Pennsylvania-Pittsburgh
Options

Destination vs. Pittsburgh

Here it goes -- the destination vs. home wedding question.  I have spoken to so many people and battled with the pros and cons of each option that I am about to go crazy (and drive everyone around me crazy too!). 

My fiance is from Pittsburgh and I am from Bulgaria (my parents still live there), so our original idea was to get married in Bulgaria.  However, most of my friends (and my sister) are in the US and needless to say, his too.  A lot of them are not willing to travel that far away for a wedding and we feared that we will have a very small wedding, it will feel more like we are eloping...  I do want to have my friends around me.

However, we do like the idea of the beach, the romantic location, etc.  Also, a destination wedding will allow the two families to spend more time together to get to know each other (as opposed to simply the day of the wedding).  So in hope that a closer destination will mean more people will be able to come, we considered Riviera Maya for our destination option. 

Both options sound appealing to me.  With Pittsburgh, I know what I am getting and I feel like I have control over the actual day -- how it looks, what happens, etc.  With a destination, as beautiful and magic as it might look on pictures, I am still nervous about not knowing what I am going to get on the day of...

I am soo torn between having a bigger wedding in Pittsburgh and having a somewhat smaller (but not too small) wedding in Mexico... And after talking to people around me time after time, I feel like I am the only one tormented by this question... My sister is starting to screen my calls because she knows what I am going to talk about :) 

Any words of advice from my fellow brides/brides to be? 

Re: Destination vs. Pittsburgh

  • Options
    edited December 2011
    That is such a tough one. I can't say what I would do in your shoes.

    I do think that a lot of the stress would be alleviated if you had a Pittsburgh wedding.

    I also think that you might face the same issues with a destination wedding that you would face with a wedding in Bulgaria. People may not be able to travel to Mexico, including friends on a limited budget.

    My friends are purposely having a destination wedding to keep the guest list down. If you want a bigger wedding, then I don't think a destination wedding is the right choice.

    Also, people will still make a weekend of it if you have it in Pittsburgh. So I still think your families would have a chance to get to know each other.

    You could have a destination wedding and then at at-home reception if the budget allows. That would combine both your ideas.

    HTH
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Just one thing to think about-people will need passports to go to a wedding outside of the US and not everyone has one, or is willing to get one to travel.  Just something you might want to think about!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    wait.... I didn't even read your whole message yet- just the first paragraph.  Do I know you?  Does your name start with a K? Does your fiance's name start with an R?  And... did you recently buy an awesome washer and dryer?
  • Options
    edited December 2011
    Hello! I don't think you should do a destination wedding in Mexico, for the reasons Kwynn mentioned. I'd do either a large wedding in Pittsburgh, with a reception in Bulgaria, or a small wedding in Bulgaria with a large reception in Pittsburgh. It just depends on what is more important- more people there to witness your actual ceremony, or having them at the reception. I hope this makes sense- just my initial thoughts!
  • Options
    edited December 2011

    Hey everyone, thank you for your responses, I was surprised by how quickly people jumped to help out a fellow knotty :).  No matter what we decide to do, I am sure the experience will be unforgettable so I am deciding to sit back for a few days and let my mind clear up ... Good luck to everyone with their upcoming nuptuals!

  • Options
    edited December 2011

    pssst- I just PMed you back.

    as far as the destination vs pitt thing- I would talk it over with your FI and see what the two of you want together. I have a friend who is getting marrie din St. Thomas and since not many people can go- they are having a reception in Pittsburgh as well. But they really wanted that destination wedding cause that's just how they want to start out their lives together- even tho not many of their friends/family will be able to come.  So- whats more important to you? Cause what you and your FI want is really the most important thing- you two are getting married after all

  • Options
    LaFemmeRousseLaFemmeRousse member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh, that's really a tough one.

    Will your parents and family in Bulgaria be able to attend the wedding either way, if it's in Mexico or Pittsburgh?  I've got to figure that they will be spending more than a day or two in town no matter where it is if they're traveling all that distance.  I think it basically comes down to how big you want your wedding to be (it would almost certainly be bigger in Pittsburgh), how comfortable you are giving up some control over the day (by having it in Mexico), and how much the gorgeous beachy setting matters to you.  Good luck with your decision, I hope you can figure it out soon!
    7.17.10

    image
    Pittsburgh sig: Favorite thing about fall= college football!
    Vacation
  • Options
    ashleyandcjashleyandcj member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I too thought about going away and having a destination wedding.  I looked at the pros and cons of each.  I liked the idea of going to a beach and getting married but the more I thought about it and talked about it with my family we decided to do it here in Pittsburgh and my parents are going to pay for the wedding as a gift to us.  I honestly would have the wedding in Pittsburgh because I feel like that is less people that have to travel and less drama.  Your parents can always come in a week or so before the wedding to have more time with you and your FILs.  GL!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards