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Destination Wedding Expenses

I really want my wedding to be in Hawaii. We thought hawaii is reasonable because it is between Japan (where I am originally from) and USA. 

I am thinking of Four Seasons Maui for my ceremony & reception. Very luckily, my parents are paying for the ridiculous wedding-related cost but they are not willing to cover air plane tickets or hotel for the VIPs (groom's parents and my best friends). Some of my friends / families are very excited for the wedding, but the others think it is very costly (about $1000) to fly out from the east coast. My FI is from New Jersey and many of his families and friends are there. I feel bad for some people who are hesitance because of cost. So the question (1) is it okay to book a room block at another hotel close to Four Seasons even if we are staying at Four Seasons? (2) Is it a tradition to cover some of travel expenses for groom's VIPs? I need some help! Thanks!!

Re: Destination Wedding Expenses

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    1. Yes, it is ok to have blocks of rooms at multiple hotels. In fact it is nice if they have varying price points.
    2. No, travel expenses are up to the guests regardless of their status.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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    1. It's fine (even preferable) to book a room block at a less expensive, nearby hotel. 
    2. The bride & groom are only responsible for paying their own travel expenses (and their children's, I suppose, if they have children under the age of 18). HOWEVER if there are VIPs that you absolutely 100% want to have at the wedding, and they cannot afford it, your options are

    a) they don't attend. 
    b) you pay for part/all of their travel
    c) you have your wedding in a location they can travel to


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    I really want my wedding to be in Hawaii. We thought hawaii is reasonable because it is between Japan (where I am originally from) and USA. 

    I am thinking of Four Seasons Maui for my ceremony & reception. Very luckily, my parents are paying for the ridiculous wedding-related cost but they are not willing to cover air plane tickets or hotel for the VIPs (groom's parents and my best friends). Some of my friends / families are very excited for the wedding, but the others think it is very costly (about $1000) to fly out from the east coast. My FI is from New Jersey and many of his families and friends are there. I feel bad for some people who are hesitance because of cost. So the question (1) is it okay to book a room block at another hotel close to Four Seasons even if we are staying at Four Seasons? (2) Is it a tradition to cover some of travel expenses for groom's VIPs? I need some help! Thanks!!

    If you and groom want to cover travel or accommodations for your VIP's, then it would be kind of you to offer. Otherwise, no one covers travel or accommodations for another.
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    I really want my wedding to be in Hawaii. We thought hawaii is reasonable because it is between Japan (where I am originally from) and USA. 

    I am thinking of Four Seasons Maui for my ceremony & reception. Very luckily, my parents are paying for the ridiculous wedding-related cost but they are not willing to cover air plane tickets or hotel for the VIPs (groom's parents and my best friends). Some of my friends / families are very excited for the wedding, but the others think it is very costly (about $1000) to fly out from the east coast. My FI is from New Jersey and many of his families and friends are there. I feel bad for some people who are hesitance because of cost. So the question (1) is it okay to book a room block at another hotel close to Four Seasons even if we are staying at Four Seasons? (2) Is it a tradition to cover some of travel expenses for groom's VIPs? I need some help! Thanks!!


    Your parents are being very generous in their offer to pay for the wedding.  But they are not obligated to pay for your FI's VIP guests in anyway other than hosting them at the reception.  That being said, is there anyway that you can afford to pay for your FI's VIP guests?  Would they not be able to attend at all without some monetary help?

    I would also get a hotel block at another hotel.  The Four Seasons could be out of the price range of many guests, especially after the airfare to Maui.  H & I went to Kauai in July of last year for our honeymoon and our airfare from NJ was $1300 each person roundtrip, so depending on the month you are getting married, it could cost even more than $1k pp just for flights.  Also, try to block off some rooms with 2 beds, so some people could double up on accomodations and split the hotel costs with another couple.

    Are you open to other destinations for your wedding?  Or do you have your current location booked with a deposit already?  A destination that might be easier for all, would be San Fransciso or anywhere in California.

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    answer to question 1) Yes. It would be wise to get another hotel block at a less expensive hotel so that your guests have the option if their budget doesn't allow for the Four Seasons.

    answer to question 2) No. No matter where your wedding is, guests are responsible fr getting there themselves and paying for their own lodging. It's absolutely not expected for the bride or groom's side to pay for this.
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    While it the bride and groom aren't expected to pay for the VIP's, you can if it's affordable to you. 

    My husband and I, paid for the room rate for my maid of honor as she lost her job a few months before our wedding. She never asked for assistance, but knowing that she was struggling we wanted to help her out. But because we only helped her and no one else, we made sure that she didn't let anyone else know that we gave her some money for her hotel. 

    Secondly, are you working with a travel agent? In the past of I've heard of travel agents being able to get a discount code for groups flying to the same location on the same airline. I personally haven't experienced though. For example, I had a friend we was getting married overseas. She was able to get a 10 percent off discount code for her guests to use when booking their airfare. 

    You should look into it as it may help soften the blow of the expensive airfare for your guests. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    1.  As others have said - yes it fine to get a room block at a less expensive hotel as an option for your guests.

    2.  It is never the responsibility of the  hosts (your parents) to cover transportation costs for others.

    Is someone trying to tell you that your parents should be covering the costs?
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    Thank you all!
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    You can get room blocks at hotels other than the one you are marrying at.

    Your parents are not required, nor are you, to cover anyone else's transportation costs.  That may mean, however, that people will not attend the wedding who would otherwise be there.
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