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September 2010 Weddings

Unity Candle????


My finace and I are having a civil ceremony, with the intention of having a small Catholic ceremony on our 1 year anniversary when his annullment is finalized.

I have heard that lighting a unity candle is a religous symbol and also heard that is it not.  It was my thought that we would, but now i'm wondering if we are not supposed to.  Any ideas?
~Jen
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Re: Unity Candle????

  • Hey- not trying to be a downer... but I don't know if you can have a civil service then have a Cathoic ceremony---check with your priest/ local parish.... laws/rules might be different state to state....I'm in NY and we couldn't do that here.....just an FYI...
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  • Ditto Ferdy.
    I'm not catholic, but I know that they usually won't perform a catholic ceremony if you are already legally married.
    Even if you didn't have the civil ceremony, i'm not sure if they could perform the catholic ceremony since your FI is getting an annullment.
    Don't quote me, but it's something that you might want to look into.

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  • we met with our priest last week (catholic) and he said pretty much what pp said.
    We were thinking about getting married in court a few months before the ceremony but he said they wouldn't allow it. We have to provide a marriage license to him the night before the wedding to be filled out by him
    Also we had to fill out a bunch of paperwork stating that we have never been married before and will not be married before 9-18.
    Don't mean to be a downer and like Ferdy said maybe its different state to state were getting married in Illinois
    as far as the unity candle my IL priest is ok with it, but when we were getting married in NY, they said no, as it is not considered a catholic ritual. (his words not mine)
    I think it really matters what your priest thinks... gl!!!

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  • I agree with the others. I don't think it's as much to do with the state as it does with the Catholic religion in general. I'm thinking you're going to have to pick one or the other
  • Two things:

    1. The unity candle is not necessarily a religious thing; in fact, some ministers won't allow them in ceremonies.  It means whatever you and you FI want it to mean, and should be fine for a civil ceremony, just ask beforehand if it's ok.

    2.  It is very unlikely that you can have a Catholic ceremony after a civil ceremony.  For one thing, if you've been married once, you can't get married again, Catholic or not.  If you're talking about a vow renewal or something, that's not how the Catholic church works.  There are circumstances where you can later have your marriage recognized by the Catholic church (sorry, I don't know the terms!), but you'll have to meet with a priest in your parish to see if it's something you'll be able to do.  It's better to wait for the annulment to go through and follow the normal course of events, as much as it stinks to wait.
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  • I have to agree with the other girls.  My FI is actually going through the annulment process right now.  If it isn't completed by March (it's been 4 months so far), we will be pushing our date back because that will give us less than 6 months.  We had talked about doing a civil ceremony and then have the marriage Blessed afterwards (as you cannot have a Catholic ceremony if you already had a civil ceremony, the most you can do is have the marriage blessed). 

    I can't imagine a Catholic church not obeying the Catholic "rules."  Sorry to be a downer, but I just want to make sure you know before you go ahead and do something and can't change it... 
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