Stupid question...where do you ladies make new friends?

behsco90

I'm starting to realize I need to make some new friends. I pretty much spend all my free time with the BF and I think it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.  I've lost touch with most of my friends from college since none live locally and I work at a very small clinic, so no chance of befriending new coworkers, since there aren't any.  So between working full time and spending all weekend long with the BF, I am at a loss as to making new friends, not to mention that I'm pretty shy with new people.

So what do you all do to make new friends? 

phira

Where do you live?

I have friends who've had luck with hobby-related things. Joining a running group, or a local chess group, stuff like that. Common interests give you something to talk about while you're getting to know people.

I actually met a BUNCH of my local friends online. I met a few of them through a commenting section on a feminist blog (no joke) and one day we decided to have a local get together, and BAM, they went from internet friends to "real life" friends. Through them, our friend group has expanded. One person is actually someone I started following for news about the Marathon bombing, and then two of our friends moved into her apartment when she was looking for roommates, and now she's just another part of the group.

Swazzle

I'm still close with a few friends from college and a lot of the ladies here have become my IRL friends. I agree with PP that online is actually a good place to start. Find a site that shares your interests and go from there. 

CLoGreenEyes

Church, school, work, and especially volunteering. Having a common goal with someone always helps me get to know them and be a friend to them.

ETA: Also, depending on where you live, neighborhood events can be a fun place to meet folks. I remember being in my college dorm it was impossible NOT to meet people because of all the stupid get-togethers we arranged as RAs, lol. It's not *as* easy when you're all grown up, but I would still look into community events that you can participate in.

KeptInStitches

Not a stupid question! Most of my friends are part of a gaming group that BF founded around the same time we started dating. A few of us even remained friends after they graduated. While it's not really an interest of mine, it does get me out of my apartment and I've kind of been adopted as chief heckler (they even tried to make it an official officer position this year, but were thwarted when I refused to pay dues).

[Deleted User]

most of my friends are through church and hobby-related groups.  maybe try taking a Saturday cooking class or something else hobby-related.  @lunarsongbird had a lot of luck meeting people through meetup.com.

GoldenPenguin

I was also going to recommend meetup.com - they have lots of different groups so you are bound to find something you're interested in. A girl that just started working with me doesn't know anyone here (besides her new co-workers) and has already gone on several excursions through meetup.com and loves it. 

behsco90

Thanks for the ideas ladies! I wish it was as easy as when I was in school!

motoLyn

This past summer I made a good number of new friends joining a sporting group.  If you have something you like to do, I suggest that.  Ultimate frisbee, kickball league, tennis what not.

katieg520

I don't generally make new friends unless I am introduced to a new group of people. I am friends with the same people I was friends with in college. I made a lot of new friends when I was married previously because he was in the military, so we moved around a lot. I still keep in touch with those people. I met a lot of new friends when I met my fiance because I became friends with all his friends' wives and gfs.

I liked the above suggestion of joining hobby groups, like running groups, book clubs, etc.

GoldenPenguin

I was also going to recommend meetup.com - they have lots of different groups so you are bound to find something you're interested in. A girl that just started working with me doesn't know anyone here (besides her new co-workers) and has already gone on several excursions through meetup.com and loves it. 

KateJ16

Honestly, I know that meeting my friends was a fluke - at my old job, they put together a rec volleyball team, and everyone on that team (about 9 of us) ended up being my closest friends now for 8 years running.

BUT - I know that (depending on where you live) a lot of those things are great for meeting people.  Here we have Chicago Sport & Social, but I know they are starting to have those S&S groups everywhere now - and most of the time you can sign up as an individual for whatever sport/group and get placed with other individuals who don't know people (which from what I have heard from others has worked out well).

loves2shop4shoes

I have become IRL friends with several of the women who post on this board.

I also have gotten friendly with a girl who used to be my colleague here in Chicago.

There are also some free sites like GirlFriendSocial.com, where women can go to meet other women for platonic friendships.

My DH has been sad lately, partly because he's had a lot of trouble meeting people in Chicago and wants friends here.  I'm trying to nudge him towards meetup.com.  But you can only lead a horse to water...

KateJ16

@loves2shop4shoes next time you ladies get together (and don't mind another) let me know, I would love to meet up with you next time!

leia1979

If there's some sort of activity you like with a group you can join, that's a great way. I started going to a dance school almost three years ago, and many of my new friends are from there. I've also made great friends on this board, but no one actually lives nearby.

bethsmiles

I make friends at work and school but being in grad school and working for the university I go to means that's where I spend 90% of my time.

Even though I haven't been lucky enough to meet any of the lovely ladies on here IRL, I do still consider them friends, so I agree with PPs that on-line is a great place to start!

bride2b71614

Its not a stupid question at all. I made a majority of my friends at my internship and in grad school because I spend a lot of time there. When I moved I had a few weeks where I didn't really know anyone, there were friendly neighbor hellos, etc but the interactions wouldn't go far beyond that. I ditto with using the internet as a great source to make friends. I used meetup.com. I find that its much easier to make friends when people have similar interests. You mentioned that you are shy. The best part about a meetup group is that the conversation topics are provided for you, and generally people interact with each other without feeling forced to do so.

lilyandsparrow

Work, church/small group, volunteering, mommy groups, and friends of friends.

OnceUponAVine

I joined a local book club and took a ladies-only cooking class where I met some awesome girls. A lot of the time its finding something you enjoy then finding a group who enjoys the same thing.