Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? [bit long, blugh]

sweetpea0911 · December 2010

FMIL and I went to a bridal show together, and ran into a florist, who happened to graduate from high school with her. He's pretty well known in their area, and was WAY out of our price range, but when he heard I was marrying into the family, he insisted we come down to meet with him. So FI and I went, with FMIL, to discuss flowers for the wedding - he agreed to give us a steep discount and it all sounded great. I was promised a contract within the week.

Two months later, I have not heard one word from the florist and I have not received a contract. FI and I have both called, separately, looking for the contract - the secretary was really rude to me, but decent to FI - and both times the end of the conversation was "We will get you the contract by the end of the week", and we've gotten nothing. I told FI after the last time I called (almost a month ago) that I was now really wary about signing a contract with a vendor with really cruddy communication about what's going on, and failing to deliver a piece of paper to my email so I can sign it and pay him tons of money for flowers.

FI told me today he came home from work and his mom said, "Oh, [florist] called me about your contract, he said SweetPea gave them the wrong email address...I gave them mine, I should have it tomorrow." I'm a little upset - my phone number, as well as FI's, were on the file I saw him put together for us. We both called and left not only our phone numbers again, but I double checked the spelling of both my email and FI's email when I called. He would have had to search for FMIL's phone number to call her and get the info - something he couldn't even be bother to do when FI or I called in (we both talked to the secretary).

Am I getting upset over nothing? FILs did decide to pay for the flowers/centerpieces for the reception (this was decided AFTER the meeting with the florist), but FI and I are still the ones putting our name on the dotted line for this - and if the vendor can't be bothered to call me, that raises some alarm bells for me. What do you think?

PsyDet 2155 · December 2010

For my photographer, my Dad (who is paying for our wedding), was the main contact person on the contract because he was paying for the service even though it's for FI and me. I don't think it's too big of a deal as long as you get some say in what the floral arrangements look like.

brooke.anne · December 2010

I would be worried as well. I think anytime a vendor has poor communication skills, or even lackthereof it is not a good sign. I also would not like the fact that the receptionist was rude. It is not professional and I wouldn't support a business that ran like that.

So, no I don't think you are out of line. I would look around at other options and go with someone that you feel more comfortable with.

WildRumpus · December 2010

I think you have a right to be upset. HOWEVER, if FMIL and FFIL have decided to pay for the flowers, and that's something that you want them to do, then I would probably just suck it up. Could it be possible that the secretary didn't pass along your messages? When you email the contract back, I would politely mention the difficulty you had getting in touch with him.

katiewhompus · December 2010

I would either go with someone else or have fmil/ffil put their names on the contract. At this point it wouldn't amaze me if they started changing stuff because you are signing and not fmil.

sweetpea0911 · December 2010

They're only paying for the reception flowers - FI and I are still paying for the flowers for the ceremony (the bouts and corsages and bouquets and blah blah blah). If FMIL was willing to sign the contract/pay for it, I'd be fine with her being our contact point - but she's not. She point-blank told FI we both have to sign it.

It just aggravates me that he can search for her number, but not open a file with our numbers already in it. Not JUST mine, but FI's too. And I really want to look for another florist now, but I'm almost afraid that we won't be able to find someone who will give us everything this florist would for a decent price (like I said, STEEP discount.)

WildRumpus · December 2010

Yeah, I guess I missed the part about them paying for reception flowers. I would absolutely go with someone else, and just pay for all of the flowers myself.

katiewhompus · December 2010

I would just go with someone else then even if it meant sacrificing some flowers or looking at other places in your budget. I figure if they are treating you like this before they have your money, what will happen after you've signed a contract?

sweetpea0911 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-making-mountain-out-of-molehill-bit-long-blugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b42def7c-bbf1-496f-bc00-d4367771cff1Post:2307ff7c-7215-42b8-bddb-22c8dfb473a1">Re: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? [bit long, blugh]</a>:
[QUOTE]I would just go with someone else then even if it meant sacrificing some flowers or looking at other places in your budget.<strong> I figure if they are treating you like this before they have your money, what will happen after you've signed a contract?</strong>
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Bah, Mrs. Whompus, why must you be so sensible? ;) *sigh* Looks likes its back to the drawing board for florists. I can just hear the conversation with FMIL now....

</div>

brooke.anne · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-making-mountain-out-of-molehill-bit-long-blugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b42def7c-bbf1-496f-bc00-d4367771cff1Post:2307ff7c-7215-42b8-bddb-22c8dfb473a1">Re: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? [bit long, blugh]</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I would just go with someone else then even if it meant sacrificing some flowers or looking at other places in your budget. </strong>I figure if they are treating you like this before they have your money, what will happen after you've signed a contract?
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree. I don't think it would be worth it to stay with them for some extra floral arrangements or whatever. I would rather have my piece of mind knowing that I was with a professional company and not worrying what was going to happen next.</div>

WildRumpus · December 2010

Just be honest with her, have FI back you up, and you'll be fine

sweetpea0911 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-making-mountain-out-of-molehill-bit-long-blugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b42def7c-bbf1-496f-bc00-d4367771cff1Post:36c5596d-ada3-43e8-86a6-65a321fcc91f">Re: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? [bit long, blugh]</a>:
[QUOTE]Just be honest with her, have FI back you up, and you'll be fine
Posted by Jill9288[/QUOTE]

<div>Even with FI backing me up, this would require her not feeling as though it was "bad etiquette" to meet with someone and then not book them. Yes, this has been a discussion before....</div>

sweetpea0911 · December 2010

mrs.jesse, have I ever told you I find you to be a genius? I didn't even think of that!

MegaMultitasker · December 2010

If a vendor is giving you this much grief BEFORE you even have a contract with them, RUN. You are setting yourself up for a ton of grief.

Also, if you and Fi's name goes on the contract--YOU are legally obligated to pay for it, and are responsible for any balances if for some reason your FMIL falls thru and can't pay for it. You need to be ready for that possiblity--you never know what could happen. So while it's great she's paying for it, you need to make sure it's not more than you can personally cover.

When it comes to weddings, you are dealing with vendors. They are business people first. While they may cut you a break because of a personal connection, you still have a right to good service, and if they aren't going to do that, you have the right to walk. You are not obligated to hire them. If your FMIL is adament about going with her buddy--ask yourself why? If it's for sentimental reasons...sorry. it's your wedding and he's not a professional. If it's because she likes the price, then maybe find out what she's willing to contribute (if she still is), and try to work with another florist, and maybe downgrade your centerpieces, that way she doesn't break the bank.

From a personal experince, I probably would never work with a vendor that was a friend of the family, because you feel obligated and they have you over the barrel in a sense, and you are limited in what you can say or expressing concerns. They are there to provide a service, it's an important day that you only get once in a lifetime, and for what you pay, whether it's a discount or not, you are entitled to receive good service. Obviously be grateful for the discounts and don't take advantage of their kindness, but that doesn't give them the right to slack off because you are paying as much.

Meg1979 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-making-mountain-out-of-molehill-bit-long-blugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b42def7c-bbf1-496f-bc00-d4367771cff1Post:ca5ffc9f-2aab-4cc2-bdf8-71a39889f361">Re: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? [bit long, blugh]</a>:
[QUOTE]If a vendor is giving you this much grief BEFORE you even have a contract with them, RUN. <strong>You are setting yourself up for a ton of grief. Also, if you and Fi's name goes on the contract--YOU are legally obligated to pay for it, and are responsible for any balances if for some reason your FMIL falls thru and can't pay for it. </strong> You need to be ready for that possiblity--you never know what could happen. So while it's great she's paying for it, you need to make sure it's not more than you can personally cover. When it comes to weddings, you are dealing with vendors. They are business people first. While they may cut you a break because of a personal connection, you still have a right to good service, and if they aren't going to do that, you have the right to walk. You are not obligated to hire them. If your FMIL is adament about going with her buddy--ask yourself why? If it's for sentimental reasons...sorry. it's your wedding and he's not a professional. If it's because she likes the price, then maybe find out what she's willing to contribute (if she still is), and try to work with another florist, and maybe downgrade your centerpieces, that way she doesn't break the bank. From a personal experince, I probably would never work with a vendor that was a friend of the family, because you feel obligated and they have you over the barrel in a sense, and you are limited in what you can say or expressing concerns. They are there to provide a service, it's an important day that you only get once in a lifetime, and for what you pay, whether it's a discount or not, you are entitled to receive good service. Obviously be grateful for the discounts and don't take advantage of their kindness, but that doesn't give them the right to slack off because you are paying as much.
Posted by MegaMultitasker[/QUOTE]

I agree with this so much. I would be wary of signing up for anything, especially since this florist seems to be iffy on the communication. I was also treated sort of badly because of a discount. I mean, I think the florist was treating me like a less-important customer because of it. That got straightened out really quick.

katiewhompus · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_am-making-mountain-out-of-molehill-bit-long-blugh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b42def7c-bbf1-496f-bc00-d4367771cff1Post:77e85bcc-9c1e-4d83-b0e9-06aa9eb4b07b">Re: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? [bit long, blugh]</a>:
[QUOTE]If she is adamant that you need to use her high school friend, why can't she use him for reception flowers, and you can use whoever you like for ceremony flowers?
Posted by mrs.jesse[/QUOTE]

I like this idea. Just make sure both are aware there is another florist doing another aspect of the wedding so there isn't a giant flower battle or something.

I'm logical because I've been/am there <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" /> Comcast treated us like shiit before we signed up for their service, and guess what! That hasn't changed now that we're paying customers. Fvckers are the only cable service in town though and the only internet provider other than dial-up.

sister2groom · December 2010

I also like Mrs. Jesse's idea. But if I were in your position I would want to try anything and everything to make sure this customer service wasn't just a fluke cause it sounds like he's a really great deal. Can you make up some reason to check something with them and check something minor and see how they treat you? I don't know, maybe that receptionist was a cruddy temp or something. I know this is insanely wishful thinking, but, it sounds like it might be worth a phone call.

skippylouwho · December 2010

If FILs are paying for the flowers, their names go on the contract. Otherwise - if they don't pay up you'll be liable and the florist will come after you.

Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? [bit long, blugh]

Re: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? [bit long, blugh]

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