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Bachelor Party Woes

{Post Edited}

I'm not really even sure what I'm looking for here, I guess just some advice - or more to just vent... but I've been so nervous lately and this bach weekend isn't even planned! I don't know what to do...

Oh and just a warning - I'll most likely delete or edit this post in a bit... My intention in writing it is not to hurt anyone, just to ask advice/vent about the situation.

Re: Bachelor Party Woes

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    pantherRNpantherRN member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I told FI's BM and FI, who is his brother, that I don't really care what they do. However, I requested that there are to be no closed doors. As in, whatever happens must occur in front of all of the guys there. This includes my dad and FFIL. 

    So, I hear you on the being nervous part. I don't worry about FI or even the BM, but I worry about all of the other GM.
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    anne513anne513 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I understand why you wouldn't trust the GM and I think these situations always make the bride a little nervous. When I start thinking about all the things that could happen at FI bach party I also get nervous. With that said...I always end that thought process with FI in mind. He loves me, he is very responsible, and he would never do anything shady to jeopardize our relationship b/c irresponsible friends want him too.

    I think it's okay and normal to be worried and voice concern. However I wouldn't go "over the edge" with voicing that concern because you know your FI is responsible and loves you and you don't want him to feel like you don't trust him.
      Venting is def a great idea. That's why I love this board!
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    edited December 2011
    I think it's understandable that you ar nervous nd worried-I think most of us ladies get this way.  My DH went wih 3 of his single friends to Mountaineer Racetrack and Casino overnight.  He also isn't a big drinker or partier and 2 of the 3 guys are. I was really nervous before he went, but actually while he was there I was fine.  He kept in contact with me.  Itold him not to call, so he texted me every few hours and even sent me a picture of his dinne, his favorite blacjack dealer, and then of his breakfast in the morning.  I jsut felt better having heard from him, even though I didn't know what the guys were doing overnight.  Maybe something like that would help ease your mind.  Just hearing from him every so often-just a thought!
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    edited December 2011
    I also think it is perfectly normal to feel this way. I get a little nervous thinking about FI bachelor party too. I think Heather Lynne's advice of asking him to "check in" once in a while is a good one. I would also suggest that your brothers put the fear of god in your FI. :)

    Other than those two things I don't think there is much you can do. Just relax, trust him, and occupy yourself!


    RT + JB
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    The only item I will not compromise on...my bouquet of all purple tulips wrapped in a swatch from my Mom's wedding dress.
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    edited December 2011
    I hear you... my DH actually ended up not having a Bachelor party due to lack of interest (from DH and from the groomsmen). Lucky for me, DH doesn't drink. But if he would've had a b-party, most likely it would've been his brother taking him to a strip club. This isn't DH's thing, but he probably would've agreed to it just b/c he's easy going. I'm totally against strip clubs, so I told him how upset I'd be if they went to one, but just let him handle it from there. I think all you can do is voice your concern to him as you already have. Checking in to make sure he gets whatever they're going is fine, but I wouldn't make him feel that he needs to text you constantly.
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    gmc22gmc22 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the words of encouragement ladies... I know I'm most likely over-reacting or thinking too much about it but it's kind of hard to get off my mind...

    BTW I edited to post just because I don't want all of this info out there b/c this is a public forum but THANKS SO MUCH for the advice!
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    edited December 2011
    Just an old married lady here, adding my two cents.

    My DH went to Vegas with a large group of friends for his bachelor party. Did I trust him? Absotutely. Was I worried about him going to some strip club or elsehwere? Nope, not at all, I told him to do what he wanted. I wanted him to have fun, and if that includes strippers, fab. In the end, I don't think it did, but I'll never know.

    More than anything, this was about a vacation for him with a bunch of guy friends who are spread out across the country. So I wasn't the least bit worried.

    He did not check in, and I did not ask him to. Actually, his friends, who adore me, ended up calling me to say hi, because they had taken his phone away from him, so he couldn't call! (He likes to call me when he's drunk.) I thought it was cute.

    Bottom line, trust your FI. If you don't, then maybe you should re-consider the whole marriage thing.
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    Dave & Jennifer 10.18.08
    My Doha Adventures
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    JamieK1882JamieK1882 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hey gmc..I didnt get to read your original post, but thought I'd add my 2 cents as well. I have been worried about the bachelor party ever since I was little (way before I ever event met FI!). I explained to him (multiple, multiple times) how much I wasn't comfortable with strippers (ESPECIALLY the house kind). I did, however, want him to have a good time. I didnt care how drunk everyone got..strippers was my only hang up.

    I have to say, he ended up having a really tame bachelor party and all that worrying was for nothing! They went golfing, to the Pirate game, then casino. I think I drank more at my party than he did! So, even though its easy to say from this side of the fence, try not to stress too much. He loves you and wouldnt wnat to do anything to  jeopardize that
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    LaFemmeRousseLaFemmeRousse member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Bwahaha, I talked to DH a couple of times a day while he was away on his bachelor weekend (like we always do when we're apart), and one of these conversations ended with, "Sorry sweetie, gotta go, the strippers just arrived!"

    DH went to Tahoe and stayed in a big rented house with like 15 guys.  They definitely partied, drank, went to the casino, and obvi had strippers.  I expected this and to be honest it didn't bother me at all because 1. I trust DH completely and 2. he likes strippers less than I do :P  As long as people are being safe- not driving drunk, other stupid stuff like that- your FI will be fine.  I know you trust him and it's completely acceptable to voice any concerns you have ahead of time, but I would try not to be the stereotypical "nagging wife," ya know? 
    7.17.10

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    Pittsburgh sig: Favorite thing about fall= college football!
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    gmc22gmc22 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh yeah - I totally agree LaFemme... I would NEVER prevent him from doing anything. I guess my problem (and always has been) is that I'm a terrible worrier. About EVERYTHING! I over-stress myself out about every little thing in my life and I think this is no different. But I'm going to try and heed everyones advice and just relax.

    I do 100% trust FI and I always have... I guess it's just the whole situation that has me stressed, and if you knew FBIL you would probably feel the same way because he feeds off my worries and jokes around to the extreme. Butl thanks again for the advice everyone - really means a lot!! xoxo
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    edited December 2011
    Just keep him away from girls like me and you'll be fine. Or maybe not. It's a roll of the dice, girl! Better make him text you every hour on the hour. That's what men love!
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