Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Who to invite to the rehearsal dinner

I know that, obviously, the bridal party gets an invite to the rehearsal dinner and that we're supposed to invite out-of-town guests. Who else gets an invite? Do we need to include the officiant? What about significant others?

Re: Who to invite to the rehearsal dinner

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    manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2013
    The only people you technically have to invite to the rehearsal dinner are the people who attend the rehearsal itself AND their significant others (read: anyone in an established relationship) of those people. Never split up a couple. 

    It's a nice gesture to invite out-of-town guests, but not required. 

    ETA: I personally would extend an invitation to the officiant, especially if it's a pastor or family friend. If it's a officiant/vendor you merely googled up, they will most likely decline. 
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    The people who need to be at the rehearsal dinner = the people who participate in the rehearsal and their SOs. This often includes an invitation to the officiant (and his/her SO) depending on your relationship with the officiant.

    You do not need to invite all OOT guests to your rehearsal dinner. It is considered an added bonus for them but is in no way necessary.
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    MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2013
    RJD5 said: I know that, obviously, the bridal party gets an invite to the rehearsal dinner and that we're supposed to invite out-of-town guests. Who else gets an invite? Do we need to include the officiant? What about significant others?

    There will be some variation in responses here.  I am not quite sure how the trend for including OOT guests began, or when, but I personally do not feel that it is necessary to include them.  I have attended several OOT weddings and would never expect to be included in the dinner.  My view is that the rehearsal dinner is exactly what it infers; a dinner
    for the people involved in the rehearsal.  The wedding reception is meant to thank the guests for attending the wedding ceremony.  You do not invite people to the reception that you have not included in the wedding ceremony.  I think the same logic works for the rehearsal dinner.  It is for those guests involved in the rehearsal itself.

    Where differing opinions enter is the SO's of the wedding party itself.  In our personal experiences, SO's of the bridal party are not invited to the rehearsal. If the event is local, most SO's I know have been glad to have "dodged" the bullet of having to watch people rehearse just to get a dinner.  The exception I have seen, and agree with, is those bridal party members who are OOT guests and bring an SO.  In this case I think it would be rude to have half of that couple be excluded because it leaves the other half "hanging" in terms of dinner that evening.

    The officiant is a part of the rehearsal and should be extended an invitation.  Parents of ring bearers and flower girls should also be invited.  We also invited our readers to the rehearsal dinner.
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    manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2013
    mobkaz said:
    RJD5 said:
    I know that, obviously, the bridal party gets an invite to the rehearsal dinner and that we're supposed to invite out-of-town guests. Who else gets an invite? Do we need to include the officiant? What about significant others?


    There will be some variation in responses here.  I am not quite sure how the trend for including OOT guests began, or when, but I personally do not feel that it is necessary to include them.  I have attended several OOT weddings and would never expect to be included in the dinner.  My view is that the rehearsal dinner is exactly what it infers; a dinner for the people involved in the rehearsal.  The wedding reception is meant to thank the guests for attending the wedding ceremony.  You do not invite people to the reception that you have not included in the wedding ceremony.  I think the same logic works for the rehearsal dinner.  It is for those guests involved in the rehearsal itself.

    Where differing opinions enter is the SO's of the wedding party itself.  In our personal experiences, SO's of the bridal party are not invited to the rehearsal. If the event is local, most SO's I know have been glad to have "dodged" the bullet of having to watch people rehearse just to get a dinner.  The exception I have seen, and agree with, is those bridal party members who are OOT guests and bring an SO.  In this case I think it would be rude to have half of that couple be excluded because it leaves the other half "hanging" in terms of dinner that evening.

    The officiant is a part of the rehearsal and should be extended an invitation.  Parents of ring bearers and flower girls should also be invited.  We also invited our readers to the rehearsal dinner.




    What? SO's should ALWAYS be invited no matter if they are OOT or not. 

    And I've been the SO of a groomsman. I didn't attend the rehearsal (and I don't know of any SO's who have TBH). I merely met up with everyone at the restaurant afterward for dinner. 
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    We invited out WP and their SO, plus immediate families (Moms, Dads, Sisters and Brothers, plus their kids).  You don't have to invite OOT guests, though it is a nice gesture if you can swing it budget wise.  

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    Fran1985 Fran1985 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2013
    mobkaz said:
    Where differing opinions enter is the SO's of the wedding party itself.  In our personal experiences, SO's of the bridal party are not invited to the rehearsal. If the event is local, most SO's I know have been glad to have "dodged" the bullet of having to watch people rehearse just to get a dinner.  The exception I have seen, and agree with, is those bridal party members who are OOT guests and bring an SO.  In this case I think it would be rude to have half of that couple be excluded because it leaves the other half "hanging" in terms of dinner that evening.

    The officiant is a part of the rehearsal and should be extended an invitation.  Parents of ring bearers and flower girls should also be invited.  We also invited our readers to the rehearsal dinner.


    Ive never seen a differing opinion on this- you invite SOs, period. If they want to dodge the bullet its totally fine that they not come, but they MUST be invited. 

    ETA: weird formatting issues

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    Bridesmaids, groomsmen, officiant, parents of the bride, parents of the groom, and all of their significant others should be invited.  Out of town guests who have to arrive a day or two before the wedding could be invited but it is not required.
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    People involved directly involved in the wedding ceremony are invited to the RD.  It's a nice gesture to invite OOT guests, but not necessary.  

    We plan on inviting our bridal party and their SOs & kids, and our immediate families (18 people in all). FMIL and I also talked about including aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents (another 18 people) because they're all OOT.  
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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    We invited the bridal party and SO's as well as immediate family and the priest.  The IL's (who were financing the shin-dig) decided to extend the invites to all the OOT aunts, uncles and grandparents.  It was a really nice get together the night before the wedding.
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