Unpopular Opinions?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

Oh! I judge when I read something, like an obituary or an article about a celebrity and it says, "They have a daughter from their first marriage and an adopted son." Or how about they just have a daughter and a son? I find that fairly offensive and if I ever adopt a child I will NOT let anyone marginalize them like that.

JessAndTrav · August 2010

Oh, and Keeks, I'm allergic to avocados. It's not an opinion, but you've mentioned more than once that you love avocados, and I just thought that you may like to know that I can't eat them.

pumpkinpumpkin · August 2010

I love how SUVs get a bad rap, but vans don't.
Anyone who thinks that AWD vehicles aren't necessary obviously doesn't live where I do.

Belle2Be · August 2010

Oooh my opinion is Always the unpopular one!

I think etiquette is over-rated.

I hate uneven bridal parties.

I am superstitious, I believe in good ju-ju and bad ju-ju.

I hate black at weddings.

Hmmm I'm sure I have more!

andyandhillary · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:3fceab0a-2091-40e9-8d12-b065be333a49">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think people who have more than one biological child are completely selfish. People are starving, the Earth is dying, and there are numerous children in America (if you must have a Caucasian baby) that don't have stable healthy homes.
Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]

Actually, the adoption process is extremely expensive, emotionally and mentally draining, and complicated. For example, in the U.S. for every one infant up for adoption, four couples want it. The foster system is a whole other bag of complications and it's not easy to adopt from that point.

U.S. adoptions are extremely expensive and foreign are even worse. Sometimes you have to be overseas for months at a time.

I agree, a lot of kids need good homes and families but it isn't an easy issue.

andyandhillary · August 2010

I don't think people are saying SUVs aren't necessary everywhere but they are not necessary in downtown DC or downtown LA unless you have a hobby which requires it. If you really need it, then you're good.

Vans are also terrible, but they frequently fit more children. Only recently did a lot more SUVs come out with more than 5 passenger seating.

[Deleted User] · August 2010

I think matching BM dresses look better than letting them pick their own.

Eggs are gross, no matter how they're cooked.

If I had to step down as a BM and was replaced, I wouldn't feel like a "replacement friend." Likewise, if I was asked to step in for someone else, I wouldn't think of it as not being good enough. I don't see it as that big a deal (assuming the BM wasn't kicked out, that I don't agree with).

wadingmoose · August 2010

I don't like SUV's either and I live pretty farkin' far north. Herbert owns a truck because we go camping and fishing and most cars won't tow what is required for that.

I've primarily driving cars and 2wd vehicles and I have no problems at all.

SUVs are definitely not required for what most people use them for - picking up the kids and grabbing some groceries.

amysmomma · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:3fceab0a-2091-40e9-8d12-b065be333a49">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think people who have more than one biological child are completely selfish. People are starving, the Earth is dying, and there are numerous children in America (if you must have a Caucasian baby) that don't have stable healthy homes.
Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]

That's funny, I don't hear that a lot.

Usually it's people biitching at me because I just want one child, they make me feel like I'm being selfish - and my child is either going to grow up lonely and/or spoiled rotten. I thought having only one child was an unpopular opinion, I guess not.

sarabellam · August 2010

I don't get why people who claim to want an adults-only wedding want a flower girl.

I think that vow renewals, as long as people are aware, are no big deal. So what if you JOP'd it for whatever reason and want your big AW day. Aren't most of the trappings at weddings big AW stuff, too?

Celles · August 2010

I don't like screen names that have "mom" or "mommy" or any variation thereof in them. (Sorry, amysmomma. It's not just you; it's popular on my community forum, too!)

You don't lose your identity when you have kids, nor does naming yourself after your spawn make you look like some kind of Supermom.

Stackeye210 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:3fceab0a-2091-40e9-8d12-b065be333a49">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think people who have more than one biological child are completely selfish. People are starving, the Earth is dying, and there are numerous children in America (if you must have a Caucasian baby) that don't have stable healthy homes.
Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]

Really? I can't choose to live my life the way I want to because other people have kids that get put in the system?

I'm all for lending a helping hand and doing my part to save the environment - but if I want 2 kids, then I'll have 2 kids. It isn't selfish of me.

AND - as a side note before you got all psycho about it - T and I HAVE talked about adopting AND fostering but if I choose not to do either, it doesn't make me selfish.

amysmomma · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:0a798557-141d-48ac-bebd-acdc5b5a815e">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't like screen names that have "mom" or "mommy" or any variation thereof in them. (Sorry, amysmomma. It's not just you; it's popular on my community forum, too!) You don't lose your identity when you have kids, nor does naming yourself after your spawn make you look like some kind of Supermom.
Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

lol! yeah I see your point. in my defence, it's just because I'm horribly unoriginal and I couldn't think of anything else. and i love my little spawn, and I do think I'm a super mom. :)

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

It's actually quite hard to adopt a healthy white newborn baby, which the vast majority of adopting couples want.

amysmomma · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:4270b1bb-8ba6-4340-81a9-ba7771c60e74">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : Really? I can't choose to live my life the way I want to because other people have kids that get put in the system? I'm all for lending a helping hand and doing my part to save the environment - but if I want 2 kids, then I'll have 2 kids. It isn't selfish of me. AND - as a side note before you got all psycho about it - T and I HAVE talked about adopting AND fostering but if I choose not to do either, it doesn't make me selfish.
Posted by Stackeye210[/QUOTE]

I agree with your point 110%

Celles · August 2010

I think it's fine to separate the civil and ceremonial aspects of a wedding. If you want to JOP it in advance of your ceremony and still call your ceremony your "wedding" instead of your "vow renewal," feel free.

This goes hand in hand with my wish that the government would recognize civil unions across the board -- for same sex and opposite sex couples -- and leave marriage purely ceremonial and in the jurisdiction of the church (with church being a catch-all phrase for any religious or social institution that chooses to define marriage for its members or congregants). Separate the civil and ceremonial aspects completely and we can do away with a whole lot of political drama and hate-mongering.

Celles · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:ed135023-f2f6-4726-8992-26501c1ffdcb">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : lol! yeah I see your point. in my defence, it's just because I'm horribly unoriginal and I couldn't think of anything else. and i love my little spawn, and I do think I'm a super mom. :)
Posted by amysmomma[/QUOTE]

For what it's worth, I think your spawn is adorable. :)

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:ac784e11-d6e9-4cfa-bc55-82fd2863b208">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's fine to separate the civil and ceremonial aspects of a wedding. If you want to JOP it in advance of the ceremony and still call the ceremony your "wedding" instead of your "vow renewal," feel free. This goes hand in hand with my wish that the government would recognize civil unions across the board -- for same sex and opposite sex couples -- and leave marriage purely ceremonial and in the jurisdiction of the church (with church being a catch-all phrase for any religious or social institution that chooses to define marriage for its members or congregants). Separate the civil and ceremonial aspects completely and we can do away with a whole lot of political drama and hate-mongering.
Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

I agree with that. As long as whatever gay and straight unions are called is the same, I don't care if it's called civil marriage or civil unions or purple dinosaur.

Aimee8314 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:e15f3b06-612d-45ce-a03e-0eaa9b614668">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think you should compromise with your FI/H on everything. (This stems from a girl on my club board who is not moving her maiden name to her middle name because her FI has a problem with it and told her that when you grow up and get married, that's "just what you do" - get rid of your last name. I would be SUPER uncomfortable with that, to the point of not wanting to marry someone who said that to me, but to each their own.) A lot of people told me they need to compromise because he might have valid reasons for not wanting her to do that to her name. Except that it isn't his name, so... Is anyone else with me? I mean, there are things where my opinion is not going to change, things where I'll gladly compromise, and things where I'll let it go and let FI have his way. And combined, I guess taking together, that's what compromise means to me.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Exactly, Mery! I was all WTF? Seriously?
Also - I'm not a huge fan of when people have their own issues that they aren't taking care of (like, their FI's brother calling their mom a bitch, tell her their marriage won't last, exposing himself etc - and the FI not doing anything about it) and then they want to give you advice or pass judgement on how to handle your relationship. Uh, no.

amysmomma · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:4d36d6ef-83e9-47be-a94b-46a4c6c462c7">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : For what it's worth, I think your spawn is adorable. :)
Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

tyvm! :)

ooh reminds me of another unpopular opinion that i have

some babies are seriously NOT cute. I would *never* say something, but wowsers...

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:7656b9dc-d78d-43d8-ba7e-751c9236b516">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : Exactly, Mery! I was all WTF? Seriously? Also - I'm not a huge fan of when people have their own issues that they aren't taking care of (like, their FI's brother calling their mom a bitch, tell her their marriage won't last, exposing himself etc - and the FI not doing anything about it) and then they want to give you advice or pass judgement on how to handle your relationship. Uh, no.
Posted by Aimee8314[/QUOTE]

OMG AImee, I had forgotten about that but YES. I don't want a husband who is super controlling OR one who fails to defend me and my mother from viscious insults. But hey, enjoy your marriages guys...

Mrs.B6302007 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:3fceab0a-2091-40e9-8d12-b065be333a49">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think people who have more than one biological child are completely selfish. People are starving, the Earth is dying, and there are numerous children in America (if you must have a Caucasian baby) that don't have stable healthy homes.
Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]

I guess there's no point in my asking how you feel about the Duggar clan.

spechtholdn · August 2010

I hate when couple's split up their money. I believe that sharing the money comes with sharing your life together, but that's just the way I was raised I guess.

Belle2Be · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:b91c56a3-5126-424e-8afe-1df295d56c8f">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : tyvm! :) ooh reminds me of another unpopular opinion that i have some babies are seriously NOT cute. I would *never* say something, but wowsers...
Posted by amysmomma[/QUOTE]
Haha I agree, I've seen some interesting looking babies! Just *smile and nod* LOL.

Celles · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:b91c56a3-5126-424e-8afe-1df295d56c8f">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : tyvm! :) ooh reminds me of another unpopular opinion that i have some babies are seriously NOT cute. I would *never* say something, but wowsers...
Posted by amysmomma[/QUOTE]

This! So many seem to pop out looking like squished turnips!

Another child-related unpopular opinion: I hate it when parents bring their kids to work! If it's a new baby and you want to show it off for the first time, okay, fine, whatever. I get it, even if I'll never be one of those women who runshes over to ooh and aww over your screaming squished turnip. But once the novelty has worn off and they're toddling, pleaaaaase don't bring them to the office! The shrieking is annoying and I don't actually think it's cute when they wander into my office and ask to play with my paperclips. No. Shoo.

Belle2Be · August 2010

I have no problem with multiple receptions or ceremonies

I will still give a gift for every one I'm invited to

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:6296998f-67d4-4a02-ab99-4d2c1a9c9bd0">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate when couple's split up their money. I believe that sharing the money comes with sharing your life together, but that's just the way I was raised I guess.
Posted by spechtholdn[/QUOTE]

Well, there's really no "splitting up money" as long as the couple lives together, unless you nickel and dime everything and ask for a check for exactly 50% of the household expenses at the end of the money. If one person pays one bill and someone pays another, it doesn't matter what account it comes from, IMO. (Yes, Fi and I have separate accounts, but we're open about them and discuss big purchases with each other.)

When I was growing up I lived with a mother who was a SAHM for 8 years. I remember her having to BEG my father for $20 here and there and him leaving us at our summer cottage for the entire week without money or a car, figuring that he did the grocery shopping when he was there, so we wouldn't need anything anyway. So forgive me if not having a little something of my own makes me panic a little.

JessAndTrav · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:7ebd4776-34fc-493c-9858-6ce23b9a826d">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have no problem with multiple receptions or ceremonies :) I will still give a gift for every one I'm invited to :)
Posted by Belle2Be[/QUOTE]

If I throw a party this weekend and call it a wedding reception, will you buy me something cool?

JessAndTrav · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:e27ef9f3-b047-4f32-8735-4579cf1c5996">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : Well, there's really no "splitting up money" as long as the couple lives together, unless you nickel and dime everything and ask for a check for exactly 50% of the household expenses at the end of the money.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

OMG, like in The Joy Luck Club. I couldn't handle that.

mandysmear · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:6b70b57b-0ab2-4fcc-935c-c16413e8dd0d">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]1. Cash bars are perfectly fine and expected in my area. I have no issue with them at all, as long as non-alcoholic beverages are free. 2. Money dance (in my circle it's actually called a sock dance)- is (I believe) a tradition for french-canadians, because every french-canadian wedding i've been to had one. And I never had any issue with it either, it's actually quite hilarious to see a grown man (and usually the ring bearer) dance around in funny socks for change (and quite fun to throw money at them. 3. Not a fan of strapless dresses and I find them unflattering to most brides. 4. A-OK with adult only weddings (and having a flower girl/ring bearer exception - or close relatives as an exception), I find it ridiculous that people would expect you to invite their kids. 5. Find wedding showers totally useless in this day and age. My mom keeps threatening to throw me one, I don't want one at all. 6. Agree with the garter toss as being pretty nasty. Not something I want to see, do it at the hotel room later. 7. Think monogrammed aisle runners, or virtually anything monogrammed is a bit AW for my tastes.
Posted by amysmomma[/QUOTE]

WHOA WHOA WHOA. BACK THE TRAIN UP. I am as french canadien as it gets and the first and only wedding I went to with a dollar dance was in Montana.

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