come watch your nuptials. It is usually followed up with a small cake & punch reception with those members so you can spend a few moments together.  Your situation could fit this requirement, but etiquette does state that the reception is to be a small, family only event."

     

    Unfortunately, I haven't found anything about how to word responses for ceremony and reception separately on an invitation.  Maybe just see how they reply and then ask your FMIL to ask in person if they will be attending both events?

     

    Is it in your budget for ALL of these people to attend the reception if they do end up doing so?

    7.17.10

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