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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Elopement registry

I got an envelope in the mail containing a photo announcement of a couple who recently eloped, marrying in Vegas. The only things in the envelope were the announcement/photo, then two little printouts listing different places the couple is registered and their address. I'm a little surprised I got this in the first place because I barely know the couple. The groom is the brother of a friend who was part of my core group of girl friends in grad school, but she and I have not kept in close touch since graduating. I tried for a long time, but it was always me initiating contact and her not answering or being too busy to get together, so I backed off and she has not made any effort. It's ok, she's a nice person but people get busy. I've only met her brother a few times socially, and I met his new wife one time at a group meal. This is the second marriage for both the bride and groom who just eloped. Not to be rude or anything, but do I just ignore this, or should I send the couple a simple congratulations card? I can't see why they are contacting me other than to ask for gifts, because they have never contacted me in the past to share any other sorts of good news or announcements in their lives, such as their engagement, their new business, the new house they bought, or even just to say hello. I doubt they'd even recognize me on the street.

Re: Elopement registry

  • Sounds super gift grabby to me.  There would be nothing wrong with eitehr ignoring or sending a card. Don't feel like you have to do anything, though, especially getting a gift. If it were me, I would toss and ignore.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

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  • I would not do anything with this announcement.  It was very tacky to send out an announcement with the included registry.  It is very gift grabby!  If you want to send a card of congrats, you can, but I probably would not be doing that considering you barely know the couple!
  • I would ignore it as well.
    Anniversary Visit The Nest!
  • I would toss it and wouldn't bother sending anything. Super gift-grabby.


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    Vacation
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_elopement-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7e8c83ca-f830-4b5b-a079-136959a5b200Post:1f5e1d76-64d4-4308-84e1-3573084239df">Elopement registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]I got an envelope in the mail containing a photo announcement of a couple who recently eloped, marrying in Vegas. The only things in the envelope were the announcement/photo, then two little printouts listing different places the couple is registered and their address. I'm a little surprised I got this in the first place because I barely know the couple. The groom is the brother of a friend who was part of my core group of girl friends in grad school, but she and I have not kept in close touch since graduating. I tried for a long time, but it was always me initiating contact and her not answering or being too busy to get together, so I backed off and she has not made any effort. It's ok, she's a nice person but people get busy. I've only met her brother a few times socially, and I met his new wife one time at a group meal. This is the second marriage for both the bride and groom who just eloped. Not to be rude or anything, but do I just ignore this, or should I send the couple a simple congratulations card? I can't see why they are contacting me other than to ask for gifts, because they have never contacted me in the past to share any other sorts of good news or announcements in their lives, such as their engagement, their new business, the new house they bought, or even just to say hello. I doubt they'd even recognize me on the street.
    Posted by Corgnilias[/QUOTE]


    Like PPs, I would ignore the announcement and send nothing based on the fact you barely know the couple. It's a pretty obvious gift grab.
    Due 10/21/13 with our first baby BabyFruit Ticker
  • Since you aren't really friends with them it's extra gift-grabby to me. Recycle.
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    Anniversary
  • I think I would send a card with warm congratulations. On the off chance that the announcement came from a genuine desire to share good news, a card would be nice. If they're expecting a gift, I think the card sends the message that there isn't one coming. It's a sort of satisfying thought.
  • Eye-roll then toss.  And maybe a "I hate people" thrown in for good measure.
  • I think if they just genuinely were being nice and wanted to share their good news with everyone, they wouldn't have sent registry information in with the announcement. Super gift grabby and tacky.
  • I guess I'll ignore it. Thanks. I just didn't want to overreact because this gift request, plus the fact that this college friend did not RSVP to my wedding, hurt my feelings a little and I didn't know if I was just reacting. She is the least close friend that we invited, but I invited the other two from our school mutual friend group and I felt awkward not inviting her. Sounds like it might be time to distance myself from this friendship, though, since this further confirms it had become really one-way. 
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