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?/Vent: tuxedos

Stacylynn702Stacylynn702 member
First Comment
in Pennsylvania-Philadelphia
FI picked out tuxedos for our bridal party and he chose for our fathers to wear black tuxes, ivory shirts and a black tie and vest.  Well, FFIL already has a tux from his eldest son's wedding (almost 15 years ago).  It's a bow tie, white shirt and a cumberbund.  FFIL refuses to rent a shirt, vest and tie since he already has a tux.   He told FI he'll only wear it if FI picks it up and pays for it.  Seriously, like he has nothing else to do this week!?  What should we do about this? FMIL agrees with us but FFIL is being very stubborn about it.  I'm pretty offended myself.  It's our wedding and this is what everyone else is wearing.  He will stick out like a sore thumb.  Also, I think it will make our pics with our parents look silly.  I don't know if I should be upset that he will stick out in pictures or just let it go.  Like I said though, FI is furious and really hurt by this.  Is this really asking a lot???

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Re: ?/Vent: tuxedos

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    jessica0602jessica0602 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Your FFIL is not, or at least should not, be required to rent a tux.  If you want him to look a very specific way, you pay for it.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I actually don't think he will look that silly.  It isn't like it's a power blue velvet tux.  A classic black tux should be fine, honestly.  

    Otherwise I agree with Jess.  
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    benmel31benmel31 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Its annoying, but I would not let is get to you this week.  It is a shame that he won't rent a shirt, vest, and tie.  This is what my dad did because he already had a tux.  It only cost him about $30 or $40.   But on the other hand, I agree, its a classic tux.  It will not look exactly the same, but it will not stand out.  I don't think this one is worth the fight.
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    Stacylynn702Stacylynn702 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The part that bothers FI the most is the bow tie.  No one else will be wearing one, not even FI.  He thinks it will look overdressed.

    The part that bothers me is FIL's stubborness.  I feel like he doesn't give a crap about any of the wedding stuff.  He just does whatever he wants.  I don't understand why he won't do something so small.  Every wedding I've ever been to, the dads dressed the same.  I didn't think it was a lot to ask but I guess I'm wrong. 
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    Stacylynn702Stacylynn702 member
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    edited December 2011
    BTW Jess.  Happy early anniversary.  I won't be on this weekend to wish it to you then.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think you should pass it off to FI and not think about it Stacy.  
    He's not going to stand out that much either way.  

    Get a massage and a mani/ pedi. Enjoy your week!  
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    miguelhilary2010miguelhilary2010
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know I'm late with my opinion, but I agree with pp.  He won't stand out in pictures and its not really a battle worth fighting the week of the wedding.  Let it go (I know, easier said than done).
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    ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you can really specify. The GM I can see wanting them to all be the same, but if FFIL has a tux, let him wear the one he has. My father in law had a tux and it was lined in red (bow tie and cumberbund) and everyone else was in vests aside from DH. It looked fine. He's a father, not a GM, it won't matter if he looks a little different. If you want him to look exactly the same, I think it's filed under the "if you want all your BM to have matching hairstyles, you pay for the hairstyle", saying tux I get, but specifically making them wear a certain kind when he already owns one is a little much for me.
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    caraellen23caraellen23
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry, that's really frustrating! I sort of agree with most PPs though.  We had requirements for the groomsmen (they all wore tuxes with bowties and cummerbunds) but not the fathers.  My father was planning to wear a bowtie, but showed up last minute in a long tie.  FIL showed up in a hideous orange and black bowtie/pocketfold combo that I absolutely HATED. But there's not much you can do.  If you want him to wear a specific tie, you might have to get it for him. 

    And I also agree that you should hand this one over to FI.
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    Stacylynn702Stacylynn702 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Turns out FMIL agrees with FI.  She went to the store today and got it for him.  She still doesn't think he'll wear it.  We'll see.  I don't care either way.  Like I said, my problem is the stubborness, not the tux.
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