I am a bridesmaid in my cousins wedding in early May of this year. I moved 11 hours away last year (before being asked to be in the WP) so I have offered to do whatever I can from a distance or pitch whatever monotary value is needed for our BM gifts and the bridal shower. Since I am in med school, 11 hours away, and a planner of all things I wanted a heads up so I could have time to arranage/schedule/plan anything they requested. Since I didn't hear about anything from anyone so far I called the only other BM I know, the bride, and finally my aunt since I did not hear back from the other two. My aunt informed me that as far as she knew there were no plans for a bridal shower as of yet. The last she was told by the bride was that the bride wanted to talk to her MOH about it but nothing has been planned. She also told me that there is not much preperation done for the wedding either which is 3.5 months away. In fact, she said she went and booked the reception venue and hired a dj for them. Other than that, the bride and BM's have there dresses since the bride required that happen months ago. As of today they don't have invitations, a ceremony space, an officiant, etc. etc. etc.. I told her I was planning on booking my ticket this week and she said I should definitely get it. Just to double check, I called my brother. He is friends with the groom and in the wedding as well. He informed me they were actually having problems and the groom mentioned to him in December that the wedding was off. However since then the groom has said it is back on and briefly mentioned that they had to go get a tux soon but never said anything further about actually going somewhere in particular. The bride never mentioned any problems to me but thinking back the last we talked about the wedding was in October.
Here is my debate...since I live 11 hours away and am pursuing my doctorate degree I unfortunately cannot take time off to go home for the wedding. So I will have to fly in Friday night and back Sunday afternoon. I was fine with this and was planning on booking my ticket this week. Now, however, I am not sure if I should book my flight yet. I do not mean to be rude but I do not want to spend the hundreds of dollars, the time, or the hassle to go home for one day if there is not a wedding to attend. However, the longer I wait the more it is going to cost and the more I risk not getting a flight that fits my schedule. I know there is insurance and you can change your flight for up to a year but I would most likely not use it any other time with my schedule.
So what are your thoughts. Perhaps it is not abnormal for these things to happen and not be planned yet. What do you think? Is this normal/okay yet? Should I book my flight or maybe wait for an invitation?