Dear Prudence,
Several years ago I started a good job at a fairly large company in a
new city. During work orientation, I met another new employee in a
different division, also new to the city. We had a lot in common and we
soon arranged to meet for coffee. I was recently out of a painful
relationship, and was only looking for friendship. After a couple more
coffees and lunches, I got the vibe that he wanted more. I told him I
really liked him and hoped to work together, but just to be clear, I
wasn't interested in dating. He just said "OK." It was awkward, because
he hadn't even asked, and I wish now I'd said nothing until he clarified
his intentions. He avoided me from then on. Now both of us have been
promoted up the ladder. He's not really my superior, but my career
trajectory is veering toward a collaborative collision with his. We're
both now married and have kids. If I pass him in a hall, he smiles and
nods, but he hasn’t ever answered the handful of work emails I’ve sent
him, and I’ve let that go. I don't want to get him into trouble by
complaining to superiors, especially when I'm not even sure my complaint
is reasonable. I'm beginning to fear he wasn't embarrassed by my
rejection, but thought I was accusing him of sexual harassment. How can I
fix this?