BM measurements and ordering dresses

balasj · August 2010

So one of my BM is a dear friend but isn't always up on the girly things like dresses nor is she the most organized/punctual. Of my 5 BM she is the only one outstanding who hasn't gotten measured for and ordered the dress yet. I know she's not super into wedding stuff - and I try to avoid too mcuh wedding convo with her - but I also suspect it is because she has put on a few pounds and has been hoping to lose them first which she mentioned to me when we went to look at BM dresses. However, its been a few months since she said that and I haven't seen a change. My thought is that she should just order the dress as she is now and it can always be taken in. But I'm not sure how to nudge her to get measured and place the order as weight can be a sensitive issue... I also don't want her to order too small of a size expecting she'll fit and then not...

Touchy subject, I know, but I want to stay organized and get the order placed soon. Any thoughts on how to approach this???

mbcdefg · August 2010

"The shop needs your measurements by [date]. The next day they'll be placing the order no matter what, so anyone who hasn't submitted her measurements won't be included in the order. If you order any later than that, you will have to pay a rush fee, and if you order too late the dress won't arrive in time for the wedding. If there's anything I can do to help out, please let me know."

Then leave it up to her.

emilyinchile · August 2010

Tell her the final date to order her dress without a rush fee and the final date to order with a rush fee. Tell her that one time, and then let her figure it out.

She might get the dress elsewhere (online, second hand, whatever), so even if the "last date" passes don't freak out because it doesn't necessarily mean she's secretly dropped out of your wedding and just hasn't told you, and reminding her multiple times is annoying and will probably just create unnecessary drama from her feeling nagged and you feeling stressed. Ordering the dress and making sure it fits is the one thing she really do have to do as a BM, so let her do that without making it your concern.

MairePoppy · August 2010

Is your wedding 6/11/11? It seems early to order bm dresses. You should find out what the latest date would be to order the dress. Give the information to your bm and trust her to get the dress ordered on time.

balasj · August 2010

Thanks, ladies. Yes, we're next June. I know we have time but I just like to keep on top of things. Not to mention I know some of them are slow based on their personalities. (I'm also paranoid that there will be a mistake or something so I'm allowing a little extra buffer...)

Manwaithiel · August 2010

You are way too far out for to be worrying about her ordering a dress. My wedding is literally 2 weeks before yours and my girls aren't getting dresses until next February.

Stop worrying.

trix1223 · August 2010

You're saying "My wedding is only 10 months away!!!! I like to stay on top of things!!!" Your WP is saying "Her freakin' wedding isn't for 10 months. Why do I need to buy a dress NOW?"

FWIW: A lot can change in 10 months. Someone can literally get pregnant and deliver a baby before your wedding. They can gain weight. They can lose weight.

I get that you "like to say on top of things" but honestly, this is one of those things that just doesn't need to be done now.

And as for the comments: Not to mention I know some of them are slow based on their personalities. I hope you don't mean that how it came out, because it came out as really condescending and mean spirited.

AND (I'm also paranoid that there will be a mistake or something so I'm allowing a little extra buffer...) A little extra buffer is two weeks, not 6 months.

aerinpegadrak · August 2010

Remember that it's fine for you to want to plan stuff early, but don't expect other people to be on your timeframe, you'll only be disappointed.

If you know someone to be exceptionally flakey, I think you could go so far as to email her the deadline so that she has it in writing, and maybe attach it as a Google Calendar appointment or something. I'd reserve that for "forgetting their own last name" types, though.

stina93446 · August 2010

It's way too early to order the dresses. What if someone gets pregnant or gains weight?! I started losing weight in April and I've lost over 20 pounds. A lot can happen in 10 months!

emilyinchile · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-measurements-ordering-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ed822e45-d505-4135-92c7-8dd7681f9ef1Post:8eeb6e19-08db-40a8-8816-f415ce87c027">Re: BM measurements and ordering dresses</a>:
[QUOTE]It's way too early to order the dresses. What if someone gets pregnant or gains weight?! I started losing weight in April and I've lost over 20 pounds. A lot can happen in 10 months!
Posted by stina93446[/QUOTE]

Stina, I had no idea you'd lost that much already - congrats!

And OP, if the other girls have already ordered then fine, but since my advice was to just tell your BM the absolute final date to order according to the bridal shop, she may well not get around to ordering for several more months, and that's ok too. No need to pressure her now.

stina93446 · August 2010

Aw thanks Emily. I try not to post the exact number anywhere. Last thing I need is family members saying "how many points is that stuffing?" like they actually care.

But yes, I've lost 23 pounds. Yeah!!! It's awesome and I can still eat the things I love.

mbcdefg · August 2010

Oh! I didn't even see that your date is next June.

Ditto PPs. It's insane to be ordering BM dresses this early out.

Like PPs said, what happens if someone's weight drastically changes or she gets pregnant? What if you see dresses that you love even more than these? Then you're back to square one. This is why you shouldn't be ordering dresses so far in advance.

You may want to keep on top of things, which is fine, but it's extremely unreasonable to demand that your BMs do things this far in advance as well. Tackle your other projects that don't require other people to be involved, and let the BMs worry about this around the 4-6 month mark. Ordering this far in advance could prove to be a real inconvenience for all of you.

emilyinchile · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-measurements-ordering-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:ed822e45-d505-4135-92c7-8dd7681f9ef1Post:644a91d7-672d-4bda-8100-8cf8ae00d3f8">Re: BM measurements and ordering dresses</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with pp, too soon to be worried about this. <strong>However, keep in mind that most bridal salons will not order any of the dresses until all have been measured and deposits placed. So figure out what the drop dead date is to order and then tell her it is 3 weeks before that.</strong> For June I am guessing no sooner than February so they have time to arrive and your ladies have time to get any alterations done in time. Frankly I would have everyone get measured again when it gets closer to the order date cause pp are right what if someone gets pregnant or gains/loses weight? Good luck!
Posted by mica001[/QUOTE]

No. She doesn't have to order from the same salon, and if she's really lagging then OP can just tell the salon she has one less BM and have them order the other dresses.

BM measurements and ordering dresses

Re: BM measurements and ordering dresses

Choose Another Board

Search Boards