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July 2010 Weddings

Guests for younger cousins...

Question...
I have a handful of younger cousins ages 17, 19, 21 - the 19 is now engaged (dont ask, drama) and the older one has a boyfriend, the 17 does not.

Originally we were not giving dates to those under 21, but w/ the 19 yr old now engaged, we have to invite his fiance. So do we give the 21 yr old her date, and then what about the 17 yr old?

All are sibilings. Any suggestions?

Re: Guests for younger cousins...

  • I would give them all a date... it's kind of hard to say, well the 19 year old can bring a date, but the 21 year old cant, it may get sticky.  FI and I got engaged when I was 19 :)  It's been a loonngg engagement lol
  • Honestly?

    The 19 and the 21 year old should both get dates.  Especially because they get their own invitations since they're over the age of 18.  And if I read your question correctly, the 21 year old should have had a date from the beginning because she's over 21 and has a bf.

    I think that giving dates by age is a bit rude.  Generally, people get a date if they've been dating for awhile (ie, dating when the save-the-dates) of out, or if you're giving EVERYONE a plus-one.   
    image Anniversary

    RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
    You made my wedding day complete.
  • We are doing no guests UNLESS we have met and know your significant other.  Some more distant cousins may be upset because if we haven't seen them in a long while and don't know or haven't met their sig-o, then they don't get and guest.

    Our rule comes from the necessity to keep costs down because we are footing the bill.  If one of our parents complains about it (which has happened already), we say to them - if you want to pay for the extra people that we don't know, we will gladly invite them.  They've generally backed off when we said this.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    image 148 Invited
    image 113 Are Ready to Party
    image 35 Are Party Poopers
    image
  • Jintz, then i wouldn't have attended your wedding.

    My cousin got married when I had been with my now FI for more than a year and a half.  Due to location, my cousin hadn't met him.  He wasn't invited.  I was insulted. She also asked me to sing at her wedding.  I called her mom and asked what was up and she let me bring him, but I have to say that people who have been in relationships will be VERY offended if you don't allow their S/Os.  They are social units, it's something to consider  Put yourself in the reverse situation - would you attend a wedding without your FI?  Even if he wasn't your FI yet?
    image Anniversary

    RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
    You made my wedding day complete.
  • I agree with everyone else! 17 yr old does not need a date!

    We're doing long term relationships if they don't understand now they will when they are planning a wedding and your asked to "cut your list down...."

  • we are allowing them to invite a guest, even though i don't think their parents will allow them.  but it's only one 16y/o.  So no biggie if she does.
    Photobucket
  • If a relative won't come to our wedding because we didn't invite them "and guest" then I guess FI or I weren't really that close to that relative. 

    I guess I should clarify to say that we are allowing for guests of long-term relationships - but we need to know that person's name, and that person will be SPECIFICALLY invited to the wedding.  We are going out of our way to make sure we know as many significant others of our relatives... even if we've only met them once.  There will be absolutely no "and guest" on an invitiation.

    Chances are, if one of my cousins or FI's cousins has been with someone for a year and a half, we have met them - if we haven't met them, then the cousin probably isn't on our list either because they are not close family. 

    The point of not inviting "and guest" is to prevent the random dates that people bring to a wedding just because they can.  We really can't afford that.  We want our wedding reception to be people we know and love and the people they love - not someone's random dates. 

    In your case, Saisong, you WOULD have been invited because you were a long term relationship.  But, your FI would not have been invited "and guest" we would have went out of our way to find out your name.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    image 148 Invited
    image 113 Are Ready to Party
    image 35 Are Party Poopers
    image
  • edited January 2010
    Jints - fair enough!  Thanks for clarifying!
    image Anniversary

    RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
    You made my wedding day complete.
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