Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Come to think of it....

My fiance and I went to a wedding shower last year in November and got them a pizza stone they had registered for. They gushed about it at the shower because the groom used to work in a pizza restaurant and he really wanted that. Now that I think about it, we never got a thank you note.... Hmmm.

Re: Come to think of it....

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    That sucks. Many people around here don't give baby gifts if they didn't get a thank you card. I seriously side eye how long it takes people to do them. I had a shower on Sunday and they were in the mail Tuesday. 
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    I really never understood how you could forget to send a thank note for gifts. I'm not trying to say ones on your registry vs not on your registry is more important or cheaper vs expensive but the ones on your registry, you put them there. You know how much it probably was with or without discounts. So if you KNOW it was one of your more expensive gifts how can you forget not to say thank you. I just never understood it. I know with planning and leading up to the day is hectic but it's just so weird that people forget to say thank you!!! *sighs* 
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    I'm more particular about now since I've been on here, reading about it more. I think it depends on my relationship with the people as to how I perceive it. 

    I wasn't taught to give thank you notes by my parents or grandparents for anything. I don't know if it's because my own family has never given them, or that we just haven't had any sort of events where they were given (I would have been a small child when my mom had any baby showers for my brothers). So I'm glad I'm more aware of proper etiquette now. 

    But looking back now, FI and I didn't get thank you notes for the gift (money) that we gave to our friends for either their shower or wedding. I don't think negatively about it, because I wonder if it's possibly a cultural thing (both the B&G grew up outside of Canada in not a western culture), and I know they are thankful friends. They have been very supportive of us, and it wasn't like they took our money and we never heard from them again. 

    I also didn't receive a thank you note from the gift I gave at my cousin's wedding. I do remember she asked me for my dad's address so she could send a thank you note, so I assume my name was included on that, (but my parents never mentioned receiving a thank you note, though they might not have either way), even though I lived in a different household and gave my gift separate from my parents. I slightly judge there, but feel it's not worth my time to care. 

    I also went to a baby shower a couple years ago for a close friend and the hosts of the shower even got all the guest to write their addresses on the envelope because they knew if not, thank you notes would never be sent.... well a thank you note was never received. I judged that one a bit too, but figured it would never happen. 
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    Some people don't feel the need to send a note if they thanked you in person.  While I did send thank you notes for all wedding and baby shower gifts I received I do not consider it a slight if I am thanked in person.  Honestly, you can thank me via text or fb, I just want to know it was received.  
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    Yeah, I was thinking that because they thanked us in person that a note was not needed. Plus, I never even noticed it until now because I have recently started posting on here and have been reading about how rude people perceive it to be. I mean, these are good friends and I know they use the gift we got them.
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    Even if you're thanked in person, I still think it's rude for them to not send a thank you note. You were generous and gave them a gift, and really it takes a few minutes to jot down a thank you note. At weddings and showers typically the bride or couple don't have time to go around to personally thank each person, and when they do, they are typically thanking them for coming to the event as they won't know what was given until later (at least at weddings). For them to not take the few moments to jot a quick note in a card is inconsiderate.

    I don't think that most people forgo cards because they are intentionally trying to be rude, but regardless it comes off that way and hurts many people's feelings. Therefore it's considered common courtesy.
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    DH didn't understand why I insisted on TY notes.  He feels a phone call is more personal cos you actually talk to the person versus a note.  He thought we should be calling all of the people who gave us gifts rather then sending a note.  I said he could call, but I was sending notes to everyone.  

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    Even if you're thanked in person, I still think it's rude for them to not send a thank you note. You were generous and gave them a gift, and really it takes a few minutes to jot down a thank you note. At weddings and showers typically the bride or couple don't have time to go around to personally thank each person, and when they do, they are typically thanking them for coming to the event as they won't know what was given until later (at least at weddings). For them to not take the few moments to jot a quick note in a card is inconsiderate.

    I don't think that most people forgo cards because they are intentionally trying to be rude, but regardless it comes off that way and hurts many people's feelings. Therefore it's considered common courtesy.
    At every shower I have been to I have been specifically thanked for the gift I gave as it was opened.  
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    I was never taught proper etiquette until about 10 years ago. I feel really bad now for some of the things I have or have not done. For example my first marriage was at a JP and we went to visit his parents they threw us kind of a surprise shower I guess you wold call it (It was kind of a bridal shower but after we got married since we didnt really tell anyone we were getting married) and I never sent thank you notes. (eek!!) No one wrote down who gave me what and it was the first time I met most of the people anyway so I had no idea who they were. Looking back I feel bad. 

    SOME people are just literally clueless. 
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    mimiphinmimiphin member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2013
    I was never taught proper etiquette until about 10 years ago. I feel really bad now for some of the things I have or have not done. For example my first marriage was at a JP and we went to visit his parents they threw us kind of a surprise shower I guess you wold call it (It was kind of a bridal shower but after we got married since we didnt really tell anyone we were getting married) and I never sent thank you notes. (eek!!) No one wrote down who gave me what and it was the first time I met most of the people anyway so I had no idea who they were. Looking back I feel bad. 

    SOME people are just literally clueless. 

    Honestly this really doesn't bug me that much, if they really don't know any better. What pisses me off is when they know its wrong and still do it anyways.

    image

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    We still make fun of my cousin after not sending thank you notes for 20 years. The only 2 I have ever gotten were when we were 12 and for her wedding.
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