Wedding Invitations & Paper

invitation wording - one deceased parent

Google has led me to conflicting information (surprise)

I think I'm getting stuck on the definition of "host" as it relates to who is hosting the wedding and should be put on the invitations.  My parents have been very generous in their time and money to help plan and pay for our wedding and we're grateful.  However, my mother is recently deceased.  She obviously won't be there to be a host, but she has been involved in so much of the event planning already, it seems strange to leave  her name off of the invitation.  We don't want to use a "together with..." we want to name people.  Also, FI's parents are divorced and have different last names.

Is it appropriate to use:

Mr. Bride'sFatherFirst MI Last
and the late Bride'sMotherFirst MI Last
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
MyFirst MyMiddle
to
Mr. FIFirst FIMiddle FILast
son of FI'sMomFirst MI Last and
FI'sDad First MI Last.

Saturday, the ninth of October
Two thousand ten
at half after eleven o'clock in the morning
Church Name
Church Street Address
Church City, State

Any changes that need to be made to that?  Line breaks, wording, punctuation?  Am I completely off-base to want my mother's name on it?  Am I going to creep people out?


Re: invitation wording - one deceased parent

  • Somebody who is no longer alive cannot request the honor of my presence.  IMO, they simply do not belong on invitations.  Honor them in your program.
    Married 10/2/10
  • If FI's parents are divorced, you may want to remove the "and" between their names, as the and generally implies that the couple is married.

    My father passed away not too long ago, but I'm not listing his name on our invitation.  He will have a spot of honor in our program, but it didn't feel right to me to list him as requesting someone's presence to attend the wedding.
  • Thanks guys, this is the kind of thing I need to hear. My friends and some of my family keep saying it's OK to have her name, but I think we're all too close to the situation to make a good decision on our own. 

    Without her I would just take out the second line and adjust the wording to "requests" and "his" instead of "request" and "their", respectively. 

    For FI's parents, regarding that the "and" signifies marriage, would I just not put anything in its place?  Is it alright to have just son of FI's Mom /line break/ FI's Dad without a word in-between?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-one-deceased-parent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:a6b5e676-ffab-4fbe-8714-29bd4ca07dadPost:b43eba53-3ab6-43a5-ba75-9899d76f5112">Re: invitation wording - one deceased parent</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks guys, this is the kind of thing I need to hear. My friends and some of my family keep saying it's OK to have her name, but I think we're all too close to the situation to make a good decision on our own.  Without her I would just take out the second line and adjust the wording to "requests" and "his" instead of "request" and "their", respectively.  <strong>For FI's parents, regarding that the "and" signifies marriage, would I just not put anything in its place?  Is it alright to have just son of FI's Mom /line break/ FI's Dad without a word in-between?</strong>
    Posted by pirategal03[/QUOTE]

    That's how it's done!
    imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers
  • One other thing I noticed is an inconsistent use of titles.  You have "Mr." First/Last name in a few spots but not for everyone.  I would add them for everyone or take this out for the few people that have them.
    imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers

  • You can have your mom's name on the invite.  My mom is also deceased, but she passed 8 years ago.  I think that if my mom had been involved in some of the planning I would be inclined to put her name on the invitation.  However, as PP said she cannont host at this point. So it could go:

    Mr. Brides father requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of his daughter
    Bride - to - be
    daughter of the late Bride's mother
    to the marriage of
    Groom to be
    son of Mr and Mrs Groom's parents

    This way, your mom is on the invite and it doesn't seem as she is hosting the reception.

    I am truly sorry for your loss.  If you need any ideas on how to honor your  mom's memory at your wedding, please feel free to contact me!
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  • Sorry..I didn't see that your groom's parents are divorced.  This is exactly the same as my invite!!  Although in the end, I left off my mom.  :( 

    The rest of your invite should read

    To (skip the marriage of part - sorry I am tired!) Groom
    Son of Mom of Groom
    and
    Dad of Groom. 

    It is ok if they have different last names.  I did the same on mine with my FI parents.
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  • DD and FSIL chose to list it as

    Snowbell,
    daughter of Abner and Mary Martha Doright

    and

    Irving,
    son of Romeo+ and Natalia Studebaker

    to denote that his father is deceeased, the plus sign you see above is a small cross. FSIL didn't want something elaborate, just something very simple.

    They plan to do the same thing on the programs for the wedding. Everyone is pleased with it. His dad would have been too.


  • It's really not appropriate to put your parents' name(s) between you and your groom on the invite.  It's sort of symbolic.  Your wedding day is about bring you and your groom together in marriage - no longer with your parents in between you. 

    You can much more appropriately include your mother in the programs. 
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
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