So I'll try and make this short. I found Mr. Right while looking for no one and vice versa. It is true love and I know that this anxiety is one of those things that I can get thru, but I can't calm myself down today.
I'm the one that carries us financially right now, he has kids from past relationships and the child support takes most of the money. We can get more than by and I'm still able to cover things and put money aside. He's living paycheck to paycheck.
We have a modest wedding, however very large famillies, I've looked at every way to get our guest list and budget down. My parents graciously offered to help us and they're covering about 50% of the reception cost. I'm looking at artificial flowers and DIY projects everything to cut costs.
On top of it the house needs 3 new windows (all needing to be custom) and a new door, and a new roof....
I can do this- all of that i can cover the wedding, i can cover the expenses, i can handle the extra cost of extra bridal party attendants that I wasn't planning on. And I can handle the car repairs that need to be done.
Add that all up it's a lot and I'm starting to feel like I can't do it, the biggest thing is that my FI had really bad past relationships, and well got a vesectomy prior to meeting, he will redo it and we planned on doing it end of December, his job which was supposed to give him a bonus have not froze that, and that is what was going to pay for some of his debt and the reversal. The Dr. Said that our best percentages is to do it in the next 2 years, and well by my math, we can't swing the cost for 5. Having children is important and I'm afraid to wait.
We're at the 6 month mark friday and we don't have cake, a photographer, transportation etc etc. His mother stopped speaking to us and there goes the rehearsal dinner the only thing she was going to help with.
I know I want to be with him there is no doubt in my mind, but all of this is starting to make me nervous- perhaps i'm venting as usually i'm the strong one, he's not home and I'm feeling unnerved. I'm looking for money making opportunities, but I have a very stressful job, and FI would too but he works almost 12 hour days.... I don't want to ask my parents for the help as much as i'm sure they would they're trying to make an investment and pay for mine and help my brother with his wedding next fall. I feel stuck.