Rehearsal Dinner

ogorm013

Hello Everyone,

I have been bumping heads with my MIL who is stuck in her old ways or something else, not sure. I am looking for advice on how to handle the situation or to let me know if I am in the worng. My MIL is excited for the marriage and everything and is a nice person, but she is stubborn. For the rehearsal dinner she wants it to be at Old Country Buffet. I in no way want to eat there the night before our wedding. My fiance agrees. When I mentioned we were not a fan she said thats where I took my other son for his so thats where you are having yours. Her other son got married 15 years ago. I am flexible on where I would be happy with Buffalo Wild Wings. Am I right on this that OCB is no way ok for a rehearsal dinner?

Another issue we have been having is she keeps adding people to the guest list. My family only has 29 people invited, 10 more than likely not coming. She has the list ramped up to 104 people. I wanted a small wedding becuase we cant afford it. I have point blank (nicely) said if she wants all those extra people she has to pay for the extra. She is not helping at all with the wedding money wise. We only wanted about 75 people. I even tried to compromise with well we can do no children (Hate to admit I prefer) and that would take down the number. She said that won't fly with the family. What am I going to do?

Thank you to anyone who gives advice.

ReturnOfKuus

Stop giving guests their own guest lists, and tell her thanks but you have it covered if you don't like the rehearsal dinner she plans to throw for you.

Wzz

kuus pretty much summed it up perfectly.

CLI242009

If she is paying for the rehearsal dinner than she can choose where. She can ask your opinions but if she's the one hosting it, then it's not up to you. Like kuus said, you don't like it, host your own RD.

Now the guest list, I'm confused. Is this guest list for the wedding or for the rehearsal? If it's for the wedding and she's not contributing then you need to be firm and say "this is what WE decided." If you guys are paying for it, then you get the say. You give her a number and let her know that's how many people FI/FMIL can invite.

FI & you have to be on the same page. He should be the one saying "we have decided not to invite children" or "we want a small wedding. this is the guest count we want, this is how many each side can invite." HE needs to be the one saying this to HIS mother. Both of you can sit down and talk to her, but HE should be the one saying it & reinforcing it if it doesn't get through to her the first time around.

HisGirlFriday13

You're either going to do what Kuus said or you're going to have a wedding you can't afford with an RD at OCB.