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April 2013 Weddings

FI Vent!

Sooo FI and I got into it last night over our wedding bands! We have been soooo busy and just have no time with me working on the weekends at my second job, and have had things to do every weekend with the family. It is now crunch time for us and we have to get our bands. FIs easy he is just getting a tungsten ring online. I on the other hand am going to the person who made my e-ring. The only time she has available is on Saturday and we need to go bc its a process ( it takes time after we meet she goes into the diamond district in nyc to shop for the dimonds) I have another fitting on Saturday at 10:30am and have work from 2-6pm. She is there from 12-6. So I said to him its cutting it close with time we could go and get me back in time for work...p.s. its also a good 45 minute drive. He then says why do I have to go, I am not the one getting a band from her. I was planning on going to the fishing expo in new york! I was annoyed and it blew up from there.... when he gets mad at me or thinks i am out of line he takes some really low jabs in the heat of the moment.

I just feel like I have done everything for this wedding. He really has only come to meet vendors and final appointments. This is one thing that I  just thought that he should come to since he is the one that knows her, its not like its any other ring... its my wedding band...

So needless to say, I am still annoyed with him and he knows it. Thanks for letting me vent!
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Re: FI Vent!

  • I can relate.  I really wanted FI to hurry up and make a decision regarding his band back in December, we went to about 4-5 stores a couple of times.  All he wanted was a simple 4mm band in platinum. We don't live near each other so it's kind of a big deal to take 4-6 hours doing this of the 3 days out of the month we get to see each other, if that much.

    So basically he went shopping with his BM and he was supposed to get both of our rings from the same store and the same sales lady we had met with previously and then call me and let me know how it went.  Well, BM decided that FI would be paying too much and decided to "help" FI find a better option.  When FI called me, he said he got my ring but not his.  WHAT?!?!?  Then he was really shady trying to explain the plan b/c he didn't actually have a plan, he was just going to look online and put it off longer even though he had a couple of month-long deployments coming up.  UGHHHH!!!!  So he got mad at me b/c I got mad at him for not including me in the process of OUR wedding bands and just jumping off the bridge when his BM decided to.

    He bought a palladium band(not platinum) at a store in Pittsburgh a month later, from an awful sales lady and went on deployment for a month. They didn't have the ring in stock, so we just had to order it online in the store, something we could have done easily from the comfort of our own homes.  We had the ring shipped to my place for safe keeping so he couldn't try it on until we saw each other again.  By the time he tried it on, he decided the band was too slim and wanted to exchange it. We called customer service to explain his deployment b/c the exchange/return period had passed-the guy was no help. UGHHH!!

    I urged him to try talking to someone in PERSON in a store in Tampa, where everyone's high on sunshine and bend over backwards to help you out.  Sure enough, he was able to find a ring that was one mm wider and he only had to pay an extra $15 to get it.

    That man, I swear I love him but sometimes....grrr!!!  Glad to hear we weren't the only ones with wedding band drama.

    Good luck with yours!  Did you explain to your FI that it's important for you to do this together since it's symbolic of making decisions in your marriage?  FI and I didn't speak for about a day and a half after the initial blow up and once I explained that to him, he understood and included me.

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  • I just went through this yesterday with my FI. I am sorry :(

    We have a few things left to do and he knows that it will get done by me no matter what so he really doesn't put forth the effort I am looking for. We have to pick out a logo for our photobooth. I really didn't like the one he picked so I said let's keep looking. He said nope I didn't like his choice so why should he keep trying? WTF!! I need help! So I asked him to email the music lady instead and he's like well why can't you do it? I blew up after that. Dude, I need help. I am stressing out!!
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  • edited February 2013
    My only drama is that FI still hasn't sent my ring out for engraving. It's cobalt chrome, so it needs to be specially done with a laser, it can't just be taken anywhere. He needs to allow two weeks for the process (one to send it and one to get it back), since the place I used is in California. We're now just over 6 weeks to our wedding and AFAIK, my ring is still sitting in its box on the hutch.

    Oh well. If he doesn't get it engraved before the wedding, I'll send it out after the wedding and get whatever I want written on it!
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  • My FI was like this at the end of 2012 - he was very busy at work and I agreed to get off of his ass until 2013.  At the beginning of 2013 he helped me knock a bunchof things off of the list.  We haven't had much to do recently, but starting this weekend it is on again - tons to do.  He will help, but the only thing I cannot get him to help with is the damn must have photo list.  We just fought about this because he told me just to write it and we will be good.  No way!  If I do that and forget to write a picture of someone in his family, they will be upset and I know he will say "Sorry, Amber wrote the list and she didn't know."  UH NO- no FIL drama there because you are too lazy to write a list!  I hope we can get this list written this weekend.
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  • We are mostly arguing about who is contacting people. He is always asking me to reach out. I work all day and his hours just got changed so he is home days. I argue he has more time than I do to contact people and he says I am just being lazy. I get 2 ten minute breaks (that I mostly work through) and a 30 minute lunch. I predict a showdown in the next few days if this is not resolved.
  • We got our bands back in December.  I knew FI would be extremely picky (which is fine - I mean it's his band!) so we set aside a Saturday before Christmas and spent a few hours at the store.  Then we "gave" them to each other for Christmas - although neither of us wears them, we just called it our Christmas gifts bc we had no money spend thanks to the wedding! 

    Good luck to all of you!  I would be right there with you going nuts if this wasn't done yet. 
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  • It is good to hear similar situations. Thanks ladies :)
    FI sent me a long text this morning apologizing. He does get that this is important and something he should be there for.
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  • If it makes you feel better, we still havent ordered my wedding band. :) Dont stress, your supposed to enjoy these last few weeks.
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