How to handle florist issue

crunchymamaof2

My FMIL asked if she could purchase our wedding flowers for us and we agreed. I decided to e-mail a local florist who I had worked for when I was in high school; she was super nice and did beautiful work. She immediately responded and asked what I was looking for and proceeded to send me an e-mail proposal with prices, etc. I was pretty happy and so was my FMIL. I would e-mail her updates as they happened, like when the bm dress color changed. I never met with her in person except for one time I stopped by the shop (its next to my grandparents house) and she sat with me for 5 minutes and just checked over everything. It wasn't an appointment or anything like that, just me stopping in the say hi and she said let's look it over. She seemed kind of irritated the last couple of times we spoke, with remarks similar to "well I have a million e-mails from you so I don't know", etc. We've exchanged about 4-5 e-mails.

I let that go, chalking it up to a bad day. Recently my FMIL asked me to schedule an appointment so we could finalize everything and see about centerpiece flowers (not actual centerpieces, just the fresh flowers, and we had talked about it with her prior). When I called she again seemed annoyed and said she was super busy so she wasn't sure what she had. We worked out a date but she told me there would be a $25 fee for a second consult since she's super busy (her words). Normally that would be fine with me but we never had a first consult. At least I feel that way. The wedding is at the end of October so I want to get this stuff nailed down sooner rather than later.

So, my questions are: Would you think the $25 2nd consult fee is fair? Or would you count our e-mail exchanges as a "1st consult"? Would I be out of line to say something about it? At this point I feel like I'm more of an annoyance than a valued customer. Those 4-5 e-mails took place over 3-4 months and I never changed anything major. In fact I pretty much told her that lilies were a must and what flowers I disliked and general shapes, etc, and she came up with her proposal. I haven't seen any of the flowers or bouquets IRL nor do I know all of the flowers in them. Which isn't a big deal to me, but I feel like I'm a pretty easy going customer so I don't get why she's kinda snippy. Though I could totally be reading way far into that. If we hadn't already paid a $100 deposit I'd seriously consider switching. The experience is just rubbing me the wrong way.

Thanks for any advice and letting me vent at the same time. Am I overreacting?

GypsyWife_

if you seen pictures of a mock bouquet and centerpieces and you told her what flowers to use and not use, what are you scheduling a consult for?

MayDay513

acove2006 said:

My FMIL asked if she could purchase our wedding flowers for us and we agreed. I decided to e-mail a local florist who I had worked for when I was in high school; she was super nice and did beautiful work. She immediately responded and asked what I was looking for and proceeded to send me an e-mail proposal with prices, etc. I was pretty happy and so was my FMIL. I would e-mail her updates as they happened, like when the bm dress color changed. I never met with her in person except for one time I stopped by the shop (its next to my grandparents house) and she sat with me for 5 minutes and just checked over everything. It wasn't an appointment or anything like that, just me stopping in the say hi and she said let's look it over. She seemed kind of irritated the last couple of times we spoke, with remarks similar to "well I have a million e-mails from you so I don't know", etc. We've exchanged about 4-5 e-mails.

I let that go, chalking it up to a bad day. Recently my FMIL asked me to schedule an appointment so we could finalize everything and see about centerpiece flowers (not actual centerpieces, just the fresh flowers, and we had talked about it with her prior). When I called she again seemed annoyed and said she was super busy so she wasn't sure what she had. We worked out a date but she told me there would be a $25 fee for a second consult since she's super busy (her words). Normally that would be fine with me but we never had a first consult. At least I feel that way. The wedding is at the end of October so I want to get this stuff nailed down sooner rather than later.

So, my questions are: Would you think the $25 2nd consult fee is fair? Or would you count our e-mail exchanges as a "1st consult"? Would I be out of line to say something about it? At this point I feel like I'm more of an annoyance than a valued customer. Those 4-5 e-mails took place over 3-4 months and I never changed anything major. In fact I pretty much told her that lilies were a must and what flowers I disliked and general shapes, etc, and she came up with her proposal. I haven't seen any of the flowers or bouquets IRL nor do I know all of the flowers in them. Which isn't a big deal to me, but I feel like I'm a pretty easy going customer so I don't get why she's kinda snippy. Though I could totally be reading way far into that. If we hadn't already paid a $100 deposit I'd seriously consider switching. The experience is just rubbing me the wrong way.

Thanks for any advice and letting me vent at the same time. Am I overreacting?

Those consult fees sound crazy to me. I visited probably 5-6 florist and each time we spent about an hour with them going over all the details before getting quotes. The one we went with answered about 50million emails from me, met with me in person several times. and never charged me for any of that.  I would be pissed if I had to pay just to see the flowers. If you look at it in terms of a food tasting for caterers, I wouldn't pay either. I know some people pay for tastings but I've never had to. You pay a crap ton for their product.

bunni727

Is it possible that your FMIL has been bugging her with a ton of emails or had a consult without you? Maybe that would explain her irritation.

I think it's silly to charge a consultation fee, but I guess that's the florist's prerogative.

schellzinator

@bunni727 - that's how I thought the post was going to end! OP I'd check to make sure FMIL hasn't been bombarding her as it does seem strange if you've only emailed her 4 times....

crunchymamaof2

@gypsybridetobe. That's the thing I haven't seen pictures at all. I told er what I liked and didn't like and se gave me a list of what flowers would be used but I haven't seen a thing

As for my FMIL, nope she hasn't contacted her at all. I do know this for a fact. She dropped off te deposit and that was it. She would never speak to a vendor without asking us first. At least I got crazy lucky in the FMIL department!

Jen4948

acove2006 said:

@gypsybridetobe. That's the thing I haven't seen pictures at all. I told er what I liked and didn't like and se gave me a list of what flowers would be used but I haven't seen a thing As for my FMIL, nope she hasn't contacted her at all. I do know this for a fact. She dropped off te deposit and that was it. She would never speak to a vendor without asking us first. At least I got crazy lucky in the FMIL department!

That's really wonderful!

As far as the florist goes, if you're not under contract to her, you and your FMIL might as well start looking around for one who isn't going to treat you like an annoyance when you try to make contact and charge you "consult" fees for nonexistent consults.  I'd just let this one know, "Since it seems that you're very busy, I feel like I'm being pushy and intrusive when I try to get in touch with you, so I'll look for someone else.  Thank you for your time."

FizzySips

@acove2006 - what is the deposit for? Just to hold the day or a progress payment towards an estimate? I would be very upset (off put? Concerned?) if a vendor who already had my money and the guarantee of work trying to shame me for being email-happy and wanting to meet in person. Not cool.

silver0319

I've never heard of a consult fee after paying a deposit. If you've already hired her, you should be able to meet with her.  My florist actually encourages the kind of communication that you've had with yours! 

I was pressured to meet with a specific florist too early in the planning process (a spouse of another vendor). Since it was very early, I told her I'd need some time to meet with other florists and get other quotes.  When my vision changed a few months later and I wanted an updated quote, she told that unless I gave her a deposit, she would have to charge me an hourly rate to update my quote.  

crunchymamaof2

The deposit was to hold our day and go towards our final bill. Am I wrong to ask for simple changes here and there?

[Deleted User]

I met with my florist twice. Once for our intial meeting to talk about flowers, ideas & budget. Then once it was closer to finalize everything. He never charged me any fees. I did have to pay a deposit $100.00 to hold my spot for that day which i didn't think was a big deal. Most of my vendors required a deposit of some sort.

southernbelle0915

acove2006 said:

The deposit was to hold our day and go towards our final bill. Am I wrong to ask for simple changes here and there?

Not at all. You are the customer. She's wrong to be snippy about 4-5 emails over several months. 

FWIW, we went to our florist and met with her for an hour and a half. She showed us ribbon examples, size examples, and we went through books to show her our likes and dislikes. She took notes, summarized what we talked about to ensure accuracy, we confirmed and we signed a contract. We never did a mock up because we did wildflowers and asked that each arrangement be different. I even called 6 days before the wedding to ask her if it was possible add a few more arrangements for the food stations. I said no problem if she can't - I realized it was super late notice. She was happy for the business and said no problem. 

tammym1001

I've paid for tastings and consultations with some vendors because I realize that their time is valuable and I am taking it up without a guarantee of giving them my business; however, you already gave this woman a deposit and told her you want to use her for your wedding so I think it's a little ridiculous to charge you a fee now. Maybe she has a lot of customers who are taking up a ton of her time and she's taking it out on you. I don't know, but it definitely doesn't sound like you've been difficult.

SP29

Consultations are part of the cost of doing business for a vendor. I suppose if you hadn't placed a deposit and THEN were requesting multiple consultations that would be one thing. But having placed a deposit you now have a client relationship and the vendor should be open to answering questions, etc.

I would call her back and say something along the lines of, "You seem really busy right now. Is there another date/time that would be more convenient for you?". 

Also, I think a consultation fee should have been discussed prior to placing the deposit. Do you have a contract that states anything about it? I think I would politely argue that. You were not told prior to placing your deposit that any future consultations would require a fee- thus you are not comfortable paying it.