Friday's Open Letters

Snippylynn · April 2012

Dear Universe-
Stop fuucking with me this week. I have had enough. Nearly crying in a coworkers office and then barely stopping myself from screaming at a second means I have had too much this week. Stop it.
**********************************************************
Dear Husband:
I'm ready to move back to the US. Suck it up and deal. If you can't- I'll go back without you.
*********************************************************
Dear Various Coworkers-
I get that you are old school and set in your ways. But, if I tell you that you will stop having technical problems with a program by using a different browser just fucking do it. I can't help you if you won't help yourself and it pisses me off that I've been telling you this for a YEAR and you still refuse to do it. How thick can you get?

Also, if I've been telling you that any content you provide to me has to be THIRTY WORDS don't send me somethiing that is EIGHTY WORDS. Do you even realize how annoying it is to have to go back to you a million times to get the content right when you could just do it right the first time and everyone would be happier?? I HATE YOU.

Beachy730 · April 2012

Dear Snips,

11 days. That is all.http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00655KG4O/ref=s9_simh_gw_p351_d0_g351_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=10B2MB573JWK3TNVR5EG&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846

Signed,

The other shameful fan

Anysunrise · April 2012

Dear hospital with that lovely job opening,

Please hire me, and please have enough hours/pay to let me be able to take it.

Thanks,

Banking is destroying my soul.

[Deleted User] · April 2012

Dear Beachy,

Thank you for that Proactiv refining mask suggestion awhile back. I recently got another zit and applied it early on, and it's the least bad zit I've had in awhile.

Smooches,
daff

acaponi87 · April 2012

I'll write to the universe too. Dear universe, I've been way too happy and not stressed lately. It is unsettling, especially since the wedding is almost here. What are you hiding? I know there must be a big pile of shiit you are about to drop on me so get it over with already. Please thank you, Ang

kroot87 · April 2012

Dear boss,
Hire a receptionist. Sure, I've been optician/manager/receptionist/billing dept., etc., since we opened, and sure I can handle the workload.. But when I have to interrupt a patient 10 times to answer the phone, said patient is going to be pissed. Stop making me piss off all of our patients, and hire a damn receptionist.

Dear FI,
I'm so proud of the way you've bounced back from losing your job.. But you're working 3 jobs, 7 days a week, and you don't want me to get a second job. Let me take some of the burden off you. I love your work ethic, but you're going to get burned out.

Stackeye210 · April 2012

Dear Uterus,

FUUCK YOU!

Signed, Me

FutureMrsFezz · April 2012

Dear Kid in my ute,

Stop abusing me.

Love,
Mom? (weird)

LDYGTR13 · April 2012

Dear Uterus,

Please stop making me want to eat everything in sight. I'm trying to not be such a fatty anymore and I was doing really well until you intervened. Stop it.

Love, Not Hungry

Dear Diva Cup,

I love you. So much. I think we'll be best friends.

-LDY

Dear Snippy,

Come back to the US. We miss you.

-All 50 States

baystateapple · April 2012

Dear Stupid People I Work With,
At least you're all making me laugh this morning.

_____________

Dear Body,
I see you're losing inches. Pounds would be nice too.

______________

Dear Mom,
You are not helping.

ahhhitsshannyn · April 2012

OMIGOD FEZZY IS A MOMMA!

Dear house,

clean yourself up, you look like a whore.

Signed,
Lazy Homeowner

LiveLaughLove04 · April 2012

Dear sickness that has invaded my body,

Go away! You're seriously not welcome here after 2 damn weeks, I would like to sleep through the night.

Signed,

Girl who just wants a good night of sleep

midgetthemighty · April 2012

Dear Stomach,

STFU. You'll be fed in an hour.

Signed,
I know you're hungry but there's nothing I can do right now

Dear Co-Worker,

Really? Please answer my question and don't ask me what something is for when it's clearly labeled. Plus, it's what I've been asking you about all morning. Answering my question with information I already told you I knew is not helpful.

Thanks,
Irritated and confused

Beachy730 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fridays-open-letters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:facc96c0-fc4d-41ad-be8f-12d8889fde1dPost:ee5fd16c-1fd1-4aeb-96e6-c756ab5c8ee1">Re: Friday's Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Beachy, Thank you for that Proactiv refining mask suggestion awhile back. I recently got another zit and applied it early on, and it's the least bad zit I've had in awhile. Smooches, daff
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Awesome, and you're welcome!

</div>

button6004 · April 2012

Dear Starbucks:
When I order my iced coffee with one pump of the sugary syrup, I dont want 6. It tastes like I am drinking a coffee-flavored pixie stick.
Signed-
the girl who really prefers her coffee almost black
____________________________________________
Dear Loan Company Lady:
I hope that karma circles around and smacks you in the face. You dont have to be rude to me on the phone when I call with a question. Really. And you dont have to talk down to me when I say I cant pay you more than what I pay for rent each month. I'm not a loser, I have a good job and I just want to give you money at a reasonable rate.
Signed-
the girl who just wants to be able to pay her bills
____________________________________________
Dear Precious Kitten:
Please stop waking me up early every morning. You might be Mama's little disabled princess, but I need rest. Plus, you could really stand to lose a pound or two. I know you arent hungry, just obsessed with your wet food.
Signed-
the girl with vocal kitties.

chelseamb11 · April 2012

Dear Fox Valley Public Schools,
Please have a French teaching job open for next year. Pretty pretty please.

Love,
No longer guaranteed a job for next year

adamar15 · April 2012

Dear Day,

Please fly by. That's all I ask.

Love,
The girl who just wants to go home

Dear Ex,

Please do not flip out on me when I call you later to discuss the short sale.

Sincerely,
Apprehensive me

Habs2Hart · April 2012

Dear work day,

WHY ARE YOU SO SLOW! Pick up the pace, will ya?

Signed,

Bored Designer
**************************************************************************************

Potential Home Owners,

Where are you?

Signed,

Nervous Designer
**************************************************************************************

Dear Skittles,

I love when you cuddle with me, but attacking me in your sleep because I suddenly have become a pay toy is not okay. Wait until the alarm wakes me up at least.

Sincerely,

Your overtired chew toy.

EmilyW416 · April 2012

Dear uterus/Endo,

I effing hate you. You made me not be able to sleep at all last night. Errrr. And now im exhausted at work

signed

exhausted and over it

Fluffernut · April 2012

Dear Trail Mix,

Please don't jump into my shopping cart anymore. You are the devil. Stop making me eat you.

Sincerely,
The person who ate a half-pound of you the last two nights.

Dear Parents and In-laws,

Please get along this weekend when you meet for the first time. And please don't say anything to embarrass yourselves or us.

Kthxbye.

dumdumfroggie · April 2012

Dear middle aged gentleman at the gas station -

If you're going to wear baggy pants that sink literally half way down your bum as you're bending over to fill your car up with gas, at least put some underpants on. Trust me, no one wants to see that. I would, however, like you to expand on the rant you were giving about how Vietnam wasn't over.

Thanks, me.

[Deleted User] · April 2012

Dear sister,

I realize you're busy, but I've emailed and texted you about 5 times to find out information so I can give you a gift. Please just text me back. It doesn't take that long.

Dear co-worker,

Please stop coming into my cube and touching my stuff. I really dislike it. I've tried to be subtle about it, but I'm about ready to just tell you off.

Snippylynn · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fridays-open-letters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:facc96c0-fc4d-41ad-be8f-12d8889fde1dPost:3b57d041-d904-495c-bba2-4a6d49c5094f">Re: Friday's Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Snips, 11 days. That is all. <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00655KG4O/ref=s9_simh_gw_p351_d0_g351_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=10B2MB573JWK3TNVR5EG&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00655KG4O/ref=s9_simh_gw_p351_d0_g351_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=10B2MB573JWK3TNVR5EG&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846</a> Signed, The other shameful fan
Posted by Beachy730[/QUOTE]
OMG, RIGHT?! I got the email the other day and thought of you!! :D

baystateapple · April 2012

Dear TK IT,
Please give our badges back. I'm still a ways from Platinum, but I would like to have it when I get there. Yes, I realize that this is a silly little detail. Humor me.

Kisses,
Bay

Beachy730 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fridays-open-letters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:facc96c0-fc4d-41ad-be8f-12d8889fde1dPost:9a07774c-87f4-4b4a-a01a-5233d7c0891c">Re: Friday's Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Friday's Open Letters : OMG, RIGHT?! I got the email the other day and thought of you!! :D
Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]<div>Haha I did the same exact thing! I was just very slow to do something about it.

</div>

button6004 · April 2012

Oh, and I have one more...

Dear World of Technology:
PLEASE stop making holograms of people who have passed away. Let's nip this in the bud. Seriously, it creeps me out. And I'm just going to put out there that if I ever do something to become famous and someone makes a hologram of me after my death, I will haunt them. I will come down and ruin their life.

Love,
Me.

adamar15 · April 2012

Dear contacts,

Please stop making it hard to see. I slept with you in ONE TIME. Cut me some slack.

Love,
The girl squinting at the fuzzy writing on her computer

midgetthemighty · April 2012

Dear headphones,

Please don't die on me.

Love,
Can't Deal With Silence

Beachy730 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fridays-open-letters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:facc96c0-fc4d-41ad-be8f-12d8889fde1dPost:3cf176f8-2fb5-4771-8377-851ac1fbb4ef">Re: Friday's Open Letters</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear TK IT, Please give our badges back. I'm still a ways from Platinum, but I would like to have it when I get there. Yes, I realize that this is a silly little detail. Humor me. Kisses, Bay
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

<div>Cosigned,</div><div>Me</div><div>
</div><div>I know they are pointless, but it's all mental. I want that effing platinum badge!</div>

The Mel and Todd Show · April 2012

Dear Ghostbusters Please make sure you're there the next time a Tupac hologram hits the stage. It'd be really funny to me if you turned your proton packs on him and then kicked one of those box things underneath him. Sincerely Chick with more vision than the folks running Coachella

Rosie109 · April 2012

Dear Client,

Please be on today's conference call. I didn't like being stood up last week and I will dislike being stood up this week even more.

Love and kisses,
Moi

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