no rings

Chickadee2010

My FI and I aren't doing the ring exchange. We have a nephew that wants to be the "ring bearer" though and would love some ideas of what he could do instead.

I would also love to hear if anyone else has skipped the exchange, or thoughts as to what we could put in it's place in the ceremony. Perhaps another reading? Something more unique? Ideas appreciated!

Thanks!

aerinpegadrak

Have you talked to your officiant about something you could do instead of a ring exchange?  They might have some ideas, especially if you're getting married at a church where some of the alternatives might be prohibited.

The ring bearer very rarely carries the real rings anyway.  He can carry a pillow, a book, a bowl, a toy...  Anything he's comfortable with.  His only real job is to look cute.

Da0419

Are you not having a church ceremony?  The ring exchange is an integral part of the wedding ceremony, so I guess I'm kind of confused.  It symbolizes the marriage covenant between God and the couple.  If you are getting married in the church, I would suggest expressing your ideas to the officiant.  I don't want to sound stuffy or anything, I guess I've just never heard of anyone not doing the ring thing.  Good luck though!

Chickadee2010

No, we're not getting married in the church. My engagement ring is vintage and unique and would be hard to match with a band. My FI really doesn't like jewellery and will never wear his ring so we thought we would just skip it. People will notice that part is missing I'm sure, so I just wanted some ideas about how to make the ceremony as seamless as possible and maybe to know I'm not the only one in history that isn't doing it!

aerinpegadrak

You could exchange another small trinket other than the rings.  For me, the point of having a wedding ring is having something tangible that represents your marriage.  That something tangible can easily be something with more meaning to you.  Read a few ceremony texts that have the ring exchange, look for the symbolism that the ring holds, and transfer that symbolism to something more relevant to you.

You could also look into a handfasting, it's a tradition that predates the ring exchange in many cultures.  Or you could just put extra focus on your vows, since that's really the important part.

kathjack95

My friend had a similar situation with a unique e-ring that wouldn't match with a band, so they used it as her wedding ring and her DH "re-placed" it on her hand during the ceremony. It's totally okay that your FH doesn't want a ring. Makes the marriage no less binding.

Good luck.

Kathleen

Chickadee2010

Thanks, lots of great ideas! Never thought about exchanging another object, really like that.

[Deleted User]

Well, along with the other ideas [because I'm fairly clueless about what to do instead of a ring exchange] but maybe an exchange of gifts for the ceremony would also work out. Either that, or just a special sort of ritual that symbolizes some sort of binding. Sorry, not much help

Da0419

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_rings-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:31fcd82c-e7e6-43c1-a17d-70dfbdfd847bPost:d2d9b839-276a-4f25-abb9-2a747b34c7a6">Re: no rings</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: no rings : Actually, wedding rings are no more "Christian" than Unity Candles.  And the idea of an exchange is relatively new, since it used to be just the woman who wore a ring, as a sign of being another man's property.  Therefore, althought it is a bit unusual, no church has a religious basis to "require" ring exchange in a wedding.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]


Actually, the exchange of rings to seal an agreement has been handed down since Roman times and has become a symbol of the covenant of marriage in the church.

"<strong>Exchanging Rings - (Tradition)</strong>

The exchanging of rings for the sealing of an important agreement has been handed down through our ancestors since recorded time. It is understandable that the exchange of rings would become the symbol of a covenant made between God and the married couple.

Only the location of the ring has varied through the centuries. At different times through history the ring has been directed to be placed on the thumb, the second and third finger then later on to the fourth finger.

Modern folklore dictates that ring is worn on the third finger of the left hand because it is follows a direct artery to the heart. Although this is a very romantic explanation modern anatomists can clearly demonstrate this is not true.

Instead the modern day placement of the ring has a very practical explanation. The left hand was considered less used and the third finger is not any less or more used than any of the other fingers but it cannot be extended comfortably with out the use of the other fingers, making the third finger more convenient for the use of ornaments.

Sorry ladies this is not a very romantic justification, but it is practical."

The Unity candle, on the other hand, is a tradition that is fairly new:

<strong>"The Unity Candle Ceremony - (Custom)</strong>

The introduction of the lighting of a Unity Candle into the marriage celebration is a new ritual being requested by couples for inclusion in their Catholic Weddings. Although this practice is a lovely expression of unity, it does not have its origin in the traditions of the Catholic Faith. Unification ceremonies of this type first started appearing about ten years ago in non-religious weddings as a way of expressing unity of the couple. It can signify the joining of their families and also be used as a way to include children from previous marriages." (<a href="http://www.catholicbrides.com" rel="nofollow">www.catholicbrides.com</a>)

...anyways, back to the matter at hand, I think the exchange of another small token would be a nice substitute.  I can understand that a vintage ring would be difficult to match and that something else may take away from the uniqueness of the ring.  I found this article on offbeatbride.com that you might find useful:

<a href="http://offbeatbride.com/2007/02/no-ring-wedding-ceremony" rel="nofollow">http://offbeatbride.com/2007/02/no-ring-wedding-ceremony</a>

I kind of like the idea of exchanging rings for the ceremony and then opening one of them and linking them together.  Then you could put it in a special place to remind you two of the linking of your lives.