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August 2010 Weddings

Vent: Uncapable BM's

I just have to vent...I have been so stressed over 2 of my bridesmaids b/c they are not trying AT ALL!

My BM's and I all went together to look for dresses and we all came to a compromise as to what dress we all liked. The dress was ordered and they came in at the beginning of November everybody has gone to pick up their dresses except my other 2 cousins (I offered numerous times to go pick them up). One of them lives here and one of them is from out of state. The one from out of state is here for thanksgiving and has no intention of picking up her dress b/c every single time I text her she ignores me! It just makes me so mad b/c while shes here she should go get the dress! She won't be back in state until June, and I really think that is cutting it close with alterations. So..basically she is going to make me mail the dress to her when she could easily go pick it up while she is here. 

 The same thing with the other cousin I tried to get a hold of her for over 3 weeks to tell her the dresses were in and she ignored me! She claimed that she "didn't get my texts" which I think is all BS. I'm ready to kick both of them out of the wedding b/c they are causing more stress than good right now! And to top it all off I didn't even formally ask my younger cousin to be in it...she just assumed she was b/c her sister was! I am so frustrated right now. Thanks for listening ladies.
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Expecting baby #1: May 17, 2013

Re: Vent: Uncapable BM's

  • Hey,

    I am sorry you have to deal with this, but really it's all going to be okay.

    My first question is do they have to pay a certain amount of money when they go pick it up? Maybe that is why they are holding off. It is right around the holidays so people are trying to save $. If this isn't the case then ignore me.

    June is PLENTY of time to get alterations though. Most seamstresses can finish alterations in a week or two. BM dresses are a lot less complicated to alter. My BMs aren't even ordering until February!

    If they don't get their dress then they removed themselves from the WP -- don't kick them out unless you are ready to no longer have them as friends & cause even more drama.

    Lastly, stop the texts they know what they have to do. It's in their hands. You can't sweat the small stuff -- not this early anyways. Don't worry....just breathe!!
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  • I agree with the other tiny I would stop texting them because you are only going to annoy them more. They know what they have to do so they should be the ones worrying about it. If they want to look ugly at your wedding that's their problem not yours. (You can always ask them to not be in the pictures lol) I wouldn't stress about it life is too short to worry about people.
  • give them the same respect they are giving you. if the dress has been ordered, it's their responsibility to pay and have altered. So - just let it go... for a better sense. We aren't ordering dresses until December 15th and they will be here in march for my may wedding. it's PLENTY of time.
  • sorry that you are having troubles! but like pp, kicking them out may cause more drama...i would advise just not depending on them for anything and then you wont be dissapointed
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  • I fel the same way gur! I have bm's that r not asking me if I need any help.  It bothers me because I am doing everything by myself.
  • pawdap -- not to be mean or snarky but your BM's job is not to help plan -- while it is WONDERFUL when they do you shouldn't expect it. Their only job is to get the dress, show up & be pleasant. Everything else is just icing on the cake :) If you need help ask your FI -- it's his wedding too!

    Also, I know August 2010 seems very close to all of us, but for our BMs its worlds away! I agree in a perfect world BMs would be as excited as us, but some aren't & we just have to accept it & move on.
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  • Very well said tiny. I had to find that out the hard way...not EVERY bm is going to be as excited as you about the wedding. It's tough to deal with..but its the truth 
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    Expecting baby #1: May 17, 2013
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