Is it tacky to have a honeymoon registry?

LADY324 · January 2011

My FI and I already own a home so we have a lot of the stuff that you would normally register for. However we would like a kitchen aide, sheets, towels etc. So in addition to registering at 2 stores do you think it would be tacky to have a honeymoon registry?

They have sites now that are really cute that you can create and have people buy you a snorkeling trip, massages, dinners. So basically they feel like they are actually purchasing something for you and then at the end you just get money that you can put towards the honeymoon. I figured this could be good for the people who prefer to just buy gift cards.

Here is an example of a site.

http://www.honeymoonwishes.com/Honeymoon-Registry-52670-St-Lucia

sgdc2011 · January 2011

We are having one. Some people think it's tacky, but in all honesty, it's just like having a regular registry. It's tacky to tell anyone what to buy you. People are not REQUIRED to buy off of any registry, so I say make it an option, if people choose not to purchase from it, it's their choice. It's the same as getting cash or a check so whats the difference? Do what you feel comfortable with.

JoBell123 · January 2011

Considering you already live together in a fully furnished home and don't NEED anything for your huose, then I think the one where you can purchase actual things (a nice dinner, spa treatment, etc) is a cute idea. It's not like you're saying to people "just send money'.

rutgersgirl82 · January 2011

Personally I think it is a great idea, but we also had one. Our family and friends responded extremely positively to the idea. My mom had put an adorable poem in the shower invite with information about it. We got everything except one item (the biggest ticket one) from our honeymoon registry so I think it was a huge success!

I know it's not for everyone and a lot of people find them to be tacky so I would just say to do what works for you and not worry about everyone else, if they don't like the idea of it they'll buy stuff from your traditional registry.

mbcdefg · January 2011

I voted that it's tacky.

I would pop over to the Honeymoon board and read the registry threads over there. It's generally frowned upon on that board, so I personally wouldn't ask this question there because it'll just get torn apart. Plus it gets asked maybe once a week so there's no real need to create a new thread on the topic anyway.

I've read people over there saying that the money your guests would put into a honeymoon registry might not necessarily go to the item they think they're purchasing for you. And they are charged an additional fee for using that website to give you a honeymoon item. I don't know the details behind all this, so do your research and get some second opinions before committing.

If you are asking for opinions on what to do ... I would set up a small registry with some items you can always use (neutral bedsheets and towels, dishcloths, etc.), maybe a few upgrades to your current things (new toaster, blender) and maybe a few novelty items that you wouldn't normally buy for yourselves (panini press, wafflemaker, ice cream maker, etc.).

And I would quietly tell your mother and bridesmaids that if anyone asks what you want for a gift, they could always reply with, "I know that she has a small registry set up at Macy's, but I also know that they're saving up for some nice dinners and massages and things like that for their honeymoon." That way, people who want to do something for your honeymoon can do so (they'll probably just give you a check or ask your mom/BMs for details on how to directly buy you a honeymoon item), and those who feel more comfortable purchasing a traditional shower gift have a guide to work from. Some people will always want to go the traditional route and buy you a material gift, so you may as well set up a registry so you don't get any weird or unwanted items if they just have to guess at what to buy for you.

ellev · January 2011

I don't think it's tacky in the slightest. It's exactly like giving someone a gift off a regular registry only it's for an experience, not an item. Frankly I'd way rather think of my friends enjoying their sushi dinner on the beach or snorkeling with the porpoises (or whatever people snorkel with these days) than using their handtowel set or salad spinner. We would totally do one if we were going on our honeymoon right after the wedding.

You could always set up a second registry for people who would prefer to give a gift through a traditional registry. That way the older folks and the 'tacky' voters ;=) could do something they felt comfortable with and the cool kids could do honeymoon.

NJhousewife22 · January 2011

I voted tacky. If you already have the "usual" registry stuff, you could go for a non-traditional registry (movies, books etc.) I like mbcdefg's suggestion of having your family gently suggest contributing towards the honeymoon if people inquire.

mbcdefg · January 2011

Cheese and rice, why do I ALWAYS end up writing a damn novel on these boards?!?!?

Condense, MB, CONDENSE!

goaliegirl · January 2011

I have two problems with Honeymoon registries that made me vote tacky. One....many of the websites charge a service fee for me to "purchase" an item on the registry. So, not only do I have to pay for the item, but I have to pay a service fee. That annoys me.
Second, many of them make it look like you get the actual gift, when in reality you get the money that the item would cost and quite frankly you can spend it on whatever the heck you want. So, people really are not purchasing that particular massage or dinner.

Personally, I would never buy anything of a HM registry. We had an apartment and had tons of stuff before being married and I found plenty of things to register for that we wanted to upgrade and/or wanted. I think a HM is a luxury, if you can't afford to pay for all the extras that you want to do then you don't go, or you don't do all the extras. But that is just me!

kristen8040 · January 2011

I vote tacky.

ellev · January 2011

In Response to Re: Is it tacky to have a honeymoon registry?:
Second, many of them make it look like you get the actual gift, when in reality you get the money that the item would cost and quite frankly you can spend it on whatever the heck you want. So, people really are not purchasing that particular massage or dinner.
Posted by goaliegirl[/QUOTE]

Wow, I didn't know that. I definitely like the idea less if that's true of all sites. I never thought for a second that the couple that I bought a gift for on a HM registry didn't just get the gift. I think theirs was through the resort where they spent their HM so it may be different.

felicia220 · January 2011

Honestly, I don't like the idea of it and I would never buy something off a HM Registry. I would rather just give the couple money and get rid of the middle man. We already lived together and has most of what we needed as well. I had a small registry and let people buy or give whatever else they wanted after the registry was all bought. Most people will just give you money anyway if your entire registry is already bought. Let you family spread by word of mouth that you are saving for your HM and people will get the picture, and its not as tacky coming from a family member, as it does from the bride and groom.

VivianM27 · January 2011

I vote tacky. You can accomplish the same thing by excluding the registry information from the invite altogether. This way, when your family members are asked, they can give the polite explanation mentionned above.

Most honeymoon registry websites I have been on look shady to me, so I would never ever give them my credit card information. Plus, many older guests are not going to go on the internet to buy your gift.

Lastly, people like to give things they can touch and see, whether it be a gift or cash. I wouldn't want to give you a printed piece of paper in a card as a gift, nor do I really want to know what you are doing on your honeymoon--that is between you and your husband!

Heather822 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_tacky-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:b02185ce-fe09-4bc8-85c9-f8a062684cd6Post:71694581-0e32-4d41-af80-9580e1c5fe3a">Re: Is it tacky to have a honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]I voted that it's tacky. I would pop over to the Honeymoon board and read the registry threads over there. It's generally frowned upon on that board, so I personally wouldn't ask this question there because it'll just get torn apart. Plus it gets asked maybe once a week so there's no real need to create a new thread on the topic anyway. I've read people over there saying that the money your guests would put into a honeymoon registry might not necessarily go to the item they think they're purchasing for you. And they are charged an additional fee for using that website to give you a honeymoon item. I don't know the details behind all this, so do your research and get some second opinions before committing. If you are asking for opinions on what to do ... I would set up a small registry with some items you can always use (neutral bedsheets and towels, dishcloths, etc.), maybe a few upgrades to your current things (new toaster, blender) and maybe a few novelty items that you wouldn't normally buy for yourselves (panini press, wafflemaker, ice cream maker, etc.). And I would quietly tell your mother and bridesmaids that if anyone asks what you want for a gift, they could always reply with, "I know that she has a small registry set up at Macy's, but I also know that they're saving up for some nice dinners and massages and things like that for their honeymoon." That way, people who want to do something for your honeymoon can do so (they'll probably just give you a check or ask your mom/BMs for details on how to directly buy you a honeymoon item), and those who feel more comfortable purchasing a traditional shower gift have a guide to work from. Some people will always want to go the traditional route and buy you a material gift, so you may as well set up a registry so you don't get any weird or unwanted items if they just have to guess at what to buy for you.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#008080">I agree with all this 1000%.... I think HM registries are tacky & misleading.</font>

</div>

tinydancer842 · January 2011

Tacky - In NJ most people give the couple cash for their wedding -- so just use that to take your HM.

kristen8040 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_tacky-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:b02185ce-fe09-4bc8-85c9-f8a062684cd6Post:f4f16f28-0273-430a-a53b-0601621ffdaa">Re: Is it tacky to have a honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]I vote tacky. You can accomplish the same thing by excluding the registry information from the invite altogether. This way, when your family members are asked, they can give the polite explanation mentionned above. Most honeymoon registry websites I have been on look shady to me, so I would never ever give them my credit card information. Plus, many older guests are not going to go on the internet to buy your gift. <strong>Lastly, people like to give things they can touch and see, whether it be a gift or cash. </strong> I wouldn't want to give you a printed piece of paper in a card as a gift, nor do I really want to know what you are doing on your honeymoon--that is between you and your husband!
Posted by VivianM27[/QUOTE]

<div>So true. When I told my mom I thought people sitting there watching me open presents would be a lame party for everyone, she freaked out and told me that old people love it.</div><div>
</div><div>Think of opening Christmas presents, is it more fun to rip off all the paper and see what gift it is or hold up an envelope to take a pic with?</div><div>
</div><div>Just keep the registry small to things you need and people will get the hint.</div><div>
</div>

GolfChick78 · January 2011

I don't know that it's tacky, but I don't think I would do it. The reality is, "back in the day", the idea of the shower gifts and even the wedding gifts were to help the couple set up house. Helping to pay for your honeymoon is getting pretty far away from that original intention. That and I think people like to give gifts that will last longer than that evening's dinner or massage. So it's not necessarily tacky, but it is VERY far away from the original intent. I would register for what you still need around the house and let others give cash.

hcer0708 · January 2011

I go back and forth on the way i feel about it. In the end no matter what kind of registry you do you are asking for gifts.

There are some honeymoon registries that do not charge a fee such as Marriot and other hotels and travel agents where you can be a gift card.

stapletond · January 2011

Why not just use some of the money given to you as a wedding gift towards the honeymoon?

LADY324 · January 2011

I think everyone missed the part where I said I would be registered at 2 stores as well. I was not going to just have the honeymoon registry. This way people who do not like the idea can still buy a gift. Money is not an issue with us for booking our honeymoon. I just thought that it was a cute idea.

felicia220 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_tacky-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:b02185ce-fe09-4bc8-85c9-f8a062684cd6Post:c12425ee-176c-4be5-997f-b0791df2f3b6">Re: Is it tacky to have a honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think everyone missed the part where I said I would be registered at 2 stores as well. I was not going to just have the honeymoon registry. This way people who do not like the idea can still buy a gift. Money is not an issue with us for booking our honeymoon. I just thought that it was a cute idea.
Posted by LADY324[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't think anyone missed that part, as a matter of fact many people said that if you are going to register at 2 stores there is no point in having a HM registry. IF they are small registries and get bought up, most likely people will just give you money. And I am just not sure your guests will find it to be a cute idea. Its bad enough in our society that it is okay to go to Macy's and make a list that says "hey buy me this stuff" These HM registries are now saying "hey buy me this but you aren't actually buying me this, you are paying a fee to give me money" All I am saying is that if I bought you a "Massage for Two" and then later found out that you really just got the money instead, I would be really upset. </div><div>
</div><div>EDIT: Usually having a HM registry implies needing help to pay for the HM, if money isn't an issue for you, all the more reason for you to not have a HM registry.</div>

cindy91788 · January 2011

I really don't think that doing a registry (not a honeymoon one) is just "asking for gifts". It is a way of giving someone options on what they can purchase you, if they'd like to purchase you a gift. When you have a bridal shower, people normally buy a gift - so it is nice to have an idea of what to purchase. I would never think the person is just asking for gifts by having a registry - I think it is helpful.
As for the honeymoon registries, if the comments above are true, then I wouldn't do it. If the person wouldn't actually be buying you the gift specified on the site, and just the money towards it - and charged a fee on top of that - then that's just silly. They are just giving you money then, so its pretty pointless. If they want to give you money, they can do that without a "honeymoon registry".

37 Butter Knives · January 2011

I hate the word "tacky." Any aspect of any wedding can be called "tacky" by someone.

I would call a conventional honeymoon registry questionable, just because they're so easy for unscrupulous couples to abuse. If there's such a thing as a registry tied to a resort or travel agency that guarantees that the money someone gives for parasailing will only be used for parasailing, that's different. But do they even exist?

Regardless, people like to give tangible items. Cash and checks can be held in the hand and stuffed in an envelope. Sending money through a honeymoon registry online is kind of like wiring money.

kristen8040 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_tacky-honeymoon-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:b02185ce-fe09-4bc8-85c9-f8a062684cd6Post:e40d9566-543d-4e13-846c-54ccf9536023">Re: Is it tacky to have a honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE] EDIT: Usually having a HM registry implies needing help to pay for the HM, if money isn't an issue for you, all the more reason for you to not have a HM registry.
Posted by felicia220[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto</div>

Is it tacky to have a honeymoon registry?

Re: Is it tacky to have a honeymoon registry?

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