Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Confused on who to invite HELP!

My family situation is really complicated. I was taken away from my birth mom and I have no contact whatsoever with my birth father's family (I'm only inviting 6 people from my maternal side) and I moved in with my friend and her parents my junior year of high school. Fast forward 8 years and now I am getting married in a year. My friends mom is insisting that I invite literally all the aunts, uncles cousins, and everyone in their brother from my friends family. The big problem I hardly know any of the cousins except a few, some of them I wasn't even invited to their own wedding! Plus, one top of it some of the aunts never really saw me as "family" and I haven't seen them in years. We're trying to keep things small and on top of it all, I found my step father (I have his last name and he lost the court case trying to get full custody of me when I was younger) and he is once again a big part of my life as well as his family. My fiance and I would like to invite my step dads siblings because I spend Christmas with these people again now plus when my step father and I reconnected they threw us a huge party but once again my friend's mom is totally against it. I'm really torn we're trying to get a general idea for the guest list and my friend's mom is being a total jerk about it all.

Re: Confused on who to invite HELP!

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    My family situation is really complicated. I was taken away from my birth mom and I have no contact whatsoever with my birth father's family (I'm only inviting 6 people from my maternal side) and I moved in with my friend and her parents my junior year of high school. Fast forward 8 years and now I am getting married in a year. My friends mom is insisting that I invite literally all the aunts, uncles cousins, and everyone in their brother from my friends family. The big problem I hardly know any of the cousins except a few, some of them I wasn't even invited to their own wedding! Plus, one top of it some of the aunts never really saw me as "family" and I haven't seen them in years. We're trying to keep things small and on top of it all, I found my step father (I have his last name and he lost the court case trying to get full custody of me when I was younger) and he is once again a big part of my life as well as his family. My fiance and I would like to invite my step dads siblings because I spend Christmas with these people again now plus when my step father and I reconnected they threw us a huge party but once again my friend's mom is totally against it. I'm really torn we're trying to get a general idea for the guest list and my friend's mom is being a total jerk about it all.

    Who is paying for the wedding?

    If it is 100% you and your fiancee, then you may decide the guest list. Invite your nearest and dearest.

    If you have accepted (or are accepting) financial contributions from your "adoptive" family or FI's family, then you must take their thoughts and desires into consideration when it comes to the guest list and other aspects of the wedding.

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    75% of the wedding is being paid for my my fiance's parents, and we're picking up the rest of the tab. My "adoptive" mom keeps insisting on paying for stuff but we keep refusing because she started using that as leverage saying if she is paying for stuff then she'll get to invite who she wants. I was looking over the list she emailed and some of the people I honestly don't know who they are or how they're related to her and others I haven't seen since 2005
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    Thank you so much!
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