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New to this Board- Need advice!

Hi everyone.  My name is Amanda and I'm getting married in downtown Pittsburgh on September 25 this year.  Super excited, but recently had a situation come up that I thought I could get some help on. 

One of our groomsmen (my fiance's best friend from childhood), had been dating his girlfriend for almost 3 years when we sent out our Save the Dates, so obviously we included her on the STD.   The four of us had spent a lot of time on double dates over the past years, so we were all pretty close friends.  Then last month, they very abruptly broke up.  It was an ugly break-up and now she is dating someone else.  The question is... do we "un-invite" her and not include her on the actual invites?  I know the rule is always "if you get an STD, you get an invite" but this is a strange situation.  She is, um, how to put this delicately... a bit of a drama queen?  I am just really worried she will start a big fight with him at the wedding. 

What do you guys think??


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Re: New to this Board- Need advice!

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    edited December 2011
    Even though you included her in the STD's, I think I would pass on inviting her to the wedding.  I'm sure she realizes you invited her because she's dating one of your FI's best friends.  Are you still really close with her?  If so then this could cause some hurt feelings.  If you were only close to her because of who she was dating, I'd say don't invite her.  You don't want the fights at the wedding, and it would probobly be ackward for both you and your FI, as well as the GM and her.
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    LaFemmeRousseLaFemmeRousse member
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    edited December 2011
    Hi, welcome, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

    I agree with Heather.  I don't think you still need to invite her, although her name was on the STD you sent.  Are you two still close, even despite the bad breakup and the new boyfriend?  If so, that might change my answer, but if not, I definitely don't think she needs to be invited, etiquette be darned.
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    edited December 2011
    Hello and welcome! I agree with others that you shouldn't invite her- seems like your safest bet. Even if you are close with her, invite her, and make sure that she is seated far from her ex, it sounds like there is still the potential for fighting/drama, which is obviously the last thing you want to deal with on your wedding day.
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    edited December 2011
    Did she receive her own STD or was she simply included on the GM's? If she was included on the GM, then she is HIS guest and not yours, and therefore wouldn't be invited.

    If she received her own, then she'd probably warrant her own invite as she was not invited as part of a couple, but on her own. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but we did it this way.

    I think she will probably take the hint and understand she isn't invited anymore.
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    asamko1asamko1 member
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    edited December 2011
    Oh thank you all for your help! Kwynn you bring up a great point that she was on HIS save the date as his guest so in that way, he can choose not to bring her as his guest.  We were somewhat close, but only because our boyfriends were best friends.  She said and did some nasty things to him when they broke up, so it definitely changed my opinion of her. 

    One new spot open on the guest list then!

    Thanks again-- and have a wonderful weekend!

    ~Amanda
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    missyt180missyt180 member
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    edited December 2011
    Welcome Amanda!

    You have already gotten great advice from the ladies here - I just wanted to pop in and say - love your wedding date!  :)  Where are you getting married?  I'm doing downtown as well at the Fairmont!
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    AP910AP910 member
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto the above advice and kudos on the wedding date :)
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