Not Engaged Yet

I get it really

I think its wonderful how all of you can really poke fun at someone.  I'm not asking to make friends here.  I do however want to thank you guys for your efforts to make feel very unwelcome.  Thank you for your efforts to hurt my feelings and degrade me in every possible way.  I will gladly leave this forum and this site. 

Re: I get it really

  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Danielle I'm going to be completely honest with you right now.  Here's what I've got:

    This is an open internet forum.  People are going to make fun, people are going to judge you,  you're going to annoy people and people are going to annoy you.  The challenge is to rise above this and try to enjoy yourself.  Contribute to conversations and work your way in.  Ask questions.  Play along with the jokes and pokes instead of getting offended by them. 

    Your billboard style of posting does bother me.  Spell check is your friend.  Get to know the vibe of the board and roll with it.  It's not that people don't want to know you (wow, look at me speaking for the board...sorry ladies) but I think jumping in the way you did threw people off.  It was like a stranger running up and saying "Hi! I just did yadda yadda yadda..."  You'd give them the side-eye too, right?  

     I think you're honestly a nice person - you just don't quite fit in or know the way things work around here...that's something that happens to people all the time.  But if you seriously want to be here no one can tell you not to be.  

    Just my thoughts.

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    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
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  • edited December 2011
    Well said Paige. I agree.
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  • redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9fefb829-a3d5-49ce-9f3d-d0a9e51669a8Post:3efee68c-24dc-414b-8ab1-30d4a58a6545">I get it really</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think its wonderful how all of you can really poke fun at someone.  I'm not asking to make friends here.  I do however want to thank you guys for your efforts to make feel very unwelcome.  Thank you for your efforts to hurt my feelings and degrade me in every possible way.  I will gladly leave this forum and this site. 
    Posted by Danielle284[/QUOTE]

    Sorry you feel attacked. When people tell you to lurk they are not trying to scare you away, but are just telling you that you need to get a feel for the forum before you post. Every board on the knot has a different feel. Some are very puppies and rainbows and some are not.

    Also, new girls coming on way too strong get a reaction. So just hang out for awhile and get to know how the boards work.

    Also, your posts (at least the few that I have read) have a lot of emotions. Try to take everything that gets said with a grain of salt. Dramatic posts/ reactions to comments make everyone give you the side-eye.

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  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Here's the thing, Danielle.  The girls on here are really, and often brutally, honest.  If you make a post that they think deserves to be made fun of, they won't hesitate to respond accordingly.  However, if, the next day, you may a perfectly relevant, well-worded post, they'll answer kindly and will pretty much completely forget what you said before.  Nobody is holding grudges here, and most girls won't go out of their way to make fun (though a couple will, apparently).

    My advice:  give yourself a clean slate, because I know everyone will be willing to give it to you.  Proceed with caution, and make sure your next couple of posts are relevant and mostly free of spelling and grammar errors.  If they do make fun of you for something, just laugh along with them instead of getting riled up.  There's no need to allow these people to upset you.  It's an online forum and is not worth your emotions.

    Good luck!
  • edited December 2011
    I don't know what else to say.  I have taken the time to spell check.  I apologise for all my previous post.  I did not know it was that big of deal to everyone.  It is very easy when your typing to forget a letter, or get more of the same one.

    I know that since i have got the wrath from everyone.  I have spell checked at least the last 7 post.  I have reread them.  I still have everyone telling me the same thing as if i'm still typing like an idiot.

    I guess you have all just confirmed what my mom has always told me.  I'm stupid.  I'm not going anywhere in life.  I choose not to believe that and work hard.  Proved them wrong with dental assisting. 

    So for all of you have liked to see me suffer and make fun of me on here.  I'll admit to you that i'm stupid.  Obviously as hard as i worked to show you that i am smart, you just can't get over what was in the past.
  • KatyRoseMKatyRoseM member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Your not stupid, or at least we have no way to know if you were.  Don't let people who don't know you have this much of an impact (if you can help it, its not easy I know). 

    Yes people on here are harsh about spelling, I have a hard time with it too.  Spelling is not a good way to determine intelligence, or even education.  People on here can be harsh, and I don't know what to say about that.  I almost didn't start posting after seeing how people reacted to simple spelling errors (I'm dyslexic, and lets just say its a week spot for me) but eventually you'll see they arn't so scary.

    I hope you don't really let people here make you feel stupid, we don't know you well enough to know anything about you. 
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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I give up.  I'm done.

    "Popular on the internetz..."
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    Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
    Murried Bio
  • edited December 2011
    Danielle, I am going to say this in the kindest way possible...

    If you are going to let a bunch of strangers whom you've never met and you have no tangible connection to dictate your personal opinion of yourself, then internet messaging forums are not a good thing for you to be investing your time in. I'm not therapist, but it sounds like there are things in your past or current life that you need to resolve if you can let something as, well, inconsequential and ridiculous as a wedding forum, make you this miserable.

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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks katierose.  In the beginning i didn't go back and reread my post.  I didn't choose to spell check them.  However i have now.  I'm still getting the third degree.  Everyone is still stating to me that i need to watch my spelling.  I've got that i don't fit in here.  My post make no sense.  That i'm a dimwit.  I post nothing of interest, that no one can have a conversation off of.  I need to go to twitter if i want to update every detail of my wedding.  Lurker it is for me.
  • HeartOverMindHeartOverMind member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9fefb829-a3d5-49ce-9f3d-d0a9e51669a8Post:9088efca-00cf-4524-8174-fb0366ce931a">Re: I get it really</a>:
    [QUOTE] I guess you have all just confirmed what my mom has always told me.  I'm stupid.  I'm not going anywhere in life.  I choose not to believe that and work hard.  Proved them wrong with dental assisting.  So for all of you have liked to see me suffer and make fun of me on here.  I'll admit to you that i'm stupid.  Obviously as hard as i worked to show you that i am smart, you just can't get over what was in the past.
    Posted by Danielle284[/QUOTE]

    Danielle,
    I've read all of this drama and it's really making me uncomfortable and I'm sure others feel the same way. I'm sorry to hear that you have gone through so much in your life, no one should have gone through that. But as Nietzsche said: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. 

    I think that some of these posts were mean and uncalled for, but it seems to me that you provoked them by coming back and making it worse. I'm new too and it's not that bad. I've had people give me some really great advice. I lurked for a while before I posted or even commented on anything and it makes for a better experience. I know you're going to do whatever you want but you need to stop playing the victim. We don't know you and you should only tell a bunch of strangers certain things and I think you have taken it too far. I think if you leave The Knot that might be a good idea, but you could stay. If you do stay, then don't post for a while and just lurk.  Then when you feel you could post then be careful what you post.
    "Why does a girl have to be so silly to catch a husband?" ~~~Scarlett O'Hara Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well said Heart, well said.

    "Popular on the internetz..."
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    Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
    Murried Bio
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9fefb829-a3d5-49ce-9f3d-d0a9e51669a8Post:d834d868-54e7-431f-a35f-6bebf87406a9">Re: I get it really</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well said Heart, well said.
    Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

    Ditto.

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  • HeartOverMindHeartOverMind member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Smile

    I try!
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  • edited December 2011
    I think you need to stop playing the victim card. I'm sorry that you had it rough growing up and didn't have the same educational options that other people did but you can't let that define you. I lose a lot of respect for people who constantly pull the woe is me card and don't do anything about their situation.

    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. YOU are responsible for making yourself happy.

    I don't think you're stupid, naive maybe but not stupid.
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  • deburnindeburnin member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Danielle,

    How many times have you said that you're done with this board and this issue? People have given you a lot of good advice yet again in this thread. Listen to them. Stop playing the victim card. Letting an internet forum get to you to the point where you start putting yourself down isn't healthy for one thing and it also screams AW at some points which I don't think is what you're going for. 

    People are just repeating the same advice to you and you're just offering up more excuses. Were some people a little harsh? Yes, but this is the internet. That's how things work. You calling people, even though you apologized for it later, "snobby bitches" and swearing up a storm did not help the situation. People were unable to take you seriously after that. I think everyone needs step away from the issue. 
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9fefb829-a3d5-49ce-9f3d-d0a9e51669a8Post:d856daa6-d09e-4f4c-be64-554ca3b19f6a">Re: I get it really</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks katierose.  In the beginning i didn't go back and reread my post.  I didn't choose to spell check them.  However i have now.  I'm still getting the third degree.  Everyone is still stating to me that i need to watch my spelling.  I've got that i don't fit in here.  My post make no sense.  That i'm a dimwit.  I post nothing of interest, that no one can have a conversation off of.  I need to go to twitter if i want to update every detail of my wedding.  Lurker it is for me.
    Posted by Danielle284[/QUOTE]


    I have completely stayed away from this overly dramatic thread because frankly I didn't feel the need to get involved. However, this thread bugs me to no end. Danielle - I think you are a kind person with a difficulty in LISTENING to people. While some things went overboard, you also brought much of it on yourself. Instead of just taking something and walking away you decided to post your ENTIRE life story.

    Heart was correct in saying that that it is extremely uncomfortable (Heart that is what you were referring to, correct?) for others on the board. Trust me I have taken my fair share here but I did not become so beyond defensive that I needed to continually deflect all of the comments that were made and read into them something that was not there to begin with. This thread especially is just over the top for me.

    No one attacked you in this post they were simply reminding you what to do and giving you<strong> HELPFUL</strong> words of wisdom if you are planning on sticking around. Instead of just accepting the information, processing it and then taking a break from posting - you jumped in<em> again </em>dredging up the fact that you were a "dimwit" ect, ect. It truly does sound like you have a lot of unresolved emotional issues (I'm not saying that in a disrespectful way) but this is really not the place to air it all out.

    I may only speak for myself here but if you are going to keep threatening to GBCK then... do it. Don't keep coming back for more. Using your childhood issues to make people feel sorry for you is most definitely manipulative and taking the victim role to the extreme. You say you're still getting the third degree however you seem to be making it that way all by yourself. You went through all this and then turned around and posted again (there is nothing wrong with that) but goodness, girl --- it's too much for even me.

    I hope you do listen and actually find your niche here if you choose to stick around. You aren't a bad person just a little lost it seems.
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  • HeartOverMindHeartOverMind member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9fefb829-a3d5-49ce-9f3d-d0a9e51669a8Post:b18bff8b-be9a-4649-a5b5-02fa3c40e727">Re: I get it really</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:  While some things went overboard, you also brought much of it on yourself. Instead of just taking something and walking away you decided to post your ENTIRE life story. Heart was correct in saying that that it is extremely uncomfortable (Heart that is what you were referring to, correct?) for others on the board. Posted by nottheonlydreamer44[/QUOTE]

    Yes, that is exactly what I was referring to.
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  • jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9fefb829-a3d5-49ce-9f3d-d0a9e51669a8Post:9088efca-00cf-4524-8174-fb0366ce931a">Re: I get it really</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't know what else to say.  I have taken the time to spell check.  I apologise for all my previous post.  I did not know it was that big of deal to everyone.  It is very easy when your typing to forget a letter, or get more of the same one. I know that since i have got the wrath from everyone.  I have spell checked at least the last 7 post.  I have reread them.  I still have everyone telling me the same thing as if i'm still typing like an idiot.<strong> I guess you have all just confirmed what my mom has always told me.  I'm stupid.  I'm not going anywhere in life.  I choose not to believe that and work hard.  Proved them wrong with dental assisting.  So for all of you have liked to see me suffer and make fun of me on here.  I'll admit to you that i'm stupid.  Obviously as hard as i worked to show you that i am smart, you just can't get over what was in the past.</strong>
    Posted by Danielle284[/QUOTE]

    All I can say to this is that you seem to have way more problems in your life than just how people react to your posts on this board.  I'm saying this is the least "mean" way I possibly can because I'm honestly concerned for you, I think you should look into talking to a therapist. You clearly have issues that you really need to deal with and unfortunately, none of us here are able to give you the kind of talks that you need.  Keep in mind that for the most part, this is a pretty fun, light-hearted board.  Sure, we may poke fun at people, etc, but you really can't let an anonymous forum dictate your feelings.

    I wish you the best and hope that you can stick around, but honestly, if the responses you get truly make you feel this way, I don't think this is going to end up being a healthy place for you to spend your time.
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