Who's name goes first?

wifeandmommy0609 · July 2010

Fl and I are having a debate about who's name goes first.

I got our Flutes engraved and put my name first. Well he was a little upset saying the Guys name goes first.

So I am asking for your advice..

Thanks In advance!

P.s we are paying for the wedding so i was wondering for wedding invites, Monagrams and more on who's name i put first!

Kati0105 · July 2010

I put Other since "I think it's super weird that your FI was upset by that" wasn't an option.

wifeandmommy0609 · July 2010

Him and his dad said the guys name should go first because it should be once your married "MR and MRS Last Name..." that is why it should be guys name first!

AllAboutTheBenjamin · July 2010

Who cares?

fangsiting · July 2010

Does he make you walk 5 paces behind him when you go out?

wifeandmommy0609 · July 2010

Fangsiting.. NO he doesn't.. Thanks for asking!

tenofcups4me · July 2010

They're right that Mr. goes first when it's Mr. and Mrs, and they share a last name.

But when you're using names without titles, before or after marriage, the woman's name goes first (so Jane and John OR Jane and John Smith OR Jane Smith and John Doe or Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Doe). And if you're married and don't have the same last name, the woman also goes first (Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith).

NillaWafer10 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whos-name-goes-first?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b88b4e7-d8f6-4442-a6c5-7811ac6e69e7Post:04ba8054-7920-4d2e-b1d6-76d15f516d30">Re: Who's name goes first?</a>:
[QUOTE]They're right that Mr. goes first when it's Mr. and Mrs, and they share a last name. But when you're using names without titles, before or after marriage, the woman's name goes first (so Jane and John OR Jane and John Smith OR Jane Smith and John Doe or Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Doe). And if you're married and don't have the same last name, the woman also goes first (Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith).
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

This.

wifeandmommy0609 · July 2010

Thanks Ladies...

sky7563 · July 2010

Agree with tenofcups above. It would be your name first on the invites as well. I know someone who was upset when he got married because she kept putting her name first for everything. I explained to him that it is supposed to be this way and why. He was fine after he was educated on it. He just didn't know she was actually doing it the proper way. Maybe he just needs some information too.

Lisa8888 · July 2010

Woman's name goes first.

loving2011 · July 2010

So it is weird that your FI got weirded out about the placement of his name. Does he have issues with self-esteem?

It doesn't matter the order, in the grand scheme of things, but to settle the argument I always do alphabetical- just the way my brain thinks.

temerityjane · July 2010

Wow, some of you are being serious jerkfaces.

Kristin789 · July 2010

A man's first name is never separated from his last name.

So when you are using the last name, it looks like this:
Jane and John Doe

And when you are not using the last name,
you use the same construction - just without the last name:
Jane and John

Kreskin79 · July 2010

I'm guessing that you two must be a bit stressed with all the planning. There is a conventional way in which to order the names, but it doesn't truly matter, does it? I suppose that to keep the peace, the person to whom it matters more could make the decision.

brookelynpaisley · July 2010

Traditionally, you don't separate a man's first and last names, so the woman's name would come first, i.e. Jane and John Smith.

APW2010 · July 2010

The woman's name goes first.

Of course, on my invites we put his name first because he cared and I didn't and we're not very traditional, so really, do what works for you.

wifeandmommy0609 · August 2010

@ loving- no he doesn't thanks for asking though!

@ temerityjane Thanks.

To me it doesn't matter.. But I didn't know if there was a "right" way to put the names.

I love how some people can be so rude when a question is asked (when the poster never said anything Rude to anyone in the post).

"Gotta love some peoples kids"

Thanks to everyone who responded!

banana468 · August 2010

Just out of curiosity, what's his stance now? :-)

wifeandmommy0609 · August 2010

@banana, He understand's it now!

abster00 · November 2010

I put other the girls name goes first unless it is for the bar then the guys name goes first

polichik · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whos-name-goes-first?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8b88b4e7-d8f6-4442-a6c5-7811ac6e69e7Post:2ec9ec98-692b-498e-b7dc-21e55bd75c66">Re: Who's name goes first?</a>:
[QUOTE]I put other the girls name goes first unless it is for the bar then the guys name goes first
Posted by abster00[/QUOTE]

What?

Who's name goes first?

Re: Who's name goes first?

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