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I need your expertise

shawna127shawna127 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Catholic Weddings
Hello again :o)  So I have a question.  You know how I said earlier this week that FI was starting RCIA classes?  Well he is terrified to go because he will have to go by himself.  Also I would really like to go with him, I think that would be the best way.  But as I said I am in school in a different town right now so that is not possible.  Anyway, FI is not baptized and I remember someone (I think it may have been bibliophile) saying that if you are married and your H goes through RCIA  when he is finished the marriage automatically becomes sacramental. Is this true?  I graduate this spring, we get married this summer and we do classes that fall (2012) so that I could go with him. Because the more I think about it, and after what you ladies said I think its really important that I go with him to these classes!

So...
1. Does a marriage that was previously not sacramental become sacramental once my FI gets baptized?
2. Does this sound like the right way to go?


Thanks ladies!!! I truly appreciate the feed back!
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Re: I need your expertise

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    agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A baptized person marries a non-baptized person. It is a valid natural marriage. Once the non-baptized person gets baptized, the marriage is automatically a sacrament.

    There is no reason to hesitate becoming Catholic if he believes this is the truth. Delaying for a year would being deny a year's worth of sacraments...which bring infinite grace. If he is Catholic before your marriage, your wedding can be a mass, and both receive the Eucharist...which is what trully unifies you. Multiple sacraments in one day! 

    While its good you want to go with him, perhaps it could be better that he be on his own....this can make (not necessarily, but might) for a clearer discernment for him alone. 
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    professorscienceprofessorscience member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    I know it can be intimidating to be in that room alone, but if he wants to learn, he really should go.  Most RCIAs do a lot to sort of mix and mingle, so hopefully he will make a few friends and not feel so alone.

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    Riss91Riss91 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Is there anyway you could try to make it to just the first class with him, kinda helping him transition? You can also help him make friends there. That way, it softens the anxiety for him?

    I think once he has a friend or two he will feel more comfortable. Also, remind him that most of the people in his class are in the exact same situation and are likely feeling the same way.

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    agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_need-expertise?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:2162f49d-b562-4588-96f0-63700dad94a6Post:1c6146b2-1e11-4ce9-99e9-0a6f3a4d33f1">Re: I need your expertise</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is there anyway you could try to make it to just the first class with him, kinda helping him transition? You can also help him make friends there. That way, it softens the anxiety for him? I think once he has a friend or two he will feel more comfortable. Also, remind him that most of the people in his class are in the exact same situation and are likely feeling the same way.
    Posted by Riss91[/QUOTE]

    <div>He's not 3 years old. He's getting married.</div><div>
    </div><div>I'm sorry, Riss. I love you....you are awesome. But this honestly sounds like a mommy bringing a little boy to pre-school for the first day.</div><div>
    </div><div>Did anyone have anxiety going to their first day of high school? college? big person job? any job?  </div><div>
    </div><div>I'm not negating the need for comfort. RCIA has an inquiry session built in to make first timers more comfortable as they are merely inquiring without commitment. </div>
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    bibliophile2010bibliophile2010 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Honestly, I'm inclined to agree with Agape.

    Is he truly ready to make a committment (or discern a committment) to the Catholic church, or is he doing it for the wedding? Like really, truly, in his heart of hearts, where does he stand? I'm sorry if I'm reading into things, but as nervous as I was to go to my first RCIA class, I knew that the CatholicChurch was it. It was was my heart had been searching for for years, and there was no stopping me.

    If this is truly what he wants, pray with him before his first class (yes, even over the phone) and give him encouragement. He'll call you afterwards and tell you that it went well and all was fine. I'm sure of it.  Like I say, I understand being nervous, I understand he missed a couple of classes for Marriage Prep (was that you?), but it really will be okay. Everyone will surely be friendly and welcoming and probably still feeling things out as well.
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    lmeade62lmeade62
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I knew no one when I went to my first RCIA class, and I think, actually, that was a good thing. If FI had been with me, I may not have reached out to the other people in the class - I would've just stayed in my comfort zone. As it was, that was how I found my sponsor, and made some other very good friends. In some ways, being a stranger is a good thing.

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    shawna127shawna127 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you all this is great advice.  I think he will be just fine I just thought that it would be a great experience for the both of us.  I just thought that if we both went together it would be a way for us to grow together spiritually as well, but I guess you don't need classes to do that lol.  Thanks again!  And we don't start marriage prep classes until this spring and we have to do those together :o)  I'm sure everything will turn out for the best!
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