Chit Chat
Options

Clickly POLL: Where are you getting married?

WonderRedWonderRed member
5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
edited October 2013 in Chit Chat
FI came home from somewhere a while ago and said everyone he talks to is completely dumbfounded that we aren't getting married in a church.  I don't know why we would do that since neither one of us is religious. It would be offensive to us to do that and a slap in the face to the church were we made false promises to a god or religion we don't believe in.  Why is it so shocking to people that we're doing our ceremony in a way that reflects our spiritual beliefs and not through an organized religion? 

So just curious where everyone is getting married.

Where are you getting married 80 votes

In a church/temple/synagogue/etc
32% 26 votes
Not a religious location but with religious officiant
21% 17 votes
Non religious ceremony
46% 37 votes

Re: Clickly POLL: Where are you getting married?

  • Options
    If people know you're not religious, that's weird that they would expect you to get married in a religious building.

    That's disrespectful both to people of religious belief and to your own beliefs.  A wedding is important... it should reflect your sincere beliefs, not what others want you to do.

    SaveSave
  • Options
    FI and I are the opposite of religious. Our friends and families aren't religious either. Thankfully not one person has questioned us as to why we're not having a church ceremony. 
  • Options
    WonderRedWonderRed member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited October 2013
    monkeysip said:
    If people know you're not religious, that's weird that they would expect you to get married in a religious building.

    That's disrespectful both to people of religious belief and to your own beliefs.  A wedding is important... it should reflect your sincere beliefs, not what others want you to do.
    Exactly!   That's why we're both all...

    image

    Getting married somewhere other than a church is not some new, novel concept. So WTF?!

    (Edited because I can't type for crap today.)


  • Options
    undecided..the major stress in my life right now is this decision!   I originally didn't consider getting married in a church.  while we both are catholic neither attend church for years now.  people (our parents mainly) just assumed we'd have a church wedding.    it doesn't feel appropriate to marry in a church when we don't actively go, but at the same time I don't want to eliminate religion from our lives (and especially from our future children's lives)
  • Options
    My fiance and I are not getting married in church for the same reason. I am Christian and believe in God, etc, but we don't go to church. Why would I get married in a church when I am never there???
  • Options
    Outdoors, overlooking the ocean.  Our officiant was a Hawaiian hippy who added some Hawaiian touches to our ceremony which is exactly what we were looking for in going to Hawaii.  Totally non-religious as neither of us are practicing.  It was amazing.  

  • Options
    we are both religious but do not attend church regularly so felt it was better not to get married in the church.  We had a lovely ceremony outside at a country club and were lucky enough to find a catholic reverend who would marry us outside the church.  we had to sign a waiver acknowledging our marriage was not recognized by the church, and that was fine with us.  We each have our religious beliefs and morals/values that align so it worked for us. 
    image

    Anniversary
  • Options
    Outdoors, overlooking the ocean.  Our officiant was a Hawaiian hippy who added some Hawaiian touches to our ceremony which is exactly what we were looking for in going to Hawaii.  Totally non-religious as neither of us are practicing.  It was amazing.  
    This is similar to us... except ours it at the top of  red rock cliffs at the back of our venue with our hippie, Navajo shaman friend doing the ceremony.  Lots of Mother Earth spiritual stuff that we believe in, but nothing religious. The people that know us best won't be shocked by it at all.  My very Baptist mother was kind of "HUH?!"  about it at first but even she isn't one of the people who can't wrap her brain around the non church thing.
  • Options
    Not really sure how to vote on this... my fiance and I are not religious, but our parents are. We are getting in a non religious setting (garden) and having a mostly secular ceremony with a few religious bits thrown in out of respect for our guests. 

    I never thought I would get married in a church. I always knew I was going to get married outdoors somewhere.

    image
  • Options
    My MOH's dad is a priest in the Old American Catholic Church and he is marrying us. I was raised Roman Catholic and FH was raised WELs Lutheran. Our wedding/cocktail hour/reception will be in a Masonic Temple. It will have some religious aspects but won't be a full Catholic mass.
    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
  • Options
    Ugh. Why do people do this?

    FMIL kept putting pressure on me (not us, just me) to get married in the Methodist church here (because there's no Catholic church). FI and I were both raised Catholic, although his upbringing was much less strict than mine. Neither of us believe now. I had to tell her 3 times that it would be disrespectful to the church and to us, to use their sacred space when neither of us believes. She's got it now, but she's still pretty sore at me. I say if she wants to have a church wedding, she can try it on her daughter in a couple years.

    We're having a non-religious ceremony, at a non-religious venue, but conducted by FI's uncle who is a Catholic priest. Hopefully. Assuming he's back from Rome in time for us to discuss it with him next time we're in his neighbourhood.
    imageDaisypath Friendship tickers
  • Options
    We had a ceremony that combined my husband's Quaker upbringing with my agnosticism. So it was a traditional Quaker ceremony, except we removed all references to God or the Light. We got married outside instead of in a meeting house, and we didn't have an officiant, in keeping with the Quaker tradition.

    We're both really lucky to come from fairly non-religious families, and we didn't face any pressure to get married in a house of worship. That would have been non-negotiable for me.
  • Options
    I actually think its really weird when people get married in religious houses when they are not religious... Additionally I think its weird to baptize your kid when you are not religious.  Sometimes it is to please their parents though I think.
  • Options
    CLI242009CLI242009 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Answer Name Dropper
    edited October 2013
    My FI & I are getting married in a church, he is a confirmed Catholic, I was baptized Catholic but neither of us go to church daily. 

    For his spiritual needs that was one of his few requests that had to do with our wedding - married by a catholic priest. Catholic priests will not marry you outside of a church unless it's very bad circumstances (medically ill, can't walk, etc.) 

    It's still a big shocker when people don't get married in a church. It's one of those social stigmas I guess. Maybe that's why people still get married in churches even though they are not religious? I knew I wanted to get married in a church but no one taught me the importance of the churches or the differences in religions. Growing up I thought you just picked a church and got married in it. I apologize for those whose churches are sacred to them but like I said no one taught me any better. 

    Definitely stick with what you believe and what you guys want to do. Be happy ^_^ 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards