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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Thank you help

My aunt (and her husband and children) unfortunately wont be able to make it to our wedding due to finances. However, I would like to thank her after the wedding because she is lending me her veil to wear as my something borrowed. Should I send her a thank you note? Would it be rude or inappropriate to say "sorry you couldn't make it, but thank you..."?  Or should I just thank her by phone or something? I wouldn't want the note to sound like I was trying to remind her that she wasn't there or anything. Maybe I should treat the note like it was for a gift from someone who didn't attend? Advice?

Re: Thank you help

  • I think writing a thank you note would be lovely. I don't think it would be inappropriate at all to say "Sorry you couldn't make it." Maybe you could say something that expresses that you are sorry that she couldn't make it, but that having her veil with you on your special day was wonderful. 

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  • jlazgrl said:
    My aunt (and her husband and children) unfortunately wont be able to make it to our wedding due to finances. However, I would like to thank her after the wedding because she is lending me her veil to wear as my something borrowed. Should I send her a thank you note? Would it be rude or inappropriate to say "sorry you couldn't make it, but thank you..."?  Or should I just thank her by phone or something? I wouldn't want the note to sound like I was trying to remind her that she wasn't there or anything. Maybe I should treat the note like it was for a gift from someone who didn't attend? Advice?
    Yes, you should thank her - I think a thank you note is a very nice way of doing that. Perhaps include a photo of you in the veil. It would not be rude or inappropriate to tell her that you are sorry that you missed her at the wedding. As long as it's genuine. 

    It sounds like you genuinely appreciate her letting you borrow her veil and you missed her presence.  A heartfelt thank you note telling her those things is not misplaced.
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  • I think that is what I will do then. I was just worried that saying "sorry you couldn't make it" might make her feel bad about not coming. She originally RSVPd yes to all 5 of them coming, but a few days ago she called and said they wouldn't be able to make it. She was almost in tears because she thought I would be upset.
  • What PPs said. 
    How cool that you get to wear her veil...I LOVE the borrowed stuff, it's so personal :) GL!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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