NWR: Couples Vacation Etiquette RSVP

CClarkson09

Hey, all. So I'm a long-time lurker around these boards and I have an etiquette question for you all. 

FI and I are planning to take a vacation to Florida sometime in May of next year. We are looking into Destin but are open to other places with fab beaches (if you have any ideas, do tell!) We're planning to rent a vacation home. However, the vacation homes are for larger groups so we're thinking of inviting our 3 best friend-couples (our regular "group" that we hang out with) to join us on the trip. We're planning to pay for the accommodations (which will end up being around $3-4k for the week) and our own flights (from MN will be around $800-900 per couple, round trip). However, 3 of the 6 friends we're inviting are in graduate school (and we, as a group, are very frank about our finances) so we know money is tight with 2 of the 3 couples.

We're planning to bring it up at our next get-together. However, we'd like to know by October-November if they can make it so we can put a deposit down on a place and have it reserved. Are we asking too much - to know so soon? I'd like to give them a chance to save up for the flights. But we also want to reserve a place ASAP (one of the houses we are looking at is booked for two weeks in May already). And if they cannot make it, we're probably going to look into booking a smaller house.

We've never done anything like this before so I'm at a loss. (I recently lost over 100 pounds, so FI offered to take me on a vacation to celebrate and I thought it would be awesome to invite our friends since they've been super supportive throughout the weight loss as well as the wedding planning.) So basically, is it rude for us to ask for RSVPs so soon?

misssunshine17

I think since you're paying for the house, it's fine. However, I would just know that there is a real possibility that things come up and they might not be able to afford it after all. I would be really weary of doing something like this. 

Maggie0829

I think in this case no it is not rude to ask for an RSVP so soon.  Planning trips is different then RSVPing for a wedding.  Typically accommodations and flights are booked well in advance so you need to know well in advance if people are committed.

I think it is wonderful that you and your FI are going to pay for the accommodations.  That is very generous.  I will say that when you ask for an RSVP it has to be a hard RSVP meaning no backing out unless for a emergency since you will have to book the house.

My H plans a trip to the beach every year for a car show thing.  Each year he sends out a message to all of his friends who would be interested and gives them till a certain date to decide and then another date in which they need to put down a $50 deposit so that he knows they are truly in.  Not sure if that would be the best course of action for you though.

I would just make it clear about your intentions and possible prices.

PixeKat86

If you are going to be paying for the accommodation anyway, does it matter if you know they are for sure coming?  It is nice to let them know early so they can plan to save, but would it really change anything if closer to the date they decide it is too expensive?  As long as the date would work out for everybody I think it would be ok to book something.

And I would recommend going a little further away from Destin.  Look at Santa Rosa, Seacrest, or even Rosemary beach.  They can get busy in the summer months but nothing compared to the mass of people that are at Destin!  If you want a house right on the beach though the smallest are usually three bedroom still.

GypsyWife_

Congratulations on your weight loss. I think you should invest in vacation insurance you can get your money back if not everyone can make it. And it will give them more time to save since you have the option to cancel.